Asperger? Hyperactive?
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soup:
Hi soup, when I was young, I was quite inattentrive and stuff, but now I'm fine. Just nurture and encourage your child from young, and everything will be fine... :hugs:Hi. I first read about Asperger's Syndrome from this forum, from fluffy and 2ppaamm. Thanks to their posts, I started reading up on this.
I wonder if any parents with experience, including fluffy and 2ppaamm, can help me out?
My son is about 3.5 years old. He is an only child. He was started on childcare (half day) 3 months ago. He has not been to any playgroup or enrichment class prior to this. The feedback that I got from his teachers are as follows: very hyperactive (likes to roam around the classroom exploring cupboards etc during lessons), inattentive when teachers are teaching, lack of interaction with peers (much better with adults), lack of eye contact, clumsy, and finally, possibly has a photographic memory.
I wonder if these can be features of Asperger, or hyperactivity syndrome. Or is it still too early to diagnose these at this age?
For those mothers who have kids with Asperger, when did you suspect it?
Or is it our society's tendency to overlabel people? In the past, people would just say these kids were clumsy, or forgetful, or absent-minded, and leave it as that, right? And the kids would have learnt to cope with it eventually...
Any feedback is much appreciated. -
soup:
SoupThank you to all of you with your tips and advice.
I am still not sure of how to help my boy. My 3.5 year old boy, after being at his preschool for the past 2+ months, is still behaving so differently from the rest. Not paying attention in class, wandering about (it's so obvious that when I pick him up, other parents ask me why he is like that :oops: ), no eye contact, no interaction with his classmates, somehow, he knows the names of almost all the teachers in his school, but not a single name of his classmates. He doesn't disturb people, is not disruptive, just wants to go into a corner by himself to read a book or explore a cupboard when everyone else is having lessons (okay, maybe that's disruptive for the teacher). He seems totally unconcerned when the teacher chides him, or when his classmates poke fun at him. Today I saw a classmate try to trip him as he was roaming about, luckily the teacher saw it and told the boy to leave my child alone. I'm just worried that as he gets older, he may become more affected by his peers' reactions to him
I've spoken to the principal who thinks that he is likely to be a special needs child, but that they would like to observe him further before they recommend a referral. She has also noticed that he is a fast learner and hence it's possible that he is just easily bored with classroom routines.
I thought of bringing him to see a paediatrician but my hubby is against this, or any intervention. He says that I worry too much, that there is nothing wrong with being a non-conformist, that we should just leave things alone.
Sigh, maybe guys don't realise the repercussions of odd behaviour in our society... or maybe I am worrying too much.
Anyway, I think I will await the school's principal's and teacher's assessment as to whether any referral is required, for now.
Thanks again, and any further feedback is appreciated.
other than him wandering around, do u face other problems?
Eg, lack of manner, lack of respect for his peers, lack of respect for elders, lack sense of boundary (dunno what is out of bounds), lack compassion?
these are geniune concerns but if you are not facing this, then not much to worry abt. -
soup:
Hi. I first read about Asperger's Syndrome from this forum, from fluffy and 2ppaamm. Thanks to their posts, I started reading up on this.
I wonder if any parents with experience, including fluffy and 2ppaamm, can help me out?
My son is about 3.5 years old. He is an only child. He was started on childcare (half day) 3 months ago. He has not been to any playgroup or enrichment class prior to this. The feedback that I got from his teachers are as follows: very hyperactive (likes to roam around the classroom exploring cupboards etc during lessons), inattentive when teachers are teaching, lack of interaction with peers (much better with adults), lack of eye contact, clumsy, and finally, possibly has a photographic memory.
I wonder if these can be features of Asperger, or hyperactivity syndrome. Or is it still too early to diagnose these at this age?
For those mothers who have kids with Asperger, when did you suspect it?
Or is it our society's tendency to overlabel people? In the past, people would just say these kids were clumsy, or forgetful, or absent-minded, and leave it as that, right? And the kids would have learnt to cope with it eventually...
Any feedback is much appreciated.
Your son sounds almost like my boy
My boy's teachers, both in his nursery/kindergarten/Chinese enrichment class, all commented that he does not pay attention and does not speak to teachers/classmates. One teacher asked me whether he knows how to speak at all. She also commented that he has the ability to remember chinese words after looking at them only once. I doubt that her observation is accurate, because my boy may have learned the words at home, since we read Chinese books to him everyday.
I never think that there is anything wrong with him. In fact, I think he is a very normal boy. At home, he speaks from morning to night non-stop. He just does not like to speak in school. His attention span was only a few minutes at 3 years old, that is normal for kids at that age. Now at 5 years 6 months old, his attention span is still not very long, but he is able to read about 800 words from an English story book in less than 10 mins, so it is not bad. Whenever I speak seriously to him, he likes to roll his eyes upwards, but I know he is just being playful.
Teacher's observations may not be accurate, especially since they have to handle so many kids. Some kids behave differently in school, and there can be many reasons. Mommies should always believe in their own instincts.
Actually I get quite frustrated when teachers complain that he cannot pay attention. I teach him to read English at home, and I am able to single-handedly teach him to read very well before the age of 5. He does have a short attention span, so it is the teacher's responsiblity to try to attract his attention, which is what I have been able to do at home.
Yes I do think that it is our society's tendency to over-label people. We are trying to teach kids too much when they are too young. Kids are not supposed to sit down and pay attention at 3 years old. They are supposed to run around and play until they are 6 years old.
Actually I think that one reason why teachers complain about a child, may be because they are afraid that parents may blame the teachers when their kids don't learn anything from school. It is better for parents to suspect that their kids have some sort of syndrome. -
Soup,
Your boy sound like my boy when he is young in childcare , he will lie down flat on the floor while others listen to what the teacher says. And he also wonder around a lot in the classes. Social skill and interaction with others a little lacking but he soon grow out of all these and learn.
Might also be the characteristics of a single child at home .( Mine a single child at home). So over the years I creat a lot of get together with others at my home , he invite all his friends usually boys to spend a day in his own room doing whatever he like just so he done feel he is alway alone when he is home.
He is now 13 and in sec school.
Just sharing for your thots . :love: -
Thank you all.
I guess my main concerns are:
1. He does not understand social norms, and also has no sense of the boundaries. Hence he really stands out from his class. Eg wandering about; refusing to sit down for desk work; walks right up to the board if the teacher is teaching something that catches his attention, and refuses to budge, blocking the view of the other children; runs around the whole school when let out of the classroom; climbs to top of tables etc . Both I and the teachers have tried all sorts of discipline, but it's just like water off a duck's back. He is not even deterred by pain. Once when he fell down while running in school and got bleeding knees, he just picked himself up and continued running, with me and some teachers chasing and shouting behind him! :!:
2. He is so inattentive in class during group teaching. The teachers also find that he learns best when he gets 1:1 attention. They will try to do that with him if there is time at the end of the lesson. If not, they will give me the materials/worksheets and ask me to teach him at home. He learns very fast if there is 1 to 1 teaching and if his attention is engaged. But I feel he has to get used to learning during group teaching as the teachers cannot always put time aside for him, and I can't always be revising every single lesson with him.
But I am just hoping that he is still so young, that he will get better with time (like Muffins ). At least, he doesn't seem to be rude, or disrespectful, just ... nonchalant and blur.
I was very worried as he seems to be so different from the rest of his classmates, who are so \"well-behaved\". But I am now so heartened that the parents here share some similar stories. Look at the wonders that you parents have done with your kids, especially Tamarind (I am a fan of your blog). Maybe I won't worry so much anymore, just put more energy into helping my child along.
:celebrate: -
[quote]Look at the wonders that you parents have done with your kids, especially Tamarind (I am a fan of your blog). Maybe I won't worry so much anymore, just put more energy into helping my child along.
[/quote]soup,
I am happy to know that you read my blog
I always think that all kids below the age of 5 will benefit most when given one to one attention. For kids age 3 to 5 years old, there is no need to spend many hours teaching them. About 30 mins a day will be good enough, the most important thing is to try to attract their attention. In the case of my boy, I realize that when I find the right methods to teach him, he can remember things very quickly. He also cannot sit still and focus, at 3 years old, he can only focus for less than 3 mins. I usually just teach him for 2 to 3 mins at a time, a few times a day. Most of the time, he appears nonchalant and blur too. Actually we should not expect kids to be able to sit still from 3 to 5 years old. They learn best when moving around, touching things, so mommies can try to suit their learning styles at home. When I teach my boy, I actually make him move around the house touching this and that, or make him perform the actions to understand the words better.
In fact, I did not make my boy sit down to do desk work every day. All I have done was to teach him to read very well, and I also taught him how to do addition and subtraction mentally by using his toys and number cards. He plays with his toys most of the time. Now at 6 years old, his writing is fine, and he does not mind doing his homework. So I do not think it is necessary to make a child do desk work from as young as 3 years old.
Teachers in pre-schools have to handle so many kids, we really cannot expect them to pay special attention to each child. To the teachers, it is easier for kids to sit down and listen, but this is really not the best learning style for many kids.
Even for other young kids who can appear to sit still and listen, it does not mean that they are absorbing everything that the teacher is saying. -
These are often highly gifted children and often we are at lost how to handle them.
Soup rightly used the description 'nonchalant' and 'blur'...I wld say they appear 'blur' coz they simply 'bochup' (nonchalant).
The challenge I faced and still facing is in the area of discipline and it's really a test of WILL and also stretches our WISDOM. Simple example,
Parents : If u don't do this, you will not get any computer time.
Kiddo : Ok lor!!
Parents : :stupid:
Anyway, if there's anything that can be done, you have to do it when he's still relatively young, ie, NOW! If not NOW, then it'll be even more worrying subsequently. Coz when he's young, older kids are still more tolerant towards that kinda non-team spirit. Once he gets old and people less tolerant, he may end up being sabo or left out. That will effect of the self esteem of even the most hardcore nonchalant kid.
Not trying to frighten you but sharing the challenge I'm still facing
But the good news is that my friend feedback that his highly gifted (HCI) son who was simply not a team player is now a changed person after enrolling into NS...thanks to BMT!!! :celebrate: -
:thankyou:
I think that if he still can't \"fit\" into his class or interact with his peers at a later age, then I'll worry again. :roll: For now, I will just let him develop at his own pace, and look at his uniqueness in a positive way.
:celebrate: -
Hi,
Has anyone got insight of above?
And any advice on where to seek help?
Thks -
millan:
Hi,Hi,
Has anyone got insight of above?
And any advice on where to seek help?
Thks
I chanced upon these websites. Hopefully they can be of some help.
http://shoulders.freeforums.org/
http://www.mummysg.com/forums/f97/
http://singaporeautism.blogspot.com/2008/09/clinics-for-speech-and-language-therapy.html
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