Does type of housing really matters?

[CookiesMonster]

VitoRelax:

Which school your DD is in ?

Cannot be the whole school, every student lives in private property, right ?

Anyway, there is nothing to ashamed of to be living in HDB !!

:imsorry: can't reveal for sensitivity issue

yeah, there's nothing shameful in living in HDB especially when it is much easier to maintain :lol:

[hquek]

Heard also stories where kids trade stories of what cars their parents drive etc. Actually I feel sorry for those parents who start shunning those who live in HDB flat - so shallow.


I live in HDB flat and am very proud that gahmen pay for the painting of exterior and much other things. I don't fancy getting into a huge debt just to stay in a gated community; neither do I want to keep such a big portion of money in bricks and mortar. Want to compare bank accounts?? (just being rude lah, sorry).

Honestly, it's probably insecure people that will do such 'wu liao' comparison. Someone may wear Armani, drive Lexus....but have debts up to his throat; while someone wearing 'panda brand' could have huge amounts in assets...take heed, he who loves to compare.

[CookiesMonster]

ks2me:

My kid mentioned they also liked to talk about where they travelled during school holidays.. I told her not to indulge in such talks too much cos there could be years we might not travel at all during school holidays.

hmm.......my kids are requested not to tag along for holidays especially where it involves cooping up in shopping malls. so what i did was to send them for holiday programs organised by CC during the last break. unfortunately during the last wk we had to drag them off for a \"commercial bldg\" holiday.

[CookiesMonster]

tamarind:

This is the main reason why I want to put my kids in a neighbourhood school, where most kids stay in HDB.

There is no end to comparison. Even if you say you live in a bungalow, someone else will say that they live in an even bigger bungalow. Besides comparing houses, they will also compare cars, clothes, shoes, etc, etc. This is something that I really detest.

I want my kids to grow up knowing what is hardship, so that they know how to work hard to get what they want. My boy asked me why his cousin's house has 3 storeys, and our flat is so small. I told him that if he studies hard, when he grows up, he can buy an even bigger house for mommy He immediately agrees

true, there's no end to such comparisions. ren bi ren, chi shi ren.

having grown without parents, i wanted to give them what i didn't hv. my kids hv experienced what it was like to grow up with a maid & only saw us on wkday's morning few yrs back & they detested it. thus, they were happy when we told them that by staying in a HDB, mummy can be a SAHM & both of us can be around for them during wkends.

[MMM]

We stay in private housing. Yes, we are working parents who need the dual income to sustain our lifetstyle. BUT we’ve good family support so kids are not left to maid only. In addition, we spend our evening and weekends with the kids. So despite that we have wii and PSP,etc… but we banned the kids from playing it from school days.


We’ve a mix of relatives who stay in HDB and pte housing. So the kids are used to it. In fact, my parents used to stay in a 3room HDB before we upgraded them to pte and the kids were brought up there so they got used to "squatting toilet" which was a good skill when they were in the temporary holding school.

I recall that in my P3’s class last year, the top boy come from a humble background. Stayed in HDB nearby the school and father is a bus driver. I told my girl that look at your friend, despite his "humble background", he is better than you because he works hard. That is more important as that means he will be more successful than you in the future.

The point I want to made is that it’s not the type of housing that matters. It’s the child’s capability and attitude in life that matters most. I’ve been through that, I went to a primary school where I am surrounded by rich friends. Their parents are mostly professionals and they would go to faraway land for holidays while the furthest I got to was Genting. I told myself that if I don’t well in life, I will never put my kids in the same primary school.

[skunk]

hquek:

Someone may wear Armani, drive Lexus....but have debts up to his throat; while someone wearing 'panda brand' could have huge amounts in assets...take heed, he who loves to compare.

U r still comparing, just comparing different things LOL

[Andaiz]

CookiesMonster, this thread has been very illuminating.


YEs, the girls tend to compare at a very early age. We live in a landed - the smallest house on the street... and one day, she came home asking for a mansion (coz they were discussing in school and some have their own rooms etc).

Anyway, I took this as a teachable moment and discussed living conditions, HDB, Condo vs Landed property. They visit gramps living in HDB and thoroughly enjoy their stays there because of the convenience, lifestyle etc...I bring them to HDB markets every weekend just so that they are grounded.

Housing doesn't maketh a man, Character does and our younger gen needs to know that (albeit there's loads to compare otherwise). It is a self-esteem thingy as they grow older though...so we need to keep them level-headed even if the rest of the world has theirs in the clouds! :love:

[CookiesMonster]

csc:

I observe that girls tend to be more sensitive towards such comments. Boys are non-chalant about them.


Last year, I stole a look at my son's class list and was amazed to know that 75% of his classmates live in landed property and condominiums - of which some names are reflected in the Monopoly game - Singapore version.

And he has been around to his classmates' houses while doing his projects. One day he commented that our house (about 2000 square feet) is actually very small, u know. (without batting an eyelid) I was like , huh?

Nevertheless, his classmates had been to our humble abode to do projects as well.

Also , some of his friends had professional chauffeurs waiting for them and fetching them after school. My hubby got angry one day when his son treated him like Ahmad. :lol:

Regardless of all these factors, my son has made all kind of friends from different social background - in fact, a lot of them are very humble and fun people to be with. He has no problem integrating with them.

He is having the time of his life there. :lol:

Just believe in ourselves and know that our worth and esteem is not measured by what we have but by what we are.

the day my kids treat me like Ahmad, is the day i will let them off the car & make them walk home.

yeah, my hope is for them to know that their worth is not measured by material wealth alone.

[mrswongtuition]

hquek:

Heard also stories where kids trade stories of what cars their parents drive etc. Actually I feel sorry for those parents who start shunning those who live in HDB flat - so shallow.


I live in HDB flat and am very proud that gahmen pay for the painting of exterior and much other things. I don't fancy getting into a huge debt just to stay in a gated community; neither do I want to keep such a big portion of money in bricks and mortar. Want to compare bank accounts?? (just being rude lah, sorry).

Honestly, it's probably insecure people that will do such 'wu liao' comparison. Someone may wear Armani, drive Lexus....but have debts up to his throat; while someone wearing 'panda brand' could have huge amounts in assets...take heed, he who loves to compare.

I have a friend who lives in a condo, drives a big Lexus and is always dressed in branded clothes/shoes.

When his mum fell seriously ill and needed a very expensive operation, he then admitted that he has no savings at all. All his pay was spent on keeping up with 'appearances'.

In the end, he brought his mum to Msia for treatment and had to sell away his 'assets' (more like liabilities).

However, I'm still keeping in touch with him because at least he woke up and looked after his mum instead of just ignore the mum to keep his extravagant lifestyle.

[daisyt]

CookiesMonster. I guess you dd's school must be those top school. I have heard of kids, at P3, comparing the type of cars the dads have :shock: :shock:


I encountered similar situation with you before and I explained a few times to dd, every family has their own lifestyle. Rich or poor is not determined by the type of house or car you own but the knowledge in your brain and character. In fact, she has witnessed herself, our relative or friends, big car, big house, but all just for show only. So its easier for her to understand this point.

No matter what school they go to, tend to have such kids but top schools would have more.

Now in Sec school, never heard she mention about such comparasion anymore.