Hi mummies,


need advice on how to counsel my boy, who seems to be going through some kind of crisis recently. We have been trying to expose him to group activities like martial art class etc, every time, I tried encouraging him to say hello and play with other kids. He refused, looked away, but I didn’t stop trying. I even tried to be the kaypo person to facilitate the interaction, get the kid to talk to him.
I’m not sure if I have overdone it, recently, he told my mum he wants to go to class but he ‘doesn’t want friends’… Maybe he is aware he is different from other kids, as he has difficulty expressing himself, so he wants to avoid making new friends.

However, when he is with the very few kids he is comfortable with (those who initiate and wholeheartly accepted him as friend), I see that he is trying hard to fit himself in… learning to be like them. For example, insisting to sit with his cousins at the smaller table to have dinner together, insisting that I buy him a P3 math workbook because his favorite pal in the after schoolcare centre is in primary 3 and is using that workbook.

On one hand, I’m glad that he is showing sign that he is starting to show awareness about himself and his surroundings as he attempt to fit himself, but then the same self awareness, also cause him to retreat back into his shell… His behavior and response indicate I should hold back in pushing him to learn to make friends… but I’m not sure what to do next to help him…

Blokus:

Curious to know how your husbands reacted after the diagnosis? Now that it's possible that our son is on the spectrum, I made effort to read up, source for therapy, talk to other moms etc. My hub on the other hand has done no research & not as on the ball as me. Though he acknowledges our son needs help & goes along with any plans I've set up for our son without any disagreement. But I just wish he was more active in reading up so that he knows when to correct our child's behaviour. Alot of times he let things when my son needs correction. many a times he does that is because he doesnt realize some behaviors need to be corrected. In his mind, our son is still a child and so he let things slide like when our son don't respond to people, my hub will just stand there and let it be. That frustrates me no end. He also thinks autism is something can be outgrown. Arrg. How are hubs like?

Blokus, your hubby does sound like mine.. Sometimes, I also feel frustrated that I am so alone in this long battle. After a while, I tried to console myself, just do what I feel is right, and try to see his \"no disagreement\" in more positive light i.e. as being supportive. I also come to realization that getting frustrated or angry with hubby will not do much help to our kids.

Maybe men are like that, they are not good in multitasking as women so they can't worry about work and the children at the same time. It may be worse, if we give them more stress that they can handle, till they snap.

I would like to share with an article I found on yahoo page.


http://sg.news.yahoo.com/blogs/singaporescene/myth-education-063210127.html

I like the part which mention education is \"about the pursuit of excellence. It's about being better than you were yesterday, and not about being better than other people.\".
Hope this will help us to stay motivated to help our kids and not to get stress about whether they are able to do what other kids can do.

Blokus:

Even can read and write, may still be tough. My son has no issues with both but he can't form a proper sentence structure let alone create a simple story. So I'm very worried for him when it comes to composition. P1-2 still ok but P3 onwards would be really hard. Very concern. So now I try to make him do copy work. Since he's

Memory is good, hopefully as he copies he remembers the sentences and perhaps learn to tweak them and use them in future.

My boy is also having problem with composition, so much so that his school teacher has to give him special concession i.e more time and with prompt in order to complete his test. I have spoken to his speech and language therapist, who told me the only way now is for him to memorize short sentences

Thanks Mashy, will try to find out. Just realise my boy had a opened date appointment with Rehab centre- way long before he was officially diagnose Maybe it helps


Jia you to all the mummies. I think I was lucky that the cc I send my boy to are very accommodating. I think part of the reason is the cc I send my boy to is rather small (it was in a mature HDB estate, so they don't have that many kids). Another option you can consider with the cc is offering help to shadow your child- can ask your helper or other family members if you are working. Professional shadow can be rather ex

I'm not sure how rest of you think, but I felt that many people from the public didn't understand why we are fighting so hard to let our kids be at mainstream, while they should be 'better of' at a special school, some even conclude that we are in denial of our kids condition. They don't understand we are just trying to help our kid to learn to interact with the \"normal people\", just as much as we hope the rest of the world can accept them for who they are.

mashy:

specialboymum:

Hey mummies,


thanks for all the motivational posts I think all of us need them at times.

Just want to find out from mummies here, do you know of any organization that conduct holiday social skill classes for special kids like ours?

KKH rehab is conducting a social skills class in dec. u may wanna call and ask. My son is attending so not sure what's the age group that will be. Another one I know is Kids In Flow is also starting a social skills group.

Thanks Mashy, do you know if KKH rehab's class is opened to kids who are not attending therapy there?

Hey mummies,


thanks for all the motivational posts I think all of us need them at times.

Just want to find out from mummies here, do you know of any organization that conduct holiday social skill classes for special kids like ours?

GabyEn:

Hi,


I'm interested in this program. I read from some website that it has started to become a 'standard therapy' in Australia.

I can't access the website you provided. Is there any email address or telephone number that I can contact them?

Thanks

Hi
website is http://www.fastforword.com.sg. Did you type \"Fast ForWord\"? I made the mistake of typing \"Fast Forward\" with an \"a\".

I managed to get a copy of their flier for the upcoming event on 22 Sep. See attached.

Regards[/quote]

Thanks. I manage to reach them, their website was done for a while but now back working.
I will do a trial first before signing up. I did some more reading and realize the program sound beneficial to dyslexic kids but I still need to carefully assess if it will really help my ASD. My ASD actually have good voca.. he has no problem recognizing and reading out all the words, but most of the time, he doesn't understand what he is reading. He also have difficulties verbalize his thoughts in a proper sentence. For example, when he see me drinking carrot soup.. he will say \"mama drinks soup in carrot\"

verykiasumummy:

Blokus:

Alamak! Spelling error. But never mind let me say it again, helpless mum


You lose nothing!
You lose nothing!

oh my, ur spelling error makes ur post sounds funny...

:rotflmao:

It is good to let \"loose\" once in a while... .
chill out mummies

[

helplessmum3:

mashy,

i have no choice, when my son attend cc, they P already ask me to get proof to say my son is NT kid. :(.. so get go KKH CDU. SUCKS place!!! we pay subsidize amount but the workers there get pay specialist amount u know, waste our GOVT money for sub price.!!!

[/quote][/quote]

A good educator will not be doing things like demanding for proof of your child is NT. If they think they can't handle, they should at least have further discussion with you on what to do to handle him better.

Agree it is better to look for another school, I don't think the current school sound like a good one (not even for a normal kid). Perhaps you can look for one with smaller number of children. Sometimes it will be helpful to just keep in constant contact with the school, like sharing with the teachers how to handle him if he has meltdown or things to look out for that agitate him. For me, I will jot down in his notebook or email, so that his teacher can respond whenever they are available.