Asperger? Hyperactive?
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HI 2ppaamm,
Thanks for yr reply. I agreed that as parents, we know our children best and we should have faith in our judgement. However, I am still affected whenever the teacher called up to complain about his behaviour and it breaks my heart to see him shunned by his classmates. I think I see the AS traits in a close relative and I read somewhere that AS is hereditary.
PS : DH said I am over reacting. -
Sorry mango, for the late reply. Busy at work and trying to spend time with my children as much.
Is his behaviour really bad that you are worried it will impact his relationship with peers, friends & family that it warrants a diagnosis? If you are really worried, it takes 5 symtptoms to be diagnosed as asperger. The characteristic must not be a one time off incidents. It's observed over a period of time. The doctor will ask a series of questions from when he was a baby to toddler to pre-schooler to current.
As per 2ppaamm list, my child exhibits the following.
- Social awkwardness / no friends
Yes to awkwardness but he has no qualms in approaching people. Naturally very friendly. But the way he approach is socially inappropriate. Eg \"Hey, I've just caught a spider. Do you know that spiders are ....\". It was a game day. His friends were excited waiting for their turn to play the game.
- Obsessions / focused on one subject
Can spend time reading / watching documentaries / thinking / drawing on his favourite subject for months. How was the family impacted? I was forced to read to him daily (reading material was targetted for primary school level) but he was just 4-5 years of age. Obsessed with facts on sharks, luxury car, amphibians and whats not.
- Lack of eye contact
There's eye contact but it's a very quick, flitting kind. Now, he is maintaining eye contact. (Err...it's me actually who doesn't)
- Sensitivity to noise / touch / feel of clothing
Sensitive to sound rather than noise and definitely the feel of fabric. The doctor did ask me to differentiate the sensitivity of noise. The doctor describe some kids are really disturb by the sound of vacuum cleaner and will start screaming. Mine is not bothered by the every day noises but more of very insignificant sound which normal people will not pick up. Recent funny incident happens in his class. After exam, the class was noisy with activities. He was a standing across the room playing and walked over to his teacher and told her he heard her phone ringing. True enough the phone was ringing but the sound was swallowed by the class noise.
Feel of clothing. He doesn't like cloth tag, he will start limping when his socks are not dorn properly. Certain material like wool or cotton with low thread counts bothers him.
- Slow to begin talking
Nope. He started with sign language which I can easily understand. Then proceeded with proper sentence by 2 years old. He skipped the one word phase.
- Odd speech / extreme logic / very proper speech
He regurgitate facts word by word in a proper sentence just like the books that I was forced to read.
- Anger / aggression / hitting others
This is the very reason why I send him for diagnosis. He hurts himself when he feels that he is not able to do what he thinks he should achieve/able to do. I've seen banging his body against the wall (I'm not sure what the reason was). Banging his head and hands against the piano keyboard. He's bothered by his finger tics & the banging can be quite bad. He doesn't hit others though.
- Craves ROUTINE!
This one was observed when he was a baby to toddler. He drove dh crazy when I went to work on every public holiday. This baby/toddler cried non-stop for hours because his routine was disturbed. What's the routine? Once the sun's up, if he's at home, he must see me. If there's no me, he shld be out of the house either at nanny's or childcare. No more of this routine but other pattern emerge.
- Appears lost / in own world
When he's pondering on his subject interest or playing with lego.
- Flapping hands
Nope.
- Communication problems or motor skills problems
More of one sided communication when he tries to force feed data to the person he's talking to. Often listener will get bored & ds does not even notice that it's time to stop or the listener is lost or it' s totally one sided. No issues with motor skills.
- Stimming behavior
So far I did not notice this but the teacher in his class notice it.
Even with diagnosis, there's not much help available in Singapore. The label just help me to understand what to look out for and to understand him better. -
[quote]I feel really sad to have to tell you this. My ds4 has been diagnosed, misdiagnosed, rediagnosed and prediagnosed by 4 different psychologists here.I'm coming to a point where I've lost much hope.
What I'm resolved to do is to find help for him to function as normally as possible in the society. [/quote]2ppaamm, I have no faith after listening to the doctor in IMH what asperger is all about. The explanation is so....superficial.
I hope you will be able to help him ease in the society and able to function as normal as possible. I'm sure it's not easy. Hang in there. With lots of love and faith, things will get better. -
2ppaamm:
Of the above, only some symptoms are exclusive to children with ASWhen I first read the symptoms of Asperger's listed below,
- Social awkwardness / no friends
- Obsessions / focused on one subject
- Lack of eye contact
- Sensitivity to noise / touch / feel of clothing
- Slow to begin talking
- Odd speech / extreme logic / very proper speech
- Anger / aggression / hitting others
- Craves ROUTINE!
- Appears lost / in own world
- Flapping hands
- Communication problems or motor skills problems
- Stimming behavior
poor social skills and awkwardness, odd speech (or rather idiosyncratic use of language), obsession and stimming behaviour.
Other probable symptoms :
ASD traits eg hand flapping, poor eye contact, craves routine, sensory processing difficulties (sound, touch, emotional regulation), being lost in world
From what I know, one key defining difference btw AS and ASD is the former has no history of speech delay and difficulties acquiring language.
Children with other disabilities may exhibit some of the above symptoms. eg conduct disorder (anger, aggression), obsessive compulsive personality, learning disabilities
I was first trained as an educational therapist, ie I work mainly with children with Learning Disability (LD). I was initially surprised to see young kids with LD labelled as having ASD and AS. The older ones that I saw then were simply labelled 'slow' or having learning difficulties.
I think the issue is LD is not very well-known in Singapore. Many children with LD have social skills difficulties (but much milder than ASD and AS), anger mgt issues, motor skills difficulties. Some may have sensory processing difficulties. They generally don't stim. They may be \"rigid\", preferring sameness as they don't cope well with change. Even when they have a favourite topic/obsession, they show it differently. Yes, some are gifted too.
Flu-like symptoms can mean flu, H1N1, dengue or some obscure low probability disease, right? Same goes for poor social skills.
I've given up explaining the difference btw ASD and LD & why our centre focuses on treatment as it entails challenging someone else's diagnosis. When the child has \"recovered\", I ask parents to consider having their child re-diagnosed.
There are many childhood disorders that many laypersons do not know of. Unfortunately, many practitioners, including myself, don't know enough too. I'd rather focus on helping the child based on his needs. -
[quote="EN"]
Is his behaviour really bad that you are worried it will impact his relationship with peers, friends & family that it warrants a diagnosis?
[\quote]
Thanks for your reply. Yes, his behaviour does affect his relationship
with his classmates. When his teacher told me that he has no friends
in class, I am not really bothered cos I see that he is generally in good spirits when we drop him off at school every morning. It is only during the last week of school, by chance taht I realised that his classmates are acting quite hostile towards him.
- Social awkwardness / no friends
he is being described as "not into situation".
- Obsessions / focused on one subject
yes
- Slow to begin talking
talks at 3, skip one word phase.
- Odd speech / extreme logic / very proper speech
very proper speech, like to find explanation for everything.
- Anger / aggression / hitting others
yes, hit out on his classmates and FT called me up several times.
at one stage, he has been staying back for recess almost everyday.
- Craves ROUTINE!
not really but if there is a change in routine, he will need an explanation.
- Appears lost / in own world
he can be very focused on things he enjoyed, oblivious of the surronding.
- Communication problems or motor skills problems
take words literally, cannot joke with him as he tends to takes them seriously. sent him to gym lessons and instructor asked if he is a special needs child.
[quote] Even with diagnosis, there’s not much help available in Singapore. The label just help me to understand what to look out for and to understand him better. [\quote]
As you have said, diagnosis is not going to help so I am NOT sending him for a diagnosis. This thread has certainly helped in my understanding of his behaviour. Right now, my main concern is to help him to improve his oscial skills. -
Hello Mango
If you don’t mind me asking, what kind of social skills do you think your child needs help in?
I’m not an expert but I do try to be around and watch my child/children interact with other kids. Will step in & address my child/children privately of the do’s and dont’s.
By the way, the diagnosis does help me in understanding the joy and frustration of raising an asperger child. Since it might be genetic, if one day he has his own children with the same traits, it will ease the tension between him and his wife. Eg like, minimal sleep as compared to other babies of the same age, sensitivities, extremely picky eater (never to mix food on the plate) & the need for sticking to schedules (otherwise, this baby will wail non-stop).
The doctor has also informed me that asperger are usually good with logical subjects like math and science. So those, are the subjects that I know he can do very well with minimal help. Because of the diagnosis, his class seat is to be away from the window due to sun light glare (sensitivity of light) and nature sound (can be very distracting to someone with acute sense of hearing).
Teachers will allow him to talk and ask questions outside classroom on things that he likes to talk, like black hole, some science factuals that he wants to know. Got him to assist on AVA and elect him to be in science competition.
So, in a way, the diagnosis helps to understand him better, teacher makes way to allow him to engage in activities that he likes. So at least he is looking forward to go to school daily. No friends to understand his interest, there’s teachers that he can talk and turn to.
So, it’s something for you to ponder. To diagnose or not to. -
Hi Mango,
It also breaks my heart when DS is shunned by classmates. I have seen DS trying to strike up conversation with other children or join other children playing at playground, but he is usually unsuccessfully.
DH was not very supportive of me sending DS for assessment, especially assessment by private doctor. He thought I was over-sensitive. He is worried abt the cost of therapy as well as DS will be label for life.
DS has been attending therapy (speech & occupational) at Child Development Unit since 2nd qtr of Yr2010. I see him puting his best effort when the therapist give him some tasks. Going with DS for therapy session really helps as I learn from the therapist his weakness, his strength, the better way to motivate him and get his attention to focus on tasks.
After each therapy session, I will brief my DH and maid on the recommended activities and \"best practices\". My DH, upon seeing DS improvements, starts to agree that therapy should be continued.
DS will be in K2 next yr and is currently on wait list for the social group therapy. According to the therapist, this kind of social group therapy is for 6 kids of the same conditions to play together for 4 hrs (with therapist), consecutive 5 days. Parents will be in the next room to watch them, with another therapist teaching us the ways to guide their play.
I think therapy helps us to understand and guide him better. -
I am helping a friend to look for social interaction class for her girl, aged 13, suspected of Asperger’s. Her girl has been isolated by classmates and has eye-contact problem.
Any recommendation? if not convenient to post here, plse pm me.
Thank you. -
Hi iikengkeng
It's difficult to give recommendation. If you read the thread, there are two different group of Asperger. One is known as asperger and the other is asperger syndrome disorder. Here is the link that you can read up on girl having Asperger.
http://www.yourlittleprofessor.com/girls.html
My dd and my friend's dd has very obvious social skill problem. However my dd is not diagnose as asperger but more of PDD Nos. When she was in primary 1 and much younger, she avoids eye contact, slow in speaking, she creates her own words, very clumsy and not able to form friendship on her own. My dd often hunch & sits quietly in class. The teacher who voices out her concerns help to pair her up with a pleasant girl who does not pose a threat to dd. The threat actually is more of a psychological barrier. Finding her to team up with a quiet soft spoken girl and another girl who is slightly more outgoing but with pleasant personality and capability. I'm often present in school and my dd loves it when I socialises with other parents, teachers and her friends. Little did I know that my presence boost her confidence as I help to break the ice & she actually learns by observing how I ease my way in talking to strangers. She's now 11. No more issues in finding friends but I still need to tackle issues of her cluttered/untidy look which needs daily reminder.
Would you want to share more about your friend's daughter issues? -
EN:
Thanks. will pass the link to her.Hi iikengkeng
It's difficult to give recommendation. If you read the thread, there are two different group of Asperger. One is known as asperger and the other is asperger syndrome disorder. Here is the link that you can read up on girl having Asperger.
http://www.yourlittleprofessor.com/girls.html
My dd and my friend's dd has very obvious social skill problem. However my dd is not diagnose as asperger but more of PDD Nos. When she was in primary 1 and much younger, she avoids eye contact, slow in speaking, she creates her own words, very clumsy and not able to form friendship on her own. My dd often hunch & sits quietly in class. The teacher who voices out her concerns help to pair her up with a pleasant girl who does not pose a threat to dd. The threat actually is more of a psychological barrier. Finding her to team up with a quiet soft spoken girl and another girl who is slightly more outgoing but with pleasant personality and capability. I'm often present in school and my dd loves it when I socialises with other parents, teachers and her friends. Little did I know that my presence boost her confidence as I help to break the ice & she actually learns by observing how I ease my way in talking to strangers. She's now 11. No more issues in finding friends but I still need to tackle issues of her cluttered/untidy look which needs daily reminder.
Would you want to share more about your friend's daughter issues?
My friend's dd named Germaine - is quite intelligent so has no problem academically. Has been very quiet since young. Doesnt make eye contact, not even to close relatives. Doesnt like holding hands with parents or hugging. Goes to recess alone. Recently doesnt want to go to school becos she says classmates shunned her - nobody wants to sit with her in bus, nobody wants her in their team for PE or projects.
My friend has read up on Asperger and finds her dd matches a lot of the symptoms.
btw, how old is yr dd?
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