All About Working With Children Who Are Weak Academically
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missk:
My preschool son is reluctant to do his work independently... And I don't want to spend all my little time with him stressed over hmwork at night (yes, he has homework). I would rather spend time playing with him to develop his social skills and thinking skills. Does anyone have a tutor to recommend for a child like mine? Need one who can handle my active, and cheeky child
What level is your child in preschool? N2, K1 or K2? Is it daily or wkly homework?
For my K2 ds, I will stay with him a little while and then tell him I will come back to chk shortly. I do not expect him to do his work totally on his own in K2. I chk on him periodically to make sure he is still on track. The work done is for spelling and tingxie. He will practise writing the words/characters.
It takes a while to establish a routine. So take it one step at a time. For my dd1 who is in P2 she's getting better at proactively taking out her homework and getting them done on her own. I too spent some time to help establish a routine with her. -
Hi concernmother,
I believe you are never alone. As far as a mother can do, educate and guide a child;we can only do our best. As parents, we always want the best for them and want protect them however if they need to fall in order to climb a mountain then probably we need to be prepared? Because human’s nature learn by the hard way. You might want to try her reading some self-help books? Perhaps she will turn out fine in other ways? Since she goes to church, do you? Pray then. -
Just to share my story. My boy Mathematics dropped when he was in P3 onwards. His became the borderline score, only once in a blue moon when it hits 60, I can really put up firecrackers that sort.
Initially, I thought he was simply not putting in the effort, and nag and nag at him, bought him 3 different assignment books to expose him to more qns and even supervise him when he does his work. It did not help that he hung out with some friends after school and his attitude took a little downhill. Still, it wasn't working, in fact he only began hating the subject more which got me very worried.
I myself was not of an help especially to his problem sums as I go by my \"adult-thinking\", not the method that his teachers had taught him. I could see him dreading to go for Maths lesson in school and for his tuition, his actions to do maths became very dilly dally type.
Worried that he might not be able to pull up his act before PSLE, I packed him off for a motivational course during his June Holidays when he was in P4, and as I became a part time tuition coordinator at that period, I made use of those resources and searched for those individual tuition and tutors that I could trust to help my boy.
What I was told by the tutor was that my son got \"lost\" as he couldn't grasp the concept and had him started down from basics in the lessons. Even though the tutor isn't still teaching him today, his grades has improved and most importantly, his faith and confidence in himself.
So I guess sometimes, parents might often overlook a simple problem and push the blame that the child is unmotivated and lazy. Children can't comprehend what is going on in their life, and its the parent duty to solve that problem and give them the helping hand. And btw, his friends I misunderstood them, they are nice kids -
Hi,
i think teens have yet to uds the importance of studies . Perhaps , you could get tuition teachers to build up her consistencies in revising. Also during weekend , get her to do her revision and make sure she does not use her phone during revision
I think its normal and i am sure gradually she will understands, perhaps she has no motivation to study as she cant uds, have a talk to her and see how you could help her. -
MommySherrie:
Hi MommySherrie,
What I was told by the tutor was that my son got \"lost\" as he couldn't grasp the concept and had him started down from basics in the lessons. Even though the tutor isn't still teaching him today, his grades has improved and most importantly, his faith and confidence in himself.
Well done! I want to compliment you that you have done a great job. Starting from basics IS in fact one of the most lasting and effective method to improve Math. However, most won't want to do it because of various obvous reasons such as it is taking too much time, it is easier to blame something else beside working with my child to improve math.
Your ex-tutor must have done much more too such as giving your child space to regrow and rebuild his foundation without being judge.
Not being judgemental and working together with the child is also another essential element to see jump in grades for math. Your child must have felt that his effort is acknowledged and he is seen and respected for who he is and what his strengths are.
Well done again! And I'm sure your child will continue to grow!
John -
gisele924:
Hi concernmother,
I believe you are never alone. As far as a mother can do, educate and guide a child;we can only do our best. As parents, we always want the best for them and want protect them however if they need to fall in order to climb a mountain then probably we need to be prepared? Because human's nature learn by the hard way. You might want to try her reading some self-help books? Perhaps she will turn out fine in other ways? Since she goes to church, do you? Pray then.
Just to add on what gisele924 has shared, parents (both mothers and fathers) need to be told that they are doing a great job as parents. Though we are not 100% perfect parents (and we will never be), parents' efforts in trying their best need to be acknowledged.
Parents' need to recharge too because when they are stressed out, they will influence their children (unknowingly) and in social work terms, we call it \"transference\".
My suggestion is do an activity which both parent and child can enjoy and it works wonders after both are recharged and feeling less stressful again!
John -
the worse part about children who are weak academically, will be when they have sibling(s) who are high scorers, and compare themselves to siblings. my ds2 is not as bright or academically inclined as ds1. ds1 has no tuition at all now but ds2 has tuition for all subjects. ds2 does ask me, why gorgor dont need to study or tuition also can be so smart?
as parents, we really dont know what to say sometimes … -
Neosan60:
i can sense your difficulty...it is really not easy. if my two dd1 and dd2 asks me, I will be stuck too.the worse part about children who are weak academically, will be when they have sibling(s) who are high scorers, and compare themselves to siblings. my ds2 is not as bright or academically inclined as ds1. ds1 has no tuition at all now but ds2 has tuition for all subjects. ds2 does ask me, why gorgor dont need to study or tuition also can be so smart?
as parents, we really dont know what to say sometimes ...
Well, what I will do is to remind them of their unique strengths...I will say something like \"DD1 may be good in studies and you are good in drawing (for example)...so both of you have different strengths and daddy loves both of you and trusts that you will do your best no matter what.\"
I feel it's important to protect the other child's (who is not good in studies) self-esteem...and only parents can do that through our actions and words we use.
John -
My kids used to do badly in their studies and had very low self-esteemed. The pace in school is just going too fast for them. I got a recommendation from another parent and I decided to send them to my current tutor for classes.
The tutor also motivates and teach good values to my kids. They really improve alot under her guidance, both academically and their attitude.
You may PM me if you want her contact.
I went through what you went through and I definitely understand your frustrations. -
JohnYeo:
thanks john, thats what we have been doing too. we do not want to tell ds2 yet, that studies are not the most important thing in life, as we still need him to take it seriously.
i can sense your difficulty...it is really not easy. if my two dd1 and dd2 asks me, I will be stuck too.Neosan60:
the worse part about children who are weak academically, will be when they have sibling(s) who are high scorers, and compare themselves to siblings. my ds2 is not as bright or academically inclined as ds1. ds1 has no tuition at all now but ds2 has tuition for all subjects. ds2 does ask me, why gorgor dont need to study or tuition also can be so smart?
as parents, we really dont know what to say sometimes ...
Well, what I will do is to remind them of their unique strengths...I will say something like \"DD1 may be good in studies and you are good in drawing (for example)...so both of you have different strengths and daddy loves both of you and trusts that you will do your best no matter what.\"
I feel it's important to protect the other child's (who is not good in studies) self-esteem...and only parents can do that through our actions and words we use.
John
must also remember not to praise ds1 infront of ds2, must praise secretly.