Oppsgal:If my DD want me to do something for her and is rude , I will be rude to her too then ask her how she feels when I behave this way.So next time my kid throw empty water pen at me, I throw back and scream like the toddler?
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So if DD would to throw pen at me I would throw it back( but i wont scream like a toddler ) then ask her if she like being treated this way.

