In-law problems?

[ammonite]

3Boys:

straffan23:

[quote=\"nightlone\"]think u should change the locks... and not give her the key...

Logically, yes. But that is very drastic. I don't even talk back to her and try my hardest to keep all my opinion to myself... My first choice is always non-confrontational. So that being said... changing the locks although very practical but something I can't bring myself to doing? Maybe after I kick my husband out, bah...

Anyway she can be very thick skin and thick headed. Pretense or on purpose, I am not sure. E.g. when I had a chance to get back the keys she plainly refused. When our mailbox changed keys she took my husband's keys to make a duplicate. Yes! Even mailbox keys!!

That is way too controlling. You need to get your husband on your side on this first, then move to constrain your MIL.

When a couple get married, they are menat to 'cleave' from their parents and form a new family unit. Your DH priority is to you, not his mum. Bash that thought into his thick skull if you need to......[/quote]I am sure her MIL is the kind who will cry and tell her DH she has wasted her life raising him, might as well die early etc etc. My own mother was like that, right down to the keys. Fortunately now she has found new obsessions.

Straffen, hang in there. To be honest if my MIL is like that, I would have lost my temper long ago. But it is my own mother... :faint: The guilt trip is definitely there. If I change the lock, she will hate me forever. But things are much better now, and fortunately my hubby doesn't mind.

[ngl2010]

ammonite:

I am sure her MIL is the kind who will cry and tell her DH she has wasted her life raising him, might as well die early etc etc. My own mother was like that, right down to the keys. Fortunately now she has found new obsessions.

Straffen, hang in there. To be honest if my MIL is like that, I would have lost my temper long ago. But it is my own mother... :faint: The guilt trip is definitely there. If I change the lock, she will hate me forever. But things are much better now, and fortunately my hubby doesn't mind.

Your post reminded me of something. Since my mil installed cable TV, she is always in better mood Even when we call, her tone is in a hurry (I think she wants to watch her TV). We are happy to pay for her cable TV

[nightlone]

straffan23:

nightlone:

think u should change the locks... and not give her the key...

Logically, yes. But that is very drastic. I don't even talk back to her and try my hardest to keep all my opinion to myself... My first choice is always non-confrontational. So that being said... changing the locks although very practical but something I can't bring myself to doing? Maybe after I kick my husband out, bah...

Anyway she can be very thick skin and thick headed. Pretense or on purpose, I am not sure. E.g. when I had a chance to get back the keys she plainly refused. When our mailbox changed keys she took my husband's keys to make a duplicate. Yes! Even mailbox keys!!

i thot your reply would be \"she'll make a new set!\" or \"dh will give her the new keys!\"

well... drastic habits call for drastic measures... sometimes is called boh pian... :nunchuk:

[hquek]

straffan23:

Anyway she can be very thick skin and thick headed. Pretense or on purpose, I am not sure. E.g. when I had a chance to get back the keys she plainly refused. When our mailbox changed keys she took my husband's keys to make a duplicate. Yes! Even mailbox keys!!

Electronic locks. you can always re-program anytime you want. :imcool:

[popireis]

I like the above idea. U can change the password every now and then, and if she asks, u can say its for security measures and u forget to tell her. After a few times of unable to open the lock, prob she may call before she comes?

[vinegar]

wow…really impress with all the "proposals" to stop the mil from entering the hse.


what abt any proposal to prevent the mil calling too often? my mum proposed my dh shld carry 2 phones.Off the one which she has the number when we r out running errands or traveling.

[hquek]

vinegar:

wow...really impress with all the \"proposals\" to stop the mil from entering the hse.


what abt any proposal to prevent the mil calling too often? my mum proposed my dh shld carry 2 phones.Off the one which she has the number when we r out running errands or traveling.

set phone on silent mode? Only prob is if office call. :idea:

[popireis]

ammonite:

My own mother was like that, right down to the keys. Fortunately now she has found new obsessions.


But it is my own mother... :faint: The guilt trip is definitely there. If I change the lock, she will hate me forever. But things are much better now, and fortunately my hubby doesn't mind.

Hi ammonite, I empathize with you, cos my own mum is the \"problem maker\". I (in fact all of us) dunno how to deal with her, and UNFORTUNATELY, she has not find any new \"hobbies\".

My own mum is somewhat like Vinegar's MIL. But none of us are so patient and accomodating to tolerate her nonsense. Now, she's into faking illness to get our attention. For many years, she has been complaining of multiple ailments. We had bring her to numerous doctors, physicians, therapists etc. One therapists finally told us her condition is not as bad as it looked, she jus wanted attention :slapshead:

In recent years, as she age abit (I say abit cos she's not really that old), she became worse. She is almost expecting us to be at her side 24/7, accompany her, entertain her etc. She is living with my \"healthier\" than her dad & bros yet still not satisfied. The married ones have family and work but she doesn't understand :frustrated: And, she doesn't want to have any social life, she just wants us....

[vinegar]

hquek:

vinegar:

wow...really impress with all the \"proposals\" to stop the mil from entering the hse.


what abt any proposal to prevent the mil calling too often? my mum proposed my dh shld carry 2 phones.Off the one which she has the number when we r out running errands or traveling.

set phone on silent mode? Only prob is if office call. :idea:

DH oredi set his phone to silent mode.He knows i'll be extremely unhappy whenever his mum call.Why? his mum calls for nothing...while we r in the mid of attending urgent matters.

[vinegar]

once my mum oso asked for my hse key.Die die i’ll not give her.


one day,she accidentally locked a back door which not suppose to lock,coz dh n me didn’t hv the key.

When we reached home,we’ve to get force opened it. That was a good excuse not to release to key to my mum.