All About Working With Children Who Are Weak Academically
-
concernmother:
Maybe she needs more guidance in time management than tuition per se. You have to sit down with her to help her look through her weekly schedule, and you may even need to go through each subject with her to see which are the areas that she needs help with. It sounds to me like she is totally overwhelmed and lost and hence give up halfway ie she has the intention but not the roadmap. Jiayu!Thanks Cherrygal, mummy of three, ksi, kwcllf. Thanks for the advises. Got her tuition for some subjects. Hopefully she will buck up and catch up with her work. Funny thing is that, she has the intention to do well but her will-power is not strong enough. She will come home with the intention of doing so and so HW, revise so and so subjects. However, only half done at the end of the day. She knows she has to set a timetable and she knows well that she has to set a target.....but...
-
ammonite:
Yup, looks to me you will have to handhold her for a start to get her into the habit of making and sticking to a schedule.
Maybe she needs more guidance in time management than tuition per se. You have to sit down with her to help her look through her weekly schedule, and you may even need to go through each subject with her to see which are the areas that she needs help with. It sounds to me like she is totally overwhelmed and lost and hence give up halfway ie she has the intention but not the roadmap. Jiayu!concernmother:
Thanks Cherrygal, mummy of three, ksi, kwcllf. Thanks for the advises. Got her tuition for some subjects. Hopefully she will buck up and catch up with her work. Funny thing is that, she has the intention to do well but her will-power is not strong enough. She will come home with the intention of doing so and so HW, revise so and so subjects. However, only half done at the end of the day. She knows she has to set a timetable and she knows well that she has to set a target.....but...
-
Concern mother,
Since she is involved in church, she can volunteer for missions trips.
It will be an eye opener to her and she will be involved in the great commission as well.
I feel in life, ev1 must hv a purpose, only then will life be meaningful.
I suppose teenagers lack this direction cos they dun noe wat life is abt outside of their own world. Encourage her to get out of her comfort zone and challenge herself. -
concernmother:
That is her personality. Even she has no CCA that week, she will be doing her work leisurely. There is no urgency in her. She will be tweeting, sms because her friends are doing so too.
Does anyone have this problem? Or is it me alone?
Stressconcernmother:
her will-power is not strong enough. She will come home with the intention of doing so and so HW, revise so and so subjects. However, only half done at the end of the day. She knows she has to set a timetable and she knows well that she has to set a target.....but...
Confirmed it's personality. My dd1 is exactly the same. So I can totally empathise with your frustration.
She has no sense of urgency or concept of time. Idle away whatever spare time she has. From the moment I fetch her from school till the time she actually sat down at her desk to start doing homework, she needs a minimum of 3.5 hours! Everything is done in sloooooow motion. If I rush her, she said I'm causing her excessive stress & then she cried. End up I'm the bad guy :mad:
I don't have a solution yet. I've tried every single method I can think of since she was in preschool. And she's p4 now. I forsee I will continue to struggle. 'Carrot' doesn't work at all. So I'm moving to sticks now.
'Sticks' I have in place:
No TV. No computer. Cannot play iphone games.
I even opt her out of CCA. And I'm very selective about external enrichments because once she steps out of the house, she will take an extremely long time to settle down to study again. -
concernmother:
Thanks Cherrygal, mummy of three, ksi, kwcllf. Thanks for the advises. Got her tuition for some subjects. Hopefully she will buck up and catch up with her work. Funny thing is that, she has the intention to do well but her will-power is not strong enough. She will come home with the intention of doing so and so HW, revise so and so subjects. However, only half done at the end of the day. She knows she has to set a timetable and she knows well that she has to set a target.....but...
If it's will-power and self-discipline that is the problem, you can help her by setting a strict routine and makeing sure she sticks to it. Some kids master this earlier but some take longer. I have one girl who only managed to be more disciplined around Sec 1 despite all my efforts, while my other one was doing fine by P1! Since she is already in sec school, get her to sit down with you and draw up the plan, and also agree on the 'carrots and sticks'. Eg. No PC/TV/HP until the work is done (switch them off and have them out of sight), or only for very specific purposes like checking for updates from teachers or project partners. But give her additional 'fun' time if she finishes early. Get her to use timers to set study periods of 30-40 mins with rest periods of 5-10 mins in between, and be very strict. Once she has got into the habit and sees that she is completing work and doing better, she will be able to take charge for herself. -
concernmother:
Hi concernmother, can understand your frustration. I wonder whether she is also like that when she was in Primary School. If the reply is yes, then she has yet to master how to discipline and manage her time or ability to execute her goal/plan skillfully. Perhaps you has to help her in these areas. Like what other parents suggest, limit her time/activity that distract or 'eat' up her study time. Motivate her by planning a schedule together. Maybe be around when she is doing her tasks. Remove all things that can distract her before she starts her school work. Share and talk about life experience and goal. If need help in improving grade, then engage tutor if self study cannot really help, this will give her confidence and help her to pay attention in her study.Thanks Cherrygal, mummy of three, ksi, kwcllf. Thanks for the advises. Got her tuition for some subjects. Hopefully she will buck up and catch up with her work. Funny thing is that, she has the intention to do well but her will-power is not strong enough. She will come home with the intention of doing so and so HW, revise so and so subjects. However, only half done at the end of the day. She knows she has to set a timetable and she knows well that she has to set a target.....but...
Guess you all are right. Probably she is too comfortable, don't know what is hardship. But i have seen children, who come from comfortable home, wealthy family, doing very well on their own and very focus. Why my kid is not like this?
So many times I want to give up. But sigh....mother nature..so difficult to do that.
For you, perhaps you can get some 'tips' by watching this Korea drama \"God of Study\". This drama can be a source of inspiration for certain type of students and parents as well. -
ammonite:
I would love to sit down and guide her. But she never has time for me, that is, she will spend a lot of time doing her homework and leave no time for me....
Maybe she needs more guidance in time management than tuition per se. You have to sit down with her to help her look through her weekly schedule, and you may even need to go through each subject with her to see which are the areas that she needs help with. It sounds to me like she is totally overwhelmed and lost and hence give up halfway ie she has the intention but not the roadmap. Jiayu!concernmother:
Thanks Cherrygal, mummy of three, ksi, kwcllf. Thanks for the advises. Got her tuition for some subjects. Hopefully she will buck up and catch up with her work. Funny thing is that, she has the intention to do well but her will-power is not strong enough. She will come home with the intention of doing so and so HW, revise so and so subjects. However, only half done at the end of the day. She knows she has to set a timetable and she knows well that she has to set a target.....but...
sigh..... -
Thank you all for your advises. I guess i have to spend more time on her in this area. However, she is very stubborn and always think she is right. so this can be tough. I guess i spoon feed her a lot in Primary School. I was the one who reminded her to do tuition HW, study ting xie…when she was in Pri School. So I guess this is the consequences…
-
concernmother:
Thank you all for your advises. I guess i have to spend more time on her in this area. However, she is very stubborn and always think she is right. so this can be tough. I guess i spoon feed her a lot in Primary School. I was the one who reminded her to do tuition HW, study ting xie....when she was in Pri School. So I guess this is the consequences....
Yes, we parents gotta learn to let go earlier in order for our kids to be more independant.
This year, I told DD who is in P3 that I will not be reminding her about her spelling, tingxie and homework. She will have to track them herself and maintain her grades. If she forgets about them and does badly, privileges will be withdrawn. She is still trying to get the hang of it and I am still trying to stop myself from reminding her. -
Funz:
Some kids might require more reminders, but irregardless I believe we should learn to let go earlier and let kids understand the meaning of consequences. Also, to some extend, we also need to let kids understand 'authority' of the school teacher. On many occasions, I feel that many parents tend to challenge and override the school teachers so much so that kids do not fear/respect the teacher enough to 'bother'.concernmother:
Thank you all for your advises. I guess i have to spend more time on her in this area. However, she is very stubborn and always think she is right. so this can be tough. I guess i spoon feed her a lot in Primary School. I was the one who reminded her to do tuition HW, study ting xie....when she was in Pri School. So I guess this is the consequences....
Yes, we parents gotta learn to let go earlier in order for our kids to be more independant.
This year, I told DD who is in P3 that I will not be reminding her about her spelling, tingxie and homework. She will have to track them herself and maintain her grades. If she forgets about them and does badly, privileges will be withdrawn. She is still trying to get the hang of it and I am still trying to stop myself from reminding her.
My 2 kids started taking care of their own school work since P2 (ie. I started to slowly let go from P1). They pack their own bag, track their own schoolwork/spelling etc. They are also responsible for taking out their consent forms/work/spelling etc for my signature. In the event they forget to bring anything to school, I will only make a special trip selectively for those really really important. The rest, they have to face the music and get punished/scolded by teachers. No form of protection from my end (errrhhh....i belong to old era....teacher big, pls listen to teacher 95% of the time).
Did the same by setting up system for their sch uniforms/socks etc....no more mad rush for me. Used to get all their items ready and put on their bed for them. Then I am the blur kind, keep forgetting which day PE uniform, forget to bring socks/hanky/panty etc...and the child would be shouting for his/her stuff. P3 onwards, they just wake, wash up and go to their wardrobe to collect whatever they need for the day.... (which means they must know their day schedule). Each is responsible for their own.
Start earlier....there will be teething issues initially, but think would be beneficial for all.