Hi all


There is a forummer named trcy75x who contacted regarding my daughter’s academic problems. He / she mentioned that there is a very patient Maths tutor I can try out.

I’ve not been able to get in touch with trcy75x - if any of you could point me to him or know of this contact - I’d really appreciate it.

Thanks so much.

Best Regards
Mr Tan

Hi all


Thanks for the numerous replies over time - I’ve not managed to check back into this thread.

I appreciate all your kind words and suggestions of advice. For Maths, my DD is now attending JEI PSLE Math - but it’s still a group class and I feel she is not benefiting as much.

Anyone has suggestions for a one-on-one Maths tutor? My wife and I think she is a bit better now but has still a general fear of Maths.

Thanks so much.

Hi


We’re thinking of requesting a school transfer for our daughter who is now at the end of Primary 3.

She is currently in a good brand name school in the south, but this school does not have affiliation to a secondary school.

We want to transfer her to a school with secondary school affiliation starting from Pri 4 as we know the affiliation gives a very good bonus to the PSLE score.

Now I know that school transfer is usually based on merit, e.g. the student has great results, superstar ECAs, etc.

In our case, our daughther is struggling academically and we hope to transfer her based on "compassionate" grounds. She is struggling academically and based on professional diagnosis she has no learning disability but is a slower learner than average.

The other reason we have is that her grandmother will more easily be able to pick her to / from school as the target school is nearer her Grandma’s place.

We also feel that the target school is a more holistic learning environment for our child.

Does anyone have experience or tips to achieve a school transfer in this kind of circumstance? That is, on compassionate grounds? What do you say to the target school as your reasons?

Thanks for any help you can render.

=====

Some background:
- Our daughter is quite borderline when it comes to academics, she is not a superstar.
- Her English / Chinese are typically about 60 / 100.
- Maths is her weakest subject and she is typically like 51 / 100.
- Science is her favorite subject and she is usually 60 something out of 100.
- She does not have much of an extracurricular record, not part of some school team or anything.

- My wife puts in a LOT of time with her, coaching her everyday
- We also send her to Berries, PSLE Maths and she has one-on-one English tuition
- We send her to Total Communication (which helps slower learners catch up by helping them think / analyze etc.)
- We had her diagnosed and the results and she is not labelled as dslexic or having learning difficulty. She is just poorer on listening, working memory and the ability to process / analyze information.
- Her working memory is slow, meaning if you ask her something like, what is 121 + 54, she will take longer than you’d expect her to.
- She is a good girl and works hard but learning wise is lags behind.

Hi all


I’d like to find out if you have any recommendations for professionals who specialize in behavioral / psychological difficulties for my DD. I wish to send her for an assessment to diagnose developmental milestones, etc.

The problems we’re having with my DD:

My DD is in P3 and is easily distracted, often playing make-belief / self –talk with fingers and erasers etc. She is considered very immature for her age (8.5 years old).

She often did not take down instructions to sign/ bring things. Slow learner, so paired with stronger buddies. Some classmates did comment that she is not very clever.

She is very distracted , not keen to learn, brought toys to school and played make-belief, engage in a lot of self-talk, pretending to be an animal, often making crafts, e.g paper handbag etc.

She was made to stay back during recess for failing to complete her homework. However she went off, according to the teacher, seemingly not realizing that she was being punished. When probed why she did not stay back, she just kept quiet and stared, did not say anything. Teacher was concerned that often her behavior seems to be less mature compared to her friends.

With private tutor : She can be distracted (even drawing right in front of the teacher) and not focused, unless the topic is of her interest, e.g. animals. Tutor also commented that she may also behave childish at times.

With math tutor whom she is more afraid of, whenever she could not understand or do any question, she will just clam up and/or start crying and refuse to say anything. Teacher will get more frustrated with her.

Often when doing math or when she faces a problem, she clams up and start crying non-stop. Even when presented with very simple questions.

She also has difficulty expressing her feelings. We ask her how she feels and she will clam up without saying a word for long periods of time.

Thank you in advance for any help you can render.

Hi all


This is a follow on thread from my previous post:
http://www.kiasuparents.com/kiasu/forum ... 27&t=73712

Last night I shouted at my DD (Primary 3) to ask her to stop crying after she couldn't do a Maths problem. She got back her Maths mid-year exam (54 out of 100) and we asked her to re-try the problems she left blank (yes, left blank).

What typically happens:

1. Wife and I identify a Maths problem for our DD and start a timer, e.g. 5 minutes.

2. DD attempts to do the Maths problem (e.g. John has some sweets. He packed his sweets equally into 8 bags. Each bag contained 43 sweets and he had 6 sweets left. How many sweets did Mr Gopal have at first?

3. My DD sits there thinking for e.g. 1 to 1.5 minutes without writing anything.
- My wife and I look at her anxiously, hoping she knows how to do it.
- Sometimes she twirls her hair, fidgets with her eraser, etc. We get irritated and ask her to stop that.
- She will hesitantly draw out a model and look at my wife for affirmation.
- If she panicks, she will start crying non-stop.
- My wife and I get very frustrated and e.g. (last night) we tell her nicely we are trying to help her. Please stop crying first.
- She continues to cry and stops. Then cries again.
- The timer goes off, 5 minutes reached and she continues crying.
- This crying can go on for 20 minutes or more.
- Last night one of these things happened (she did badly for maths 54 out of 100 for her mid-year Maths) and I shouted at her to stop crying - we are trying to help you, can you stop crying, we can't help you if you keep crying. We have been trying every night for the last two years trying to help you, if you cry we cannot help you, etc....
- Later after her crying and my shouting, we ask her to do the sum again.
- Again, she does the sum in the same manner - hesitant, unconfident, etc.

4. She has a very hard time putting down the concept, i.e. 8 x 43 = 344 sweets. Then adding 6 sweets to that to give 350 sweets. Her answer in the exam was 5 (this is an actual exam question which we asked her to re-do at home).

The issue is also that this kind of open-ended question is only 2 marks each. But she needs to sketch out a model (in two steps) in order to understand the concept and then calculate. She is very slow in processing the question (low working memory) and getting the calculations down on paper.

5. The frustrating thing is, we know she understands the concepts. Because when we try to let her do the sum (without a timer) - she is fine. She can draw out the models, etc. out just fine and calculate the answer.

6. She also has much less issues with e.g. Science, because she mentions its her favourite subject. And she also doesn't cry for English and Chinese. Although for these other subjects, she also doesn't do well.

My wife and I are really very tired. This kind of thing has been going on for two years. I posted in another thread recently about how my family is also breaking down under this pressure (my older son who is going through PSLE getting ignored and my youngest son also getting ignored, throwing tantrums because all our attention is on helping our daughter).

List of tuition we send her to (and to no avail):
- Berries
- Individual English tuition
- PSLE Maths
- BrainFit

Honestly, sometimes I look at parents with kids who are motivated to study and we think - sigh, if only our kids are like this - I don't know, maybe we brought them up wrong or something. And they lack motivation, self-confidence.

I feel terrible this morning as I type this because I shouted at her at the top of my voice last night. But I couldn't control ... sigh.

Please - we need professional help. If you have any suggestions, please write or message me. We are really on the verge of giving up aid at a total loss how to help her.

Thank you.

Regards
Very Concerned and Troubled Dad

Thanks all for your replies, especially jetsetter (who went to read up on my other threads to see how to help me). I really appreciate it.


To give you an illustration of what happens when my DD tries to do Maths (last night I shouted at my DD to ask her to stop crying when she couldn't stop bawling when trying to do a Maths problem).

What typically happens:

1. Wife and I identify a Maths problem for our DD and start a timer, e.g. 5 minutes.

2. DD attempts to do the Maths problem (e.g. John has some sweets. He packed his sweets equally into 8 bags. Each bag contained 43 sweets and he had 6 sweets left. How many sweets did Mr Gopal have at first?

3. My DD sits there thinking for e.g. 1 to 1.5 minutes without writing anything.
- My wife and I look at her anxiously, hoping she knows how to do it.
- Sometimes she twirls her hair, fidgets with her eraser, etc. We get irritated and ask her to stop that.
- She will hesitantly draw out a model and look at my wife for affirmation.
- If she panicks, she will start crying non-stop.
- My wife and I get very frustrated and (last night) and we tell her nicely we are trying to help her. Please stop crying first.
- She continues to cry and stops. Then cries again.
- The timer goes off, 5 minutes reached and she continues crying.
- This crying can go on for 20 minutes or more.
- Last night one of these things happened (she did badly for maths 54 out of 100 for her mid-year Maths) and I shouted at her to stop crying - we are trying to help you, can you stop crying, we can't help you if you keep crying. We have been trying every night for the last two years trying to help you, if you cry we cannot help you, etc....
- Later after her crying and my shouting, we ask her to do the sum again.
- Again, she does the sum in the same manner - hesitant, unconfident, etc.

4. She has a very hard time putting down the concept, i.e. 8 x 43 = 344 sweets. Then adding 6 sweets to that to give 350 sweets. Her answer in the exam was 5 (this is an actual exam question which we asked her to re-do at home).

The issue is also that this kind of open-ended question is only 2 marks each. But she needs to sketch out a model (in two steps) in order to understand the concept and then calculate. She is very slow in processing the question (low working memory) and getting the calculations down on paper.

5. The frustrating thing is, we know she understands the concepts. Because when we try to let her do the sum (without a timer) - she is fine. She can draw out the models, etc. out just fine and calculate the answer.

6. She also has much less issues with e.g. Science, because she mentions its her favourite subject. And she also doesn't cry for English and Chinese. Although for these other subjects, she also doesn't do well.

My wife and I are really very tired. This kind of thing has been going on for two years. I posted in another thread recently about how my family is also breaking down under this pressure (my older son who is going through PSLE getting ignore and my youngest son also getting ignored, throwing tantrums because all our attention is on helping our daughter).

List of tuition we send her to (and to no avail):
- Berries
- Individual English tuition
- PSLE Maths
- BrainFit


Honestly, sometimes I look at parents with kids who are motivated to study and we think - sigh, if only our kids are like this - I don't know, maybe we brought them up wrong or something. And they lack motivation, self-confidence.

Perhaps with the above detail - some of you have further suggestions on what we can do. Please write or message me. We are really on the verge of giving up and at a total loss how to help her.

Thank you.

Hi


I'm posting this to get help for my daughter in Pri 3.

We really, really need help. We are tearing our hair out on a daily basis and my wife and I are close to breaking down over this. My wife, especially has been close to breaking down / going bonkers over this and it is putting a LOT of stress on this family. Its a very unhealthy family situation and my older boy has been complaining why the home environment is so stressful (he is in P6 so I also worry he is worried over my wife and I stressing over our girl). Our third kid (a boy) cries frequently and quarrels with his sister and that makes things worse.

To be specific, my daughter has difficulties in:

1. Exam techniques (she will spend too much time on one question, esp. in Maths. And if she encounters a question she doesn't know she will start getting frustrated and cry).

2. She is very weak in Maths - her basic arithmetic e.g. division is quite ok but she struggles with model based questions.

3. She is easily distracted. If she doesn't like a topic, e.g. Maths, Chinese - she will listen to you for a while, then start wandering around and losing focus.

She recently got 48 for Maths in school (she is Pri 3 this year) and is causing a lot of worry for my wife and I.

She is likes Science and she thinks is is good in it. Her grades there are average.

English - she struggles with vocab (her vocab is very weak), comprehension she reads quite a number of Disney storybooks. Her grammar is still ok.

Chinese - she struggles with comprehension and also Chinese vocab.

She is also very reliant on her mom. If her mom is not there, she doesn't know what to do, is afraid to try questions, etc.

We have sent her to BrainFit, Berries, PSLE Maths tuition, private English tuition and also coach her daily ourselves. Her English tutor struggles with her being distracted. And we have a feeling all this is only making very little difference.

We need expert help - especially in helping her with:
1) Confidence - she has low esteem, thinks she can't do questions.
2) Exam techniques, keeping to time
3) Subject content - as described above

Are there any professional folks we can approach - especially on confidence and exam technique? We are willing to fork out for good services in this area.

Regards
Very Concerned and Troubled Dad