In-law problems?

[Blobbi]

Maybe also, either in place of #7 or maybe this is #8, Accept. Some people are just like that. No use butting heads or getting high blood pressure. Just know what you’re dealing with and work around it because ultimately, you need to get things done.

[mummy of 2]

winth:

mummy of 2:

I feel that it is gd to separate the ILs and parents, to limit comparison (or competition).


My ILs and parents are on ok terms ie they don't hate each other and can chat when they see each other. But I hate to see my SIL's MIL.

Wow, you mean you even get to see your SIL's MIL???
That's a really 'distant' relationship!
But her MIL can't be that bad to you right?

Yup, there was once we signed up for a day trip to Malaysia, together with my ILs. Her ILs heard about it and wanted to tag along. I found her so irritating

Of cos we also see her now and then during special occasion - like my SIL's gal's first birthday. At least I can keep myself away from her during such events.

[buds]

winth:

mummy of 2:

I feel that it is gd to separate the ILs and parents, to limit comparison (or competition).


My ILs and parents are on ok terms ie they don't hate each other and can chat when they see each other. But I hate to see my SIL's MIL.

Wow, you mean you even get to see your SIL's MIL???
That's a really 'distant' relationship!
But her MIL can't be that bad to you right?

Yeah, boy... distant relationship awrite. :!:

I see my SIL's MIL too but she's been quite
cool so far. Let's hope can maintain
the relationship that way.

[mummy of 2]

Frankly I admire my SIL for being able to live with and tolerate her MIL. If my MIL is like hers, there will be WW3 everyday. Imagine she can irritate me during a day trip only, how to live with her :!:

[kiasimom]

Hmmm. I think I am from outer space :faint:


My parents don't like my MIL and the only time they see each other was during my wedding and that was also the last.
My parents do not agree with the way MIL handled her family as she was totally devoid of feelings!! MIL is a woman who ONLY loves herself.

I don't like my BIL and his family too for the same reason.
They live in their own world and totally disrregard people's feelings.

Although my sis and her hub have been married for years, my BIL never ever greeted my parents as \" Father, Mother.\"
He doesn't visit them during CNY and festive seasons too.

I may have to call him BIL here but I know nobody in my family treated him as BIL and he also never treated us as his ILs.

My poor sis has to be caught in between. But that's life, isn't it?

[winth]

mummy of 2:

Frankly I admire my SIL for being able to live with and tolerate her MIL. If my MIL is like hers, there will be WW3 everyday. Imagine she can irritate me during a day trip only, how to live with her :!:

Haha, there was once we go for A Farmosa trip with my new in-laws (that was like donkey years ago), we hired this van to drive us there with another Chinese Family of 3 (FIL's then business partner).

MIL spoke non-stop throughout the drive trip (I'm serious!, it's non-stop talking for at least 3 hours). And this mum from the Chinese Family cornered me and asked how I actually stand all those yakking and non-stop monologue. And whether I realised how fierce she is and how's my MIL's status in the family, as in, does everyone fear her? I smiled simply and just shrugged (U never know when people back-stab you when u make comments).

That was our only trip as a family or with this Chinese family. It was difficult to tolerate her talking cos it's real loud and there is no way anyone can talk from the noise. There were also quarrels and finger-pointing during that trip bec of MIL's behaviour that everyone was with black face and had a bitter taste after that.

Sad right?

[kiasimom]

When I was in USA with my MIL, the trick of self-defence I learnt is to SHUT UP. I only talk when necessary.


Till today, I still feel very much pressurised being in the same room and breathing the same air as her :faint:

[winth]

kiasimom:

When I was in USA with my MIL, the trick of self-defence I learnt is to SHUT UP. I only talk when necessary.

Yup. I learnt that trick too over the years.

kiasimom:

Till today, I still feel very much pressurised being in the same room and breathing the same air as her :faint:

U know I develop headaches when I'm due to visit her. It might be self-inflicted cos I can't stop thinking about her. There is also high intensity in my breathing too and I will lose my temper easily and I vent my frustrations on the boys unknowingly. DH's face gets real red and hot when he is driving over and the usual smiles he has disappear whenever he deals with his mum. It's only when the whole event/dinner is over, then we are back into our usual behaviour.

It's worse than going for the exams!!!

[mummy of 2]

At least my ILs are ok. I don’t mind going on holiday with them. We have gone on a few together, and the holidays are enjoyable.


Can’t say the same for my SIL’s MIL. She’s also the kind who keeeps talking and is really loud. What I can’t stand is she commented that it’s very troublesome to bring my DS1 along :x Excuse me, at no point did I ask you to help look after him on the trip, and neither did you offer so pls do not make such comment. Anyway my DS1 is very well-behaved by most people’s standard, so I can’t imagien what prompted her remark. i just smiled at her and did not say anything. Also it was meant to be our family trip, but YOU wanted to tag along.

But I did comment to my MIl that I did not like hearing that from her. Do not know if she passed on the message to SIL.

Anyway that’s the last trip I will ever take with her. Thank goodness it was only a day trip.

[Andaiz]

kiasimom:

When I was in USA with my MIL, the trick of self-defence I learnt is to SHUT UP. I only talk when necessary.

winth:

Yup. I learnt that trick too over the years.

Yeah, I TRY to but very difficult. I'm literally sick when I see her and SIL fawn over one another although they hate each other. I dunno how people can get this fake loh! :roll:

kiasimom:

Till today, I still feel very much pressurised being in the same room and breathing the same air as her :faint:

winth:

U know I develop headaches when I'm due to visit her. It might be self-inflicted cos I can't stop thinking about her. There is also high intensity in my breathing too and I will lose my temper easily and I vent my frustrations on the boys unknowingly. DH's face gets real red and hot when he is driving over and the usual smiles he has disappear whenever he deals with his mum. It's only when the whole event/dinner is over, then we are back into our usual behaviour.

It's worse than going for the exams!!!

That's psycho-somatic and you know something??? From this year on, it seems that DH and I are really exhibiting these signs too! I always need to practice lamaze breathing :stupid: :stupid: :stupid: in her presence and yet TRY not to sound as if I'm sighing. Aiyoh!