In-law problems?

[auntieM]

Hi Tree nymph, no my mummy didn’t leave early, I didn’t allow that… …But the "damage’ done already.

She recently plan her own anniversary and birthday dinner at some hotel and wanted my son to MC for her…My hubby said no, I told her me son no circus monkey.
We were all late for the dinner and miss some good show.
I believe she told even number tables we organised the dinner, so filial;
Then the odd number tables we didn’t lift a finger to help at all. So confused me dun know how to ‘’‘act’.
Sigh

[Andaiz]

auntieM:

We were all late for the dinner and miss some good show.
I believe she told even number tables we organised the dinner, so filial;
Then the odd number tables we didn't lift a finger to help at all. So confused me dun know how to '''act'.
Sigh

:? :? auntieM, don't quite understand this odd and even number tables. Care to elaborate? Thanks!

[orangeme]

janet_lee88:

Tree nymph,

I know your FIL is begging you to stay with them, but you need to keep your sanity for a LONG time.

Tree nymph,
I totally agree with janet, it's your life! and you've already given 10 good years away, how long do u wan to tahan? Call it selfish, but i have come to a point that a happy family came from a happy mother (the so-called 'nu zhu ren' lor)

if you don't safeguard your own happiness, who will? i believe yr kids feel the tension between the adults, too.

Bite yr teeth and do what u think is right, for yrself, kids and yr hubby (believe me, things turn out better when couple don't face in-laws problems as day-in-day-out issues)

May the strong women power be with you :hugs:

[Funz]

auntieM:

My MIL ruined my wedding day.

She brushed my mum aside and ask her to leave early at dinner. She 'butterfly' her way throughout the day and brought along the very important China girlfriend of her elder son for serious introduction to everyone.
My mum cried, and it didn't feel like my wedding at all.
More than a decade later, the wedding photos still never made it out of the box it came in. I have not watched the video till this day and there are no wedding pictures around the house. No one got any copies cause I didn't even look at them.

Well now I look at my wedding prep up to my wedding day as interesting.
Younger Sis was saying she did not want to have a wedding dinner, just ROM and be done but her DH wants a dinner. She cited my nightmare of a wedding as an example. I told her well, put it this way, 10, 20yrs down the road, I can say this to my DD and DS, 'whao, you mummy's wedding ah, super happening, ....'. What can you tell your kids about your wedding, 'we ROM and that's it' end of story. So now my younger sis is preparing for her wedding.

Anyways, MIL threatened to commit suicide, FIL wanted to boycott our wedding if we did not give in to some demands, they refuse to distribute the invitation cards cos they did not like the format and told us only 2 weeks before the actual day, my aunt and DH's aunt almost quarelled over certain customs during the tea ceremony, MIL demanded extra tables at the last minute and we had to uninvite our own friends to accomodate her demands and in the end, she had 2 empty tables, PILs were late for our dinner, the videographer that FIL hired argued with our photographer, MIL reluctant to take photos . Not the end, they kept some of the Ang Baos that guests gave us, a whole box of our wedding favours went missing cos MIL told her nephew he can have it without consulting us, at the end of the whole event, instead of leaving to let us rest , PILs came to our room god knows for what.

These are my memories of my wedding, but at least, I have something to relate to my kids. That's how I see it these days. No point being unhappy about what has already happened. DH and I can even take out the photos and laugh over some of it.

[janet88]

Orangeme/Funz,

Planning a wedding brings out the worse…my parents let hubby’s side decide on the exchange of gifts, but wedding dinner was something I decided with hubby.

I am fortunate my hubby is not the eldest son…or else even the children’s names would be decided by them. Anyway, my SIL chose the name for her daughter, and so I got to decide on the names for my own kids. I told hubby I do not want to live with my son when he gets married…or else he will be sandwiched.

Tree Nymph,
Please find your own place soon. Or else you will lose your sanity staying any longer. I guess if you and hubby get a flat of your own, you will truly enjoy having a sense of belonging.

[auntieM]

:lol: Hi Andaiz...MIL invited about 20 table of guests for dinner. She of course 'butterfly' the whole evening and was sending out two sets of gossip.

1) We were very filial and organised the event for her,
2) No one helped her and she did arrangements all by herself.....
Straight away people start coming around to find out more....confused too. I was just kidding, the part about which story to tell may be decided by which table they are seated at; thus odd n even :oops:

[janet88]

Butterfly around ? I can imagine the scenario. Very sickening.

Hubby’s mother is good at this 一哭二闹. That’s why she always gets her way. She is the laziest grandmother…doesn’t bother about grandchildren.
All she is interested is her monthly allowance.

[Andaiz]

auntieM:

:lol: Hi Andaiz...MIL invited about 20 table of guests for dinner. She of course 'butterfly' the whole evening and was sending out two sets of gossip.

1) We were very filial and organised the event for her,
2) No one helped her and she did arrangements all by herself.....
Straight away people start coming around to find out more....confused too. I was just kidding, the part about which story to tell may be decided by which table they are seated at; thus odd n even :oops:

:idea: Aiyoh, your MIL, auntieM goes to the same Postgrad as mine - the School of Confuse others so that they don't realize I'm confused! :!:

So no one knows for sure which to believe...does she? My MIL goes around telling everybody that I'm this \"superwoman\" takes care of the kids while her dear son (DH) slogs outside ( I work full-time and contribute to family too, okay!?) then she whacks me with this \"why you wear pants in family and feed the children..... I brought my boys up with ... and no problems wha!\" :roll:

I just bite my tongue and that I keep my cool loh. Pick your battles, auntieM the truth is out there and as long as your conscience is clear....haiyah, it's her mouth loh!

[janet88]

Those sickening ILs who think they are so big deal at sons’ wedding dinners. :x Unless they pay for the whole dinner and every other expense.

[TTLauPeh]

Compared to many of the MILs described here, my mum is an angel. Treats her four DILs like her own daughters and her SILs like her own sons. Even insisted on doing our laundry and cooking dinner when my wife and I stayed with my parents for three months when we were in between homes. My dad’s the same. On the other hand, to my PILs (ie, my wife’s parents), I’m just the guy who took away their eldest of their three daughters.