Extra Marital Affair
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Not sure if DH is straying, he still treats me well. However, in the last few months, he had came home after 3pm (3 times) with smoke and tint of perfume smell on him/clothes. Twice I found some marks on him....tho I'm not sure if it's really what I think (self-denial perhaps)
Confronted him in a joking manner. He would 'entertain' me for ~5mins after which he would get frustrated & irritated when I probe more. I'm feeling rather lost now......what do I want? can I handle the truth if he had really cheated on me? Being rather traditional, I would probably push him away once I know he has touched someone else......
I dunno if he's angry/irritated with me >>for not trusting him or >> he's guilty and trying to hide.
I dun drink and tho I know smoke will get onto the clothes and hair in air-con places, but perfume? And the perfume smell is only found on certain spots on him/clothes which make me all the more suspicious and going :siao: thinking about it.
Any advice?
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Jason_lim:
Vet thru the past few thread on EMA, seems like it is the husband who is straying, is there any guys out there who has a straying spouse? Would like to hear how you handle the situation.
Y not, there are many gals out there who do it also. -
verylost:
Think what u mean is 3AM!Not sure if DH is straying, he still treats me well. However, in the last few months, he had came home after 3pm (3 times) with smoke and tint of perfume smell on him/clothes. Twice I found some marks on him....tho I'm not sure if it's really what I think (self-denial perhaps)
Confronted him in a joking manner. He would 'entertain' me for ~5mins after which he would get frustrated & irritated when I probe more. I'm feeling rather lost now......what do I want? can I handle the truth if he had really cheated on me? Being rather traditional, I would probably push him away once I know he has touched someone else......
I dunno if he's angry/irritated with me >>for not trusting him or >> he's guilty and trying to hide.
I dun drink and tho I know smoke will get onto the clothes and hair in air-con places, but perfume? And the perfume smell is only found on certain spots on him/clothes which make me all the more suspicious and going :siao: thinking about it.
Any advice?
What sort of marks? Love bite? Lip Stick? -
verylost:
I am not in the position to give advice.Not sure if DH is straying, he still treats me well. However, in the last few months, he had came home after 3pm (3 times) with smoke and tint of perfume smell on him/clothes. Twice I found some marks on him....tho I'm not sure if it's really what I think (self-denial perhaps)
Confronted him in a joking manner. He would 'entertain' me for ~5mins after which he would get frustrated & irritated when I probe more. I'm feeling rather lost now......what do I want? can I handle the truth if he had really cheated on me? Being rather traditional, I would probably push him away once I know he has touched someone else......
I dunno if he's angry/irritated with me >>for not trusting him or >> he's guilty and trying to hide.
I dun drink and tho I know smoke will get onto the clothes and hair in air-con places, but perfume? And the perfume smell is only found on certain spots on him/clothes which make me all the more suspicious and going :siao: thinking about it.
Any advice?
Just that in my opinion, sometimes spouse stray not because of a pull factor (by the 3rd party) but of push factor (something lacking or unhappiness at home), and of course sometimes it is a combination of both.
Constantly questioning or raising doubts can be pushing him further, rather than pull him back.
Is he one that is likely to stray? -
Dear All,
Just wish to find support here… Reading thru all the EMA that we as wife have to accept, forgive and forget is really a torturing thing. I can understand all who have gone thru this, as I am going thru it myself now… Its really hurtful… for guys who are reading my post, sincerely wish and hope that as a man take care of ur lawful wife well, they are only the one who will love u, treat you good, and hold ur hands till ur last breath. but if u choose to betray them, u may not have a good ending too.
I had a very hard time standing up from my DH EMA. This is not the first time he fling, but normally what I caught is always sms and phone calls. Recently for half a year, he has always been out late, nv ending entertainment with colleagues. Whenever I call or sms it will forever be missed call and no returns. Ever check his mobile and saw him and the girl hugging together tightly and tell me its normal… My heart really aches. Telling me it was my fault on not able to communicate with him, so he find someone who he is comfortable with to talk with. but talking does it have to be so close? Recently, I really cannot take the blow anymore. Went to engage PI and true enough I caught them having an affair… Engaging a lawyer now to proceed with divorce.
I just dun understand, I have started to change away what ever he dun like becoz of the marriage, but he dun seems appreciating and still went to stray outside. Giving all the same excuse as some of others who encounter it here…
Now I have tell myself, its time to let go… one day he will regret from it… coz once we woman have concrete prove on hand. they will be doom…
Girls, be strong… I know its not easy for us, and especially we still have a kid to take care of… but always remember to protect ourselfs if they no longer protect us. Get PI to have ur concrete prove and they will have to pay for the price of being unfaithful. If prove of adultery, ur PI fees and lawyer fee is fully claimable from the heartless man… So nv save for them, they are the one who fail us…
Still struggling very hard to accept and to move on… Hope to find people here who are the having the same problem here and able to support each other to go thru this hard time…
I tell myself, I will survive… He will regret… -
hi urgenthelp,
not only will you survive, you are definitely going to have a better life without him. he is the liability, not you.
:rahrah: :rahrah: :rahrah:
i wish we would have a law here to enable us to sue the third party for breaking up marriages. :mad:
this song for you........
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZBR2G-iI3-I -
LOLmum,
I did check with my lawyer, she will be summon to court too… But she is a china worker… I dunno what court will do to her… I did tell my lawyer I want to repatriate her back, but lawyer say she did not commit adultery, is my DH commit. she will just be send to court coz she is the co-defendent. But PI says can, they will help me raise a report to MOM and she will be investigate, most likely out of SG forever coz she is not suppose to commit this under her WP regulations… Kind of confuse too…
But am just worried, dunno in future my maintainence will be also having a hard time… coz he will nv save and always anyhow spend… reading thru the forum just now, seems like alot of ex-wifes find it hard to claim alimony and maintainence…
anyone going thru this and can share experience what if ex dun pay?
thanks. -
Hi OrangeBelt,
Dun mind can you pls PM me the contact for your PI and the lawyer as well as the cost incurr ?
Am having the same situation. I’m vey very heart pain as DH lie to me again.
He tell me the relationship with her is few years back and they are no more contact.
But this morning i saw a sms that he send the "that" woman to say that he will stand by her side until "that day" coming and he will always love her…
My heart broken , seems like no point th keep this marriage anymore although i am still love him very much…
thanks in advance -
Hey insider,
Thanks for the share. Broken family has been around lately. I,for one is a product of it. Though, I’ve been in my entire life. I’ve always adore my mom for being so brave. Their story is different from yours thus my mom did try to forgive and forget my dad. But, the extra marital affairs occurred more than many. That my mom finally decide to let go.
We are happy now, and I believe my dad too (with his other family). -
Sad & scary that there are soooo many EMA these days.
Make me kinda worried too. Ladies who are/had experienced it, be strong. It’s always easy for one to say…but still until one has a personal experience, we can only encourage you to stay strong.
Hope you can share what are the warning signs…
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