In-law problems?
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straffan23:
same..we hardly hv meals together.Now,he has made it clear that he chose his mother over me. Don't blame me if i've EMA.I only in 30s,got husband yet he is a statue to me,for display purposes onlyOn Saturday, MIL showed up before 9am. Kicked my husband out of bed to do crowd control and provide entertainment for MIL. Didn't get out of bed till 10am myself but MIL was still hovering about. For every sentence and every word that I exchanged with my children, she chimed in... Finally when we went out she followed us downstairs (still waiting for invitation to join? I dunno). Bumped into MY neighbor downstairs and neighbour asked \"Oh, DIL expecting, ah? Boy or girl?\" To which MIL replied, \"Aiya, girl lah...\"... No wonder people all around my block knows I am expecting (yet another) girl. Summore some of them come up to me and console me \"MIL a bit disappointed is a girl hor... nevermind. At least already have one boy and one girl.\" WTF????
Then Sunday, again... I was tidying up my collection of gift wrappers, when she opened the door, walked into my house and sat right next to me and started interrogating me. \"What are you doing? huh? For what ah? How come so many? Come from where? You want to do what? Got present ah? Need to pay one, ah? Free?\" To which I just lost it. I told her, \"This is my house. I am doing my own things. It does not concern you\". Of course this went to my hubby lah...
To me, already very rude to have my house keys and anytime just walk in. To come right into my private space and interrogate me just make me want to scream at her. Already I didn't. And she still doesn't know why I am always angry with her - so I tell her... but also cannot tell her. Then she \"so hurt\".
if she hurt,she complains,we kena arrow
Sometimes I really wish my DH would move back into his mother's house so that I don't need to deal with the MIL.Occasionally,i did that,i asked my DH to move back n stay wf his mum.His presence brings mil problems.
At times, i feel like calling my guy frds out to hv coffee.At least,we could chat in peace,no interruption from mil.They r oso always there when i nid them.Unlike my DH,he nvr been wf me when i nid him,coz he constantly serving his godness mother.
Not that I see DH a lot, not that it makes a lot of difference where he sleeps and where he eats because we barely have more than 2 meals together every week. And when he is at home, MIL comes reporting! Arrrrgh!!! -
think u should change the locks… and not give her the key…
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nightlone:
think u should change the locks... and not give her the key...
Logically, yes. But that is very drastic. I don't even talk back to her and try my hardest to keep all my opinion to myself... My first choice is always non-confrontational. So that being said... changing the locks although very practical but something I can't bring myself to doing? Maybe after I kick my husband out, bah...
Anyway she can be very thick skin and thick headed. Pretense or on purpose, I am not sure. E.g. when I had a chance to get back the keys she plainly refused. When our mailbox changed keys she took my husband's keys to make a duplicate. Yes! Even mailbox keys!! -
straffan23:
That is way too controlling. You need to get your husband on your side on this first, then move to constrain your MIL.nightlone:
think u should change the locks... and not give her the key...
Logically, yes. But that is very drastic. I don't even talk back to her and try my hardest to keep all my opinion to myself... My first choice is always non-confrontational. So that being said... changing the locks although very practical but something I can't bring myself to doing? Maybe after I kick my husband out, bah...
Anyway she can be very thick skin and thick headed. Pretense or on purpose, I am not sure. E.g. when I had a chance to get back the keys she plainly refused. When our mailbox changed keys she took my husband's keys to make a duplicate. Yes! Even mailbox keys!!
When a couple get married, they are menat to 'cleave' from their parents and form a new family unit. Your DH priority is to you, not his mum. Bash that thought into his thick skull if you need to...... -
straffan23:
Can install some motion activated playback system in diff rooms....whenever she enter, it will go “你来了？”， “口渴吗？”， “吃饱了没?\" etc...in a low muffled voice. Can add in occasional children laughter too!nightlone:
think u should change the locks... and not give her the key...
Logically, yes. But that is very drastic. I don't even talk back to her and try my hardest to keep all my opinion to myself... My first choice is always non-confrontational. So that being said... changing the locks although very practical but something I can't bring myself to doing? Maybe after I kick my husband out, bah...
Anyway she can be very thick skin and thick headed. Pretense or on purpose, I am not sure. E.g. when I had a chance to get back the keys she plainly refused. When our mailbox changed keys she took my husband's keys to make a duplicate. Yes! Even mailbox keys!!
surely that will freak her out!
Or you apply webcam all over the house....whenever she touch something, call her/home and check what she looking for. -
3Boys:
That is way too controlling. You need to get your husband on your side on this first, then move to constrain your MIL.straffan23:
[quote=\"nightlone\"]think u should change the locks... and not give her the key...
Logically, yes. But that is very drastic. I don't even talk back to her and try my hardest to keep all my opinion to myself... My first choice is always non-confrontational. So that being said... changing the locks although very practical but something I can't bring myself to doing? Maybe after I kick my husband out, bah...
Anyway she can be very thick skin and thick headed. Pretense or on purpose, I am not sure. E.g. when I had a chance to get back the keys she plainly refused. When our mailbox changed keys she took my husband's keys to make a duplicate. Yes! Even mailbox keys!!
When a couple get married, they are menat to 'cleave' from their parents and form a new family unit. Your DH priority is to you, not his mum. Bash that thought into his thick skull if you need to......[/quote]I am sure her MIL is the kind who will cry and tell her DH she has wasted her life raising him, might as well die early etc etc. My own mother was like that, right down to the keys. Fortunately now she has found new obsessions.
Straffen, hang in there. To be honest if my MIL is like that, I would have lost my temper long ago. But it is my own mother... :faint: The guilt trip is definitely there. If I change the lock, she will hate me forever. But things are much better now, and fortunately my hubby doesn't mind. -
ammonite:
Your post reminded me of something. Since my mil installed cable TV, she is always in better mood
I am sure her MIL is the kind who will cry and tell her DH she has wasted her life raising him, might as well die early etc etc. My own mother was like that, right down to the keys. Fortunately now she has found new obsessions.
Straffen, hang in there. To be honest if my MIL is like that, I would have lost my temper long ago. But it is my own mother... :faint: The guilt trip is definitely there. If I change the lock, she will hate me forever. But things are much better now, and fortunately my hubby doesn't mind.
Even when we call, her tone is in a hurry (I think she wants to watch her TV). We are happy to pay for her cable TV 
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straffan23:
nightlone:
think u should change the locks... and not give her the key...
Logically, yes. But that is very drastic. I don't even talk back to her and try my hardest to keep all my opinion to myself... My first choice is always non-confrontational. So that being said... changing the locks although very practical but something I can't bring myself to doing? Maybe after I kick my husband out, bah...
Anyway she can be very thick skin and thick headed. Pretense or on purpose, I am not sure. E.g. when I had a chance to get back the keys she plainly refused. When our mailbox changed keys she took my husband's keys to make a duplicate. Yes! Even mailbox keys!!
i thot your reply would be \"she'll make a new set!\" or \"dh will give her the new keys!\"
well... drastic habits call for drastic measures... sometimes is called boh pian... :nunchuk: -
straffan23:
Anyway she can be very thick skin and thick headed. Pretense or on purpose, I am not sure. E.g. when I had a chance to get back the keys she plainly refused. When our mailbox changed keys she took my husband's keys to make a duplicate. Yes! Even mailbox keys!!
Electronic locks. you can always re-program anytime you want. :imcool: -
I like the above idea. U can change the password every now and then, and if she asks, u can say its for security measures and u forget to tell her. After a few times of unable to open the lock, prob she may call before she comes?
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