2 is enough? 2nd can wait?
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Singapore fertility rate is at all time low, but it is not unusual. Taiwan and Japan facing same problems.
How to have more kids when education is so stressful ? Can’t wait for CA/SA to be over every 10 weeks. My kids are 4 (almost 5) years apart but syllabus is so different. My younger one in P2 was taught models for Maths when her older sibling learnt it later. The Chinese exam (whole textbook of 12 chapters) yesterday had so many sections to revise. It will be a miracle if she passes it. -
For me, 1 is enough, 2nd no need wait because it would never happen. Haha
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daisyt:
For me, 1 is enough, 2nd no need wait because it would never happen. Haha
:rotflmao: :hi5:
With so many external pressure, I also will have only 1.
Got some people ask me when the 2nd one coming, tell me only have 1 kid, kid will be very lonely. I doubt my kid is lonely from the look. Always fighting toys with mummy. -
Those were the days. I was the 2nd girl in the family and the government influenced my parents not to have a little brother for me. Our next door neighbor had a 3rd child who was fined and penalized, faced difficulty in enrolling in pri school.
30 years later, they realized the mistake. But the 70s campaign is so successful that I’m stopping at 2. -
Wan:
The govt worried our parents will go on producing and producing like our grandparents' time mah. They forgot that our parents are educated and know how to plan...whether they can afford to have more kids or not. I have 'closed shop' already no matter how govt dangles goodies in front of me. The cost of bringing up 2 kids is stressful enough.
30 years later, they realized the mistake. But the 70s campaign is so successful that I'm stopping at 2. -
Wan:
Those were the days. I was the 2nd girl in the family and the government influenced my parents not to have a little brother for me. Our next door neighbor had a 3rd child who was fined and penalized, faced difficulty in enrolling in pri school.
30 years later, they realized the mistake. But the 70s campaign is so successful that I'm stopping at 2.
Mymum told me, I was having difficulty enrol to primary school because i have 2 younger brothers. She had to enrol me in the least popular school and very ironically, this least popular \"chinese turn to english\" school is top 10 primary school now. So my dd was fortunate to ride on my misfortunate. I find this so amused! -
Oppsgal:
If you're SHAM and can afford a lot of time with the kid, it is fine.daisyt:
For me, 1 is enough, 2nd no need wait because it would never happen. Haha
:rotflmao: :hi5:
With so many external pressure, I also will have only 1.
Got some people ask me when the 2nd one coming, tell me only have 1 kid, kid will be very lonely. I doubt my kid is lonely from the look. Always fighting toys with mummy.
But if both parents are working, and both parents might want some private or personal time to themselves, then, the single child might get very lonely when the parents have no time for him/her. It would be better to have a sibling.
With kids or not, couple needs some romance or private time together.
If the hubby never expect the wifey to spend private time together (like going on a date, watch movies etc..).. w/o the kids.. then, I feel, something could be very wrong in the r/s.. maybe the man got ECAs outside hence no need the wifey to keep him \"company\".....? -
limlim:
If you're SHAM and can afford a lot of time with the kid, it is fine.Oppsgal:
[quote=\"daisyt\"]For me, 1 is enough, 2nd no need wait because it would never happen. Haha
:rotflmao: :hi5:
With so many external pressure, I also will have only 1.
Got some people ask me when the 2nd one coming, tell me only have 1 kid, kid will be very lonely. I doubt my kid is lonely from the look. Always fighting toys with mummy.
But if both parents are working, and both parents might want some private or personal time to themselves, then, the single child might get very lonely when the parents have no time for him/her. It would be better to have a sibling.
With kids or not, couple needs some romance or private time together.
If the hubby never expect the wifey to spend private time together (like going on a date, watch movies etc..).. w/o the kids.. then, I feel, something could be very wrong in the r/s.. maybe the man got ECAs outside hence no need the wifey to keep him \"company\".....?[/quote]Might not be anything wrong if never go on a date or watch movies. Could be overstress working, no time to go date. -
Once kids come along, it’s hard to find couple time when kids are very young. My couple-time with hubby now is after dropping off son for tuition and we drink coffee while waiting. Or else we go supermarket to get groceries. 2 hours only before rushing back to pick him.
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Oppsgal:
Consider that, say, both got a day off.. if got siblings, can just leave them with grandparents or caregiver and go dating.. :evil: They can fight with each other or have each other as company.
Might not be anything wrong if never go on a date or watch movies. Could be overstress working, no time to go date.
If single kid.. the parents would feel guilty not keeping the kid company as the kid will be all alone if no bring him/her along. -
Quite true limlim.
If only child, the guilt is always there...parents will try to spend time with child. But if there are 2, then parents can either keep them at home with the maid or deposit them with grandparents. They either fight or play with one another.
My daughter plays guns with older bro :faint: Fortunately she is still crazy over girl stuff and loves pink. They fight like crazy but make up soon after. -
limlim:
No guilt for us. My kid learns to be alone in bedroom do own things-jumping on bed or play toys, while we do our own things like housework or whatever.
Consider that, say, both got a day off.. if got siblings, can just leave them with grandparents or caregiver and go dating.. :evil: They can fight with each other or have each other as company.Oppsgal:
Might not be anything wrong if never go on a date or watch movies. Could be overstress working, no time to go date.
If single kid.. the parents would feel guilty not keeping the kid company as the kid will be all alone if no bring him/her along.
Probably my kid can grow up faster?
Leaving my kid with grandparents only like about 1 hour-2hours every alternate weeks and we are around nearby them or go walk about shopping. -
Not everyone got maid or grandparents to help care for kids.
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Oppsgal:
Not everyone got maid or grandparents to help care for kids.
This is quite true...not everyone has maid. Even if there is a maid, one cannot guarantee she is reliable. My prev 2 maids went :siao: every month or so. Not everyone has reliable in-laws either. Which is why it is hard to have more kids. -
janet_lee88:
Maybe the 1st and 2nd kids could be 10++ years different in age so elder kid can look after younger one since more mature :? But then again, will be a risk.Oppsgal:
Not everyone got maid or grandparents to help care for kids.
This is quite true...not everyone has maid. Even if there is a maid, one cannot guarantee she is reliable. My prev 2 maids went :siao: every month or so. Not everyone has reliable in-laws either. Which is why it is hard to have more kids. -
limlim:
Consider that, say, both got a day off.. if got siblings, can just leave them with grandparents or caregiver and go dating.. :evil: They can fight with each other or have each other as company.
If both kids squabble a lot, nobody is interested to stand in as caregiver while parents go on a date le. Caregiver buay tahan the noise level :faint: -
janet_lee88:
Once kids come along, it's hard to find couple time when kids are very young. My couple-time with hubby now is after dropping off son for tuition and we drink coffee while waiting. Or else we go supermarket to get groceries. 2 hours only before rushing back to pick him.
True, I noticed I get to spend more time with dh when kids are older.
I arranged dd1's tuition on a Friday afternoon and dd2 is in afternoon session. So dh and I can have late lunch & catch a movie every alternate week. No need babysitter -
sleepy:
How old is consider older?janet_lee88:
Once kids come along, it's hard to find couple time when kids are very young. My couple-time with hubby now is after dropping off son for tuition and we drink coffee while waiting. Or else we go supermarket to get groceries. 2 hours only before rushing back to pick him.
True, I noticed I get to spend more time with dh when kids are older.
I arranged dd1's tuition on a Friday afternoon and dd2 is in afternoon session. So dh and I can have late lunch & catch a movie every alternate week. No need babysitterGuess I have to wait patiently.
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Oppsgal:
How old is consider older?
Guess I have to wait patiently.
Mid primary level onwards. How old is yours? -
I quite agree with this article about low fertility rate in western ans asia countries.
http://www.zaobao.com.sg/yl/tx120509_001.shtml
沈越:日本生育率的探讨
(2012-05-09)
上个月,日本最大的经济团体,经团连旗下的21世纪政策研究所预测,日本国内生产总值发展前景不乐观,若不采取有效的经济增长战略,日本将在2050年之前退出世界经济先进国行列。引发这个问题的罪魁祸首是日本出生人口的减少。因为这会导致市场缩小、劳动人口减少、以及老龄化问题日趋严重。
生育率落后于欧美
生育率缩水,跌破人口自然替代平衡点的2.1,困扰了许多发达国家。浅白的解释是,发达国家的年轻人,特别是女性,接受高等教育,在职场里为事业打拼,而选择迟婚迟育和少育。这个解释在过去行得通,而且被认为是生育率下降的关键因素。
但是,近几年来许多欧美发达国家的生育率回升,十分接近或已超过人口自然替代水平,证明不管是高等教育普及率还是女性劳动参与率,都不一定会影响生育率。以英国为例,女性的劳动参与率和大学升学率与男性相比,分别是男性的80%和102%,然而英格兰和威尔士近十年来的生育率从1.7增至1.95。美国的女性劳动参与率和大学升学率,分别是男性的81%和101%,过去十年的生育率保持在2.06。
再看法国,女性的劳动参与率和大学升学率分别是男性比81%和94%,近十年来的生育率从1.75增至去年的1.96。反观日本,女性劳动参与率是上述发达国家中最低的,只有男性比67%,女性大学升学率也只比法国高,是男性的97%,但生育率却比这些国家差了一大截,2010年的数字为1.39,让人匪夷所思。
造成生育率差异的因素有很多,被人广为理解的,应该是福利。譬如,法国是典型的欧式福利国家,拥有一套相对健全的社会保障制度。儿童上幼儿园和中小学是免费的,公立大学的学费也低廉,每年是几百至一千多欧元左右。虽然这种高福利社会保障为法国政府增添了不少的财政负担,但它对于生儿育女来说,无疑是一件好事。
可是日本的社会福利并不差,甚至比欧美更好。日本国民医疗保险覆盖率几乎占100%,被誉为是世界之最。日本也实施九年义务教育。为了提高生育率,日本政府也是用心良苦,出尽法宝。单在鼓励人们多生育的儿童抚养津贴这一环,日本政府就下足了本钱。有孩子的家庭,从孩子一出生,便可获得每月5000至1万5000日元(约80至230新元)不等的津贴,直到孩子中学毕业。
日本政府也通过经团连,激励团体属下1600个大企业,多让职员花时间陪伴家人,创造生育机会。地方政府也没闲着,创立官方婚介网站、或给予大家庭购物优惠券和折扣。丰厚的福利,却不见生育率有显著改善。鼓励生育政策不及欧美开放
其实,日本鼓励生育的政策,与英美法之间有关键性的不同。那就是,日本有关的公共政策是围绕着传统家庭,日本社会视婚姻为生儿育女的前提条件。
而在一些欧美发达国家,生儿育女的形式已在近30年发生剧变,结婚生子的传统模式,不再是绝对。这些国家的女性经济独立,有些不想受婚姻束缚,却想有自己的孩子。据美国国家卫生统计中心2009年的调查,瑞典、挪威、冰岛和法国的非婚生子人数占总新生儿一半以上;丹麦、英国、美国和荷兰,非婚生子新生儿则有四成以上。这些国家不约而同的共通点是,妇女生育率介于1.7至2.1。
在日本,非婚生子的比例在过去30年间没有显著变化,占极小数,是总出生人口的2%,也就是两万人左右。但是,日本人口统计资料显示,堕胎在日本十分普遍。虽不及许多其他亚洲发达国家和地区,但日本每年平均的堕胎手术超过20万次,占新生儿总数的两成,这还不包括那些未申报的堕胎手术。而因胎儿有先天缺陷或因强暴受孕而堕胎的个案每年只有千多起。
选择堕胎的日本女性中,比例最高的并非20岁以下的未成年少女,而是20至24岁的年轻女性。每1000名这个年龄层的日本女性中,就有15人会堕胎。若以目前日本女性平均初婚年龄为29岁来推算,很多选择堕胎的年轻女性应该是未婚女子。可以肯定的是,除了鼓励年轻人结婚生子以及已婚夫妇多生育,若能有效减少堕胎,日本的生育率可以提高。
年轻未婚女性不想生育是情有可原。社会的异样眼光、沉重的经济负担和生活方式的改变,是阻碍她们生下孩子的重要因素。八成以上的日本单亲母亲必须工作,但七成的年收入不达200万日元(约3万1200新元)。在30多个经济合作与发展组织成员国中,日本有薪单亲母亲的贫困率是最高的。她们普遍是非正规员工,只能赚取低薪。
在日本现有的制度下,非婚生子与婚内生子的待遇,也有差别。虽然非婚生子有权获得儿童抚养津贴,但他们的出生纸和户籍上都会显示这样的身份。此外,同样属于单亲家庭,育有孩子的丧偶女子可获27万日元(约4200新元)的税金回扣,但未婚生育的女子却没资格。其他实质或非实质上的差别待遇,还包括未婚母亲的职场福利和育儿假期,等等。在这样的环境中,未婚先孕的年轻女性最明智的选择就是堕胎,躲避风险。从女性的观点来看,政策上的差别对待,可扭曲一部分女性的生育决定。但做政策决定的,却多数是男性。
当然,这些政策上的差别对待可能是出自决策者有意识的考量。因为日本作为一个亚洲国家,传统的家庭价值观念依然强烈,国情与欧美发达国家的情况有明显分别。况且提高生育率的最终目的,是为国家提供拥有良好品格的高效劳动力。在单亲家庭中生长的孩子,常被视为更易产生焦虑、抑郁、敌对等心理障碍,因此鼓励结婚生育不是没有道理。生育政策涉及国家长远的人口战略,应注重其连续性和稳定性,不能草率。在两难的情况下,日本或许能做的就是,在保持亚洲传统家庭价值的同时,给予未婚母亲平等的福利。