Which sacrifice should I made?

[pinkycheeks]

Hi Parents


I feel helpless at this moment because I lacked support.

I received a call from my son's teacher (he's in P2) and was told that he did badly for his 1st grammar test. I was very disappointed with my son and had a good talk with him last night. I felt very emotional about how he had performed (as if I was the one taking the test). My son got average results in P1 and when he failed his grammar test recently, I felt like the world tumbled down.

My son is the type of boy who would wait for me to come back from work and sit down to do his homework only at night. I have put in so much effort to talk to him to try doing his homework after school (he is in morning session), he tried initially, but gave up when he couldn't do most of the homework himself.

I had earlier submitted my application to take up part time diploma (will take up 4 nights weekly). In this case, my time spent with my son will be very limited. So I'm not sure if I should withdrew my application in order to help my son.

I am now thinking hard - if I should sacrifice my time to help my son or should I still pursue my goal to further my studies?

May I seek the advice of parents here? Thanks.

[blessed777]

Hw abt postponing yr plan for yr further study until yr son hs more confidence on himself, he needs a lot of encouragement frm someone he trust which is his own mom? U wd not be able to concentrate on yr study knowing that yr son is struggling by himself, it wd add up yr stress level hence affecting yr relationship with yr son. Try to be patient with him, my dd perform better when i encourage her rather than when i scold her. Anyway, u know yr situation better, so pray and hope for wisdom in what to decide.

[Happylady]

Hi, my opinion is- it’s very impt for us parents to give support to our children. Foundation is very impt for a kid… I think u must support him by guiding him with his hw until he’s stable doing on his own… For myself I will sit down with him during Lower pri & by P4 he’s able to do his hw himself without me calling. I think it’s very impt for you to give full support to yr kid if you want him to do well. If he did well for certain test/exam, praise him.

[happyheart]

If you have exhausted all other means (e.g your husband also work late and unable to coach) , the best option is to delay your study. Your kid needs you more now. If he continues not to do well, his confidence level will dip and it will be harder to help him by then.

[cherrygal]

If you work full time, it is very taxing to return and coach your kid while fighting against time (since he needs to sleep early). A good alternative is after-school care. They have group tuition there and the teachers will make him finish his school work. When you take him home, you can enjoy quality time with him without any worry about homework.


If you take this option, whether you put your diploma on hold or not, it’s up to you.

[jedamum]

If your purpose of part time dip is to improve the financial situation of the family, how long do u think u can delay? He is in p2 now, are u going to delay til he goes to sec sch? Is he going to student care? Can student care teachers help in sch wk? How long is your part time dip? U need to be realistic as without support, the chance of u dropping out halfway is high. What kind of help is available at home? What does your kid do while waiting for u at home?

[Kafer]

Both my kids attended sch care but i must say that it really depends on the in charge. My no.1 does not do homework at sch care. The teacher also does not bother to get him to do his work. But my no. Z had a veryteacher and my no. 2’s result is very gd.

[blessed777]

My dd classmate was in student care fr abt 3-4 yrs but unfortunately there he did not get sufficient help and his result was poor yr after year, when his parents finally decided to pull him out at p5 n hire private tutor it was already too late, there is not much can be done as his foundation is very weak n the worse is his confidence level is low n i think its even more serious than merely academic result. Student care is suitable for the kids who are independent enough in studying, not for the weak one.

[pinkycheeks]

Thanks all for your opinion and guidance.


My supervisor has been telling me to further my studies because she finds that I have the potential to go further and by upgrading I can help to lift up the financial income. If I do not further my studies now, I will never be able to do so in future (by the time I hit mid 40s if I were to wait for my 2nd son to pull through PSLE).

I'm working full time and my elder son is taken care by an Indonesian helper. Though I emphasised to my son that it is better for him to do his homework in the afternoon so that I can focus on revision at night, he will still wait for me to come back. I guess he's still not so independent yet. I asked him yesterday if he is agreeable for me to study at night, and he doesn't want me to do so. I guess this shows he needs my attention more since I couldn't be with him during day time. Sigh..

[heyhoe]

Hi pinkycheeks,


Since your son is taken care by a helper, perhaps you can consider getting a tutor to help him with his work after school. You could perhaps ask around your neighbourhood for students (whom could charge cheaper) just to guide him with his work. However, you need to monitor at least during the initial stage to ensure this tutor is willing to put in effort to guide your child.

However from what you’ve written, I can see that your child loves to have you guide him. I think this is great as it creates bonding between both of you. Children grew up very fast.