Does type of housing really matters?
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skunk:
True lah, but then what I want to say is, never look down on someone in shabby clothes.hquek:
Someone may wear Armani, drive Lexus....but have debts up to his throat; while someone wearing 'panda brand' could have huge amounts in assets...take heed, he who loves to compare.
U r still comparing, just comparing different things LOL
I remembered that boss of shengshiong was interviewed and the reporter mentioned his 10 year old shirt with pen stain that he was still wearing.... -
pecalis:
:lol: i like yr answers. already first day i had to answer DD qtn on why she doesn't hv a hp whereas her fren has. & why her KorKor has. kids nowdays hv to convince them by reasoning.
Let me share my DD1's experience. My SIL brought her to Disney on Ice many yrs back and a girl asked her father why that girl (pointing to my DD1) is not wearing princess dress and a tiara. The man replied - \"oh, she's poor!\" My SIL was so fuming mad but she didn't confront him since he was just having a conversation with his own daughter.
When she was in lower pri, she happily and cheerfully told some bus mates that daddy cut her hair for her. The rude shock she had was - you mean you are so poor to afford a hair cut outside? She just didn't know how to respond. We taught her some funny answers and laughed it off - like to pay $20 to have your hairstyle? No thanks
Only last yr, at P5, DD1's classmate realised she didn't attend any tuition (except for Ch enrichment) - commented that she should not be in the best class. I assured DD1 that she is smart and don't need any extra tuition, anyway, help is always available from the adults in the house
She also noticed her classmates use printing paper for rough work and she asked them don't they recycle paper? Again, it was commented that she must be poor.
Finally, when they saw her mobile, they said it was so lame - must be very cheap! She could only answer that the phone is only for practical use - for communication with mummy. But of course, when she came home, she asked for a better phone. I told her my phone is even cheaper!
I always assured my children that we are not poor, neither are we very rich. However, we are blessed enough to have mummy stay home to look after them without having to worry about our finances. I drive them to sch in the morning, but I also train them to take bus home on their own if needed (around 2x a wk). We are living in a terrace house - my in-laws', but our home is a 5-rm flat in Punggol Also told my kids that we could have been richer, but we choose the present lifestyle so we could be with them and watch them grow up, instead of having them to be raised by maids.
My DS (P4) commented that those kids with lots of gadgets like PSP, it's prob because both parents are working and a way of compensating their children for not being able to spend more time with them
as for handheld gadgets, we didn't get any for them after explaining that their cousins' eyesight deteriotate & 1 of them even had to consult a specialist after becoming \"COCK-EYED\" fm excessive playing with PSP3.
though we did indulge them by getting a Wii set which is only played during sch hols. -
CookiesMonster:
eh...my daddy has always been my 'Ahmad', even up till today (when my car gives me problems). OOPPSSS!!
the day my kids treat me like Ahmad, is the day i will let them off the car & make them walk home.csc:
I observe that girls tend to be more sensitive towards such comments. Boys are non-chalant about them.
Last year, I stole a look at my son's class list and was amazed to know that 75% of his classmates live in landed property and condominiums - of which some names are reflected in the Monopoly game - Singapore version.
And he has been around to his classmates' houses while doing his projects. One day he commented that our house (about 2000 square feet) is actually very small, u know. (without batting an eyelid) I was like , huh?
Nevertheless, his classmates had been to our humble abode to do projects as well.
Also , some of his friends had professional chauffeurs waiting for them and fetching them after school. My hubby got angry one day when his son treated him like Ahmad. :lol:
Regardless of all these factors, my son has made all kind of friends from different social background - in fact, a lot of them are very humble and fun people to be with. He has no problem integrating with them.
He is having the time of his life there. :lol:
Just believe in ourselves and know that our worth and esteem is not measured by what we have but by what we are.
yeah, my hope is for them to know that their worth is not measured by material wealth alone.
But he's never complained and always fetched us with love. To him, 1 minute in the car together is better than nothing if I take public transport. So even when my school was just 2 bus stops away from my parent's place, my dad still woke up early in the morning to fetch me.
To him, it's bonding time. & my hb loves this about my dad & is learning from him now He's my son's 'Ahmad'. & my hb actually enjoys it cos he gets to hear my boy sing and tell him stories during the journey (my boy is very animated and loves to tell stories).
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hquek:
....while someone wearing 'panda brand' could have huge amounts in assets...
I actually met someone like that. He and his wife & 2 kids stayed in a 3-rm HDB in redhill but owns some 6 condos. -
hquek:
:lol: hehehe i also agree. so we ended giving them \"panda brand\" not even BATA for their sch shoes. we only buy them slightly better quality stuff during xmas or birthday.Heard also stories where kids trade stories of what cars their parents drive etc. Actually I feel sorry for those parents who start shunning those who live in HDB flat - so shallow.
I live in HDB flat and am very proud that gahmen pay for the painting of exterior and much other things. I don't fancy getting into a huge debt just to stay in a gated community; neither do I want to keep such a big portion of money in bricks and mortar. Want to compare bank accounts?? (just being rude lah, sorry).
Honestly, it's probably insecure people that will do such 'wu liao' comparison. Someone may wear Armani, drive Lexus....but have debts up to his throat; while someone wearing 'panda brand' could have huge amounts in assets...take heed, he who loves to compare. -
My SIL who bought a condo in Hougang already told her mother not to break her cutlery (anyone who has broken cutlery before, please teach me how it is done) cos they were real expensive. And that it’s really so difficult to book a BBQ pit in their condo, cos it’s so full up and they needed to go on waiting list, blah blah… And if we wanted free swimming, we could always go swimming in her condo blah blah stuff.
I dunno, I think people really think living in private housing is real darn superior.
We drove a van for the past 7 years cos we were just happy with our mode of transport and dun see the need to get a car. And she looked down on my husband (her big brother), thinking that her then bf is much superior cos they were looking at condos… for their first house. I think it was only last year when her now DH got into the same industry as DH, now she knows the real difference between her DH’s post and her brother’s rank.
It was only when we changed our car and type of housing last year that shut her mouth up and basically that was bec we find it more worth it as the prices were good. And we are like, what cutlery? What condo? What car? Let’s have a nice BBQ at my porch anytime u want it. That really shut her up for good. People already compare within a family, so we can’t just blame the children, it’s always the parents who expose them to such upbringing.
We deprive our boys since young and give them very little toys. We do splurge on quality things that can be really expensive when we see a need. So somehow, DS1 believes in ‘delayed reward system’ where he doesn’t mind saving up and studying/completing my homework as early as he possibly could so that he can play in the later part of the day. We let him choose what he wants to buy with a limited amount of pocket money so that he still has a choice, but not to the far extent that he could afford the expensive food in the canteen. He gets to choose if he wants to use up his $1 or buy an 80c noodle and save his 20c up. He has nothing extra to get him drinks, so he only drink from his water bottle. Till now, that kinda works for him, and his little piggy bank gets 20c perk everyday after his school and he’s real proud now that it’s his money.
He attends a neighbour school too, I think that did help too cos we don’t have to fight off snobbish parents who usually have snobbish children. I remember last time I was at Shichida when DS2 that a parent was telling a teacher about a $20/30 haircut for his toddler. I was like… :!: siao ar, he just cut up his own $20/30. -
mrswongtuition:
i used to hv a colleague who stayed in river valley & drove a TC car but got no $ for lunch. always borrow but nvr rtn. last straw came when he call me to borrow $5 to top up petrol so that he cld get his car home.
I have a friend who lives in a condo, drives a big Lexus and is always dressed in branded clothes/shoes.
When his mum fell seriously ill and needed a very expensive operation, he then admitted that he has no savings at all. All his pay was spent on keeping up with 'appearances'.
In the end, he brought his mum to Msia for treatment and had to sell away his 'assets' (more like liabilities).
However, I'm still keeping in touch with him because at least he woke up and looked after his mum instead of just ignore the mum to keep his extravagant lifestyle. -
tankee:
I actually met someone like that. He and his wife & 2 kids stayed in a 3-rm HDB in redhill but owns some 6 condos.
To me this is the worse kind of folks. Got money dunno how to enjoy type. Alamak, affordability aside, there's no denying there's more comfort, amenities and security in the latter. 6 condos, can stay in one mah. -
mrswongtuition:
i am only on Ahmad duty on wkends or overseas trip. i do agree road trips are great bonding time but most of the time, they ended up playing with each other of fallg asleep like DH.
eh...my daddy has always been my 'Ahmad', even up till today (when my car gives me problems). OOPPSSS!!
But he's never complained and always fetched us with love. To him, 1 minute in the car together is better than nothing if I take public transport. So even when my school was just 2 bus stops away from my parent's place, my dad still woke up early in the morning to fetch me.
To him, it's bonding time. & my hb loves this about my dad & is learning from him now He's my son's 'Ahmad'. & my hb actually enjoys it cos he gets to hear my boy sing and tell him stories during the journey (my boy is very animated and loves to tell stories). -
Once, we have a serious family meeting discussing if to get a car or not. After weighing the pros and cons, our needs and how worth it is in terms of $, dd help us to conclude, we don't need it, although the main objective of getting one is to ferry her around school and other events.
I always make it a point, she is involved with the discussion and help to make decision on family purchases. Eg changing to a bigger house (idea was drop too), eating out in restaurant, buy some items for luxury purpose (even my own personal item), buying gifts for our friends, making donations ...
Once hubby bought me something expensive as a gift and being very happy, I suggested to eat at a restaurant. She stopped me, saying \"We have just spend so much money today, lets eat in food court.\" I feel so :oops: So end up in food court lor ....
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