myebelle:

Hi



I'm not a specialist but in my studies (remedial massage), I am familiar with some anatomy.

When someone is toilet-trained, it is something they won't forget how to do unless they suffer from some form of brain damage. So bedwetting after being toilet-trained, can be one of two things :- psychological or physiological. If you really want to rule out the causation, I agree with the others about seeing a urologist to see if it's physiological. We have sphincters (type of muscle that acts like valve) inside our body that control urinal flow. When we are toilet-training when young, we are training to control this muscle, once trained, this muscle doesn't 'forget' how to work unless something has probably happened to it. Or it can also be pelvic floor muscle issue. Either way, hopefully the urologist should help you define that.

If Urologist's examination is not conclusive, my alternative suggestion would be to see a child psychologist. I understand you have asked her if she had any issues at school and she said no. Sometimes, children may not be able to identify what an 'issue' is. To them, maybe that issue has happened and she could have rationalised and internalised it to the point that she thinks that's just part and parcel of life, and she will deal with it, without realising that subconsciously she is affected emotionally.

Hope that makes sense.

mich

Hi,

Thanks for your help! I'm really torn between sending her to either a urologist or psychologist. I'm really tempted to send her to a urologist, but so far the few GP's I brought her to have said that DD's issue is probably not a physical one. The TCM also does not seem to have any effect on her yet, but I heard that such medication requires time. So I think that sending her to a child psychologist would have better results.

BlueBells:

Generally, I would encourage all children to take part in school camps and exchange programs.


However, since your child has a little challenge here, the way I would do it would be to sit down and discuss how she can handle the situation if her peers find out she is on diapers, leave some thoughts open and let her come to a decision. Whatever is her decision, stand by her and respect it.

She is 11, a good time to start involving her in some small decision making that might impact / affect her.

Thanks for the advice. DW and I took some time to talk to her yesterday. Asked her the most important question- how she would handle the situation if her friends found out that she is on diapers. She told us that she don't know. Nevertheless she is still eager to go for the camp, so we go with her decision and see how it turns out.

We intend to make her plan for it on her own, ie how many diapers to prepare. Her FT knows about her issue but has not said anything to us regarding the camp and her condition.

Hi guys,


Thanks for the help and support. Will remind DD to go toilet as frequently as possible. I’ll still keep her in pullup for the day just in case. Let the medicine do its work.

Another question, DD’s P5 adventure camp is coming up. Can she be exempted from the camp because of her condition? Or would you encourage her to go for the camp? She’s quite eager to attend leh! But dont’t know what would be the best choice for her.

Daughter's pull up actually leak in school today!! :shock: Luckily no one notice as her school skirt was only damp a bit. She got two spares in her backpack, but she say she didn't realise that she was wet, she's also scared that her classmate will discover, so she didn't change for the whole day. Poor girl :faint:


The quality and absorbancy of the pullup she's wearing is very poor. Its designed for bedwetting kids but she's wearing it for day use. So far she has been wearing it to school for only one week, and its the first time it leak.

p.s. Sorry if this is like a blog post, just want to give some update

longmao.irene:

Hi daddy,


Tik d powder Sh b good.

Last time wen my DD hv prob wif respiratory web bk every week for massage n chg Chinese med according to his condition. U might wan to try it out wif ur gal n see how
it helps..

Understd ur gal is P5, hv u consider letting her wear those panty liner for adults / preggy( cannot recall d name) meant for bladder abit loose so wen cough / sneeze will \"wet\" abit.. Asborent quite good.I had those b4 definately better Dan diapers (bulky n u as papa got to wear for her Tik not v approiate, v sorry, no
Offense)

Will try to find d name for tat brand of panty liner for u tomolo, no promises as my pl on Reno now...

Regards,
Longmao

No offence taken! Very appreciate that you share the product.

Was also very hesitant to diaper DD myself, but both DD and I understand that its for the best. Normally its DW who's in charge, I only take over when wife is busy or away. We try to keep her in pull-up for day time, so she can change it herself when she wet. Only diapers when she sleeping.

Bulkiness is also a big issue for her. The diaper is very obvious when wear over pants so DD got to resort to wear skirt/dress when go out. Her headache is how to hide the bulk during PE lesson in school..

Sidetrack abit, in SG schools is there a system where there is like a medical staff at the sick bay that allow DD to put her stuff and change there if necessary? Because quite tiresome for her to carry bag around school everytime she need to change. Read on Google that some ang mor schools got this system.

Thanks a lot for your help! Really grateful

longmao.irene:

Hi daddy,


Did u go to d one I reccomend? They Sh hv gvn u sm Chinese med powder or capsule.

Hi longmao.irene, I didn't go to the one you recommended :oops:

I went to one that DW went to when she was pregnant with my daughter bcos the clinic is run by a family friend. But was only given some powder, meant to counter the 'cool'.

Thanks for the advice! Intend to get DD to do the kegel exercise mentioned by cmm, but wife is on business trip.

Any tonics to recommend? TCM doc says DD is 'cool' so it means need something warm, is it? Is there any soft or cold drink to avoid?

Brought DD to try out TCM today. Doc say she's 'cool' and said avoid barley, watermelon etc.. Am I right to say that it should not be physical (muscle) issue that's causing her loss of control?


In view of her worsening control DW and I that it is best to put her in diapers for the day as well, esp since we go out often for extend period of time. Daughter is very paiseh :oops: , but generally fine with it. She's a good and understanding girl. But we are worried that it could affect her mood. I guess it will take some time for her condition to improve. Any ideas on how to help her cope? I know my wife is the best candidate for the job but she is quite busy, often work late/out of SG.

vlim:

U can also consider sending her to paediatrician since she only 11 yr.

We sent her to her pediatrician but was unable to diagnose anything. I am thinking of sending her to psychiatrist to see if it is emotional causes.

Thanks!

Pen88n:

HiDaddy,


If it is \"getting worst\" now that she is also losing control in daytime, is there any trigger condition (eg. stress in school?) Does she actually know that she is wetting herself (with the diaper) or she has no knowledge of it till you all check the diaper?

I would think that you need to bring her to consult a specialist to ensure there is no bladder condition that constitute to the wetting, esp. since it is getting worst. I'm not sure how you define rarely wetting herself in the daytime, since you said most days the diapers are wet. To me, I think it needs to be dealt with care as you would not want the condition to deteriorate.

Hi Pen88n,

Sorry, my post was not specific enough. What I meant was that she rarely wets herself in public. Last time she became quite distressed because of that. To answer your question, her condition has worsen to the extent that she often does not realise that she is wetting. I just ask and check her at home after I fetch her from school. The doctor said that its very unlikely that she has a bladder (physical) condition. Should I bring her to specialist this time? I'm thinking of sending her to psychiatrist but I'm not sure because she does not look like she got emotional problem leh...

Thanks!
HiDaddy