In-law problems?
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buds:
buds,Beats me really.. :roll:
Think she just simply detest me.
And it's not that i mistreat her or anything..
I just want her to be my mom too.
But now, all the feeling's lost la really.
I just want to get out of this house.
Just looking at her brings back all the unhappiness
of the years i had to endure her nonsensical charades
and back stabbing pain... the interference... the wanting
to break me and hubs up. Just really fed-up with all this oredi.
must shake hand with you already.. though its for this kind of wrong reasons... -
auntieM:
auntieM,My MIL ruined my wedding day.
She brushed my mum aside and ask her to leave early at dinner. She 'butterfly' her way throughout the day and brought along the very important China girlfriend of her elder son for serious introduction to everyone.
My mum cried, and it didn't feel like my wedding at all.
More than a decade later, the wedding photos still never made it out of the box it came in. I have not watched the video till this day and there are no wedding pictures around the house. No one got any copies cause I didn't even look at them.
so sorry to know that! and your mum just left early? why so ting hua? I really don't know what she wanna achieve by doing that lor. china girlfriend so good huh? so proud with future china DIL meh??
:? -
auntieM:
Wow Buds, really salute your 'ren'.... What does MILs wants to achieve when they do this to their family?
auntieM, your posts are very illuminating and humourous to boot!
Not sure about what MIL's wanting to \"achieve\" when they pick fights or basically make live difficult for DIL, but truly, it could very well stamp from their need for control. Now her little boy has grown up, chosen a bride for himself and has his own family, she's lost CONTROL
over the kid.
MIL's probably also suffered under their own MIL (i.e., GMIL) so....it's pay-back time mah! :siao: For me, and my 3 gals, I told DH last night after a particularly bad in-yer-face encounter wid MIL, I'd want to gain a son - or 3, God-willing; so why would I antagonize my SIL's?
The buck stops here, as far as I am concerned! :celebrate: -
Andaiz:
Yes, very likely control issues, and controlling behaviours stem from........insecurities.
auntieM, your posts are very illuminating and humourous to boot!
Not sure about what MIL's wanting to \"achieve\" when they pick fights or basically make live difficult for DIL, but truly, it could very well stamp from their need for control. Now her little boy has grown up, chosen a bride for himself and has his own family, she's lost CONTROL over the kid.
I get the sense a lot of MILs have insecurities about their own lives, and it really transmits, particularly to the DIL who is preceived as the interloper. -
very sad isn;t it? I hope it won't become an viscous cycle, that we later on will become our MIL...
gosh, such a scary thought!!!
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3Boys:
MILs come into any familial relationship fraught with baggage (we all do, actually!
Yes, very likely control issues, and controlling behaviours stem from........insecurities.
I get the sense a lot of MILs have insecurities about their own lives, and it really transmits, particularly to the DIL who is preceived as the interloper.
) and insecurities being one of them...oh yes 3Boys, the son can do no wrong...if he'd been mama's boy before, now is the time he stands up - for himself (could have been repressed? 
) and wham! Bammmm :!: gasp, it's the DIL who's to blame.
Why do MIL of guys not have the same issue? My 2 cents?! :roll: there's only one guy and they're NOT fighting over him nor demanding his alligence lah! :stupid: :stupid: :stupid: -
Hi Tree nymph, no my mummy didn’t leave early, I didn’t allow that… …But the "damage’ done already.
She recently plan her own anniversary and birthday dinner at some hotel and wanted my son to MC for her…My hubby said no, I told her me son no circus monkey.
We were all late for the dinner and miss some good show.
I believe she told even number tables we organised the dinner, so filial;
Then the odd number tables we didn’t lift a finger to help at all. So confused me dun know how to ‘’‘act’.
Sigh -
auntieM:
:? :? auntieM, don't quite understand this odd and even number tables. Care to elaborate? Thanks!
We were all late for the dinner and miss some good show.
I believe she told even number tables we organised the dinner, so filial;
Then the odd number tables we didn't lift a finger to help at all. So confused me dun know how to '''act'.
Sigh -
janet_lee88:
Tree nymph,Tree nymph,
I know your FIL is begging you to stay with them, but you need to keep your sanity for a LONG time.
I totally agree with janet, it's your life! and you've already given 10 good years away, how long do u wan to tahan? Call it selfish, but i have come to a point that a happy family came from a happy mother (the so-called 'nu zhu ren' lor)
if you don't safeguard your own happiness, who will? i believe yr kids feel the tension between the adults, too.
Bite yr teeth and do what u think is right, for yrself, kids and yr hubby (believe me, things turn out better when couple don't face in-laws problems as day-in-day-out issues)
May the strong women power be with you :hugs: -
auntieM:
Well now I look at my wedding prep up to my wedding day as interesting.My MIL ruined my wedding day.
She brushed my mum aside and ask her to leave early at dinner. She 'butterfly' her way throughout the day and brought along the very important China girlfriend of her elder son for serious introduction to everyone.
My mum cried, and it didn't feel like my wedding at all.
More than a decade later, the wedding photos still never made it out of the box it came in. I have not watched the video till this day and there are no wedding pictures around the house. No one got any copies cause I didn't even look at them.
Younger Sis was saying she did not want to have a wedding dinner, just ROM and be done but her DH wants a dinner. She cited my nightmare of a wedding as an example. I told her well, put it this way, 10, 20yrs down the road, I can say this to my DD and DS, 'whao, you mummy's wedding ah, super happening, ....'. What can you tell your kids about your wedding, 'we ROM and that's it' end of story. So now my younger sis is preparing for her wedding.
Anyways, MIL threatened to commit suicide, FIL wanted to boycott our wedding if we did not give in to some demands, they refuse to distribute the invitation cards cos they did not like the format and told us only 2 weeks before the actual day, my aunt and DH's aunt almost quarelled over certain customs during the tea ceremony, MIL demanded extra tables at the last minute and we had to uninvite our own friends to accomodate her demands and in the end, she had 2 empty tables, PILs were late for our dinner, the videographer that FIL hired argued with our photographer, MIL reluctant to take photos . Not the end, they kept some of the Ang Baos that guests gave us, a whole box of our wedding favours went missing cos MIL told her nephew he can have it without consulting us, at the end of the whole event, instead of leaving to let us rest , PILs came to our room god knows for what.
These are my memories of my wedding, but at least, I have something to relate to my kids. That's how I see it these days. No point being unhappy about what has already happened. DH and I can even take out the photos and laugh over some of it.
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