Move in with MIL?

[octoberbaby]

The house registered under whose name?

[chenwj]

What is your hubby's opinion? My mum and wifey hold different values in certain matters, and they have different ways to do house chores (i.e: one insists to hand wash socks, another insists socks can be washed by washing machine ). To be under the same household daily can be trying for the man if anything between the 2 woman escalates.


If I were you, I would sacrifice the convenience and keep the status quo.

[janet88]

chenwj:

What is your hubby's opinion? My mum and wifey hold different values in certain matters, and they have different ways to do house chores (i.e: one insists to hand wash socks, another insists socks can be washed by washing machine ). To be under the same household daily can be trying for the man if anything between the 2 woman escalates.


If I were you, I would sacrifice the convenience and keep the status quo.

:goodpost:
Trivial issues can kill...it is not possible to have 2 tigresses in ONE household. To keep sanity, it's best to forgo convenience.

[chenwj]

janet_lee88:

chenwj:

What is your hubby's opinion? My mum and wifey hold different values in certain matters, and they have different ways to do house chores (i.e: one insists to hand wash socks, another insists socks can be washed by washing machine ). To be under the same household daily can be trying for the man if anything between the 2 woman escalates.


If I were you, I would sacrifice the convenience and keep the status quo.

:goodpost:
Trivial issues can kill...it is not possible to have 2 tigresses in ONE household. To keep sanity, it's best to forgo convenience.

i clarify first hor..im not saying my wifey is tigressssss hor... :yikes: :scared:

:siam:

LOL

u know..let me try an analogy: the different values between mum and wife are like the small cut on your skin. So they don't meet daily, don't stay together. The small cut heals after 4-5 days.

But staying together, meet daily.. it is like the small cut never get any chance to heal. it reopens daily until it gets an infection and u might see pus. Have to go hospital...etc...etc..

[janet88]

I have to give my hubby face…if I am fierce with his mother, he will be upset…so I keep quiet most of the time in his presence…even though his mother tests my patience. But my eldest SIL is different. She has authority. So I let her run the show. The old one is pissed bcos she is told what to do and tries to get sympathy. I don’t want to care bcos given a chance, the old one will stab my back…again.

[mummychua]

chenwj:

janet_lee88:

[quote=\"chenwj\"]What is your hubby's opinion? My mum and wifey hold different values in certain matters, and they have different ways to do house chores (i.e: one insists to hand wash socks, another insists socks can be washed by washing machine ). To be under the same household daily can be trying for the man if anything between the 2 woman escalates.


If I were you, I would sacrifice the convenience and keep the status quo.

:goodpost:
Trivial issues can kill...it is not possible to have 2 tigresses in ONE household. To keep sanity, it's best to forgo convenience.

i clarify first hor..im not saying my wifey is tigressssss hor... :yikes: :scared:

:siam:

LOL

u know..let me try an analogy: the different values between mum and wife are like the small cut on your skin. So they don't meet daily, don't stay together. The small cut heals after 4-5 days.

But staying together, meet daily.. it is like the small cut never get any chance to heal. it reopens daily until it gets an infection and u might see pus. Have to go hospital...etc...etc..[/quote] :goodpost:

[mummychua]

octoberbaby:

The house registered under whose name?

its registered under my MIL but my dh paid for it but its considered as mil place. for the year when im staying with her, i treat myself as guest. never intrude her kitchen, nv tried to rearrange, nv try to change the way she do things. always try to make myself invisible. only speak when needed. try not to stay at hm when dh is not at hm.

but she not happy with the way i treat her son. like i force my dh to wash plates, do simple household chores which he had nv done before marriage.

[mummychua]

chenwj:

What is your hubby's opinion? My mum and wifey hold different values in certain matters, and they have different ways to do house chores (i.e: one insists to hand wash socks, another insists socks can be washed by washing machine ). To be under the same household daily can be trying for the man if anything between the 2 woman escalates.


If I were you, I would sacrifice the convenience and keep the status quo.

dh will always stand on my side no matter what. but i try my best to avoid conflict with mil so not to put my hb in spot. if i got any problem with mil, i will get hb to talk to her. so he's become the bad guy, not me. of course mil will know that its my complain but cannot do anything to me. :evil:

at the moment i try to maintain status quo, but dont know how long it can last...

[octoberbaby]

mummychua:

octoberbaby:

The house registered under whose name?

its registered under my MIL but my dh paid for it but its considered as mil place. for the year when im staying with her, i treat myself as guest. never intrude her kitchen, nv tried to rearrange, nv try to change the way she do things. always try to make myself invisible. only speak when needed. try not to stay at hm when dh is not at hm.

but she not happy with the way i treat her son. like i force my dh to wash plates, do simple household chores which he had nv done before marriage.

Hmm, this is difficult because you are consider as an outsider liao.

It is a domestic issue which can be solve by employing a maid. Re-arranging, touching her things will upset further MIL.

You hubby does simple household chores which he had never done befor marriage. This shows that he doesn't want to upset his mum, and he loves you.

[kw88]

I would suggest that if that if there are other alternatives, try not to stay with in laws. It is never easy. I've been staying with my in laws since I got married 17 years ago and I'm amazed that I'm still sane :evil: Throughout these years, most quarrels I have had with my hb is abt his mum. He is the only son and is super fillial to his mum.

Sometimes when two women live under the same roof, a simple act of doing laundry or washing the dishes could trigger a war. Men cannot understand our feelings and will always ask the wife not to take issues with the elderly and so we can only feel frustrated.

Now after so many years I'm not on speaking terms with my MIL and sometimes I felt so sad and wonder if things would have been better if we had not stayed together in the first place.