Growing old
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According to me it’s difficult question to reply…Because for us the lives of both is equally important…So i wish that i would never experience this kind of situation ever…
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Han Seo:
prancingpony:
I asked my one and only 15 year old child/son whether he will take care of and live with me if I am alone. He says see how and what his wife says!!!! My dh says he's too young and i should not be bothered by the answer!
Sorry if I sound offensive but I think this is emotional blackmail.
Taking care of you does not mean he has to live with you, right?
Haha! It does sound like emotional blackmail, doesn't it? My dh thinks so too. And yes, i would have liked him to live with me. Shameful isn't it? But after reading all the other posts i am encouraged to be brave! Thank you everyone! Now i think i would rather be in my own place and have the freedom to invite my friends over than have my future dil making a face! But of course, i hope for a kind daughter-in-law lah. Too much to ask if we live in the same block?? -
prancingpony:
Too much to ask if we live in the same block??
not if they need u to babysit/childcare/student care their kids!
i have a family and their parents staying at opposite ends of the corridor.
the kid goes to the grandparents house after school and walks back home past our unit when his parents knocks off.
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jedamum:
prancingpony:
Too much to ask if we live in the same block??
not if they need u to babysit/childcare/student care their kids!
i have a family and their parents staying at opposite ends of the corridor. the kid goes to the grandparents house after school and walks back home past our unit when his parents knocks off.
Great arrangement huh?! That would make me the happiest mother and grandmama! -
prancingpony:
jedamum:
[quote=\"prancingpony\"] Too much to ask if we live in the same block??
not if they need u to babysit/childcare/student care their kids!
i have a family and their parents staying at opposite ends of the corridor. the kid goes to the grandparents house after school and walks back home past our unit when his parents knocks off.
Great arrangement huh?! That would make me the happiest mother and grandmama![/quote]agree.lol.
my MIL's neighbour has been eyeing her unit (pte pty) and told her that they will be interested to buy if MIL wants to sell. they want it for their son (who is late teens i think!) lol. -
When I’m old I’d like to be great friends with my kids, whether or not they live with me or give me money every month. I’d like to be able to share with them and they with me our heart thoughts; cry and laugh, be sad and happy together.
Filial piety has been a strong Asian value which we are proud of. I embrace this value, but I have also thoughts about what if my children gives me money, stay with me, bring me on holiday but we hardly sit down to talk about our day, feelings, decisions that we want to make in life etc… I would like to have a strong, communicating relationship with my kids when they grow up than living under the same roof yet seldom talk.
My parents live with us now and we have 3 kids, 8 pax in one house including our helper. My dad drives a taxi as he doesn’t want to burden us, my mom goes marketing and cooks for us (parental love). I love to see them play with my kids. I also sit in my mom’s room and chat with her sometimes. I long to go out and have a cup of coffee with my dad and hear him talk about his childhood, courtship, happy moments and regrets in life but have not found that courage to do so yet. When I get to do it I’ll come back here to share how it went… -
you’re right, sianonehalf, about living under one roof with our parents, giving money and yet not talking much. My mother is well into her golden years and has been with me all her life. I’d like to think that i have been a good daughter to her, taking care of her needs, bringing her out and making sure she’s comfortable. But i have to admit and ashame to say that before, sometimes, when I am in the house, I do not sit with her and she’s all by herself. I can be cooped up in my room doing my own things the whole day. The realisation comes when my own son stays in his room and I am left to myself. So now, if there are things that I can do with her beside me - like sewing or cleaning up my drawers or mails - I bring them close and sit with her. We may not be talking much but I can sense she finds comfort in having someone with her.
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This is an interesting topic. I only have daughters le
Anyway, I think my MIL now believe sons are 泼出去的水 because both her sons live near their in-laws instead of her. My brother also live near his in-law. My mum is super polite to my sister-in-law although she will complain a little to me in private but definitely dare not offend her daughter in law
I don't have such luck though. My MIL is very critical of me unfortunately (mainly because I'm not working) so whatever I said, harmless remarks, also get misinterpreted. It's a huge relief to me to live further away now :evil: We do visit her regularly. However, each visit she still managed to find something to be displeased with :nailbite: -
prancingpony:
you're right, sianonehalf, about living under one roof with our parents, giving money and yet not talking much. My mother is well into her golden years and has been with me all her life. I'd like to think that i have been a good daughter to her, taking care of her needs, bringing her out and making sure she's comfortable. But i have to admit and ashame to say that before, sometimes, when I am in the house, I do not sit with her and she's all by herself. I can be cooped up in my room doing my own things the whole day. The realisation comes when my own son stays in his room and I am left to myself. So now, if there are things that I can do with her beside me - like sewing or cleaning up my drawers or mails - I bring them close and sit with her. We may not be talking much but I can sense she finds comfort in having someone with her.
that is soo touching, prancingpony . Small pleasures of life.
When your son sees this often, he will imbibe it too. And if he likes it maybe once in a way , he can spend his time too with her doing his thing. -
When you get older, it’s not having more money that matters. Companionship becomes more important. I would love to have my mom around so that we can sit and chat like when you are with your friends.
My mom is now my confidant, mother, counsellor and cooking khaki.
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