How do you deal with arrogant/how lian people around you?

[janet88]

The mother told me her daughter cried in school because she was stressed and Chinese teacher telephoned her.


Then the father now seems to talk insensitively and shoots off his mouth? I pity the girl for being so busy with all the extra activities, but just cannot understand why is the father such a show off now ???
Trust me, I will minimize contact as much as possible. Hubby is affected but yet cannot do anything.

[2ppaamm]

janet_lee88:

The mother told me her daughter cried in school because she was stressed and Chinese teacher telephoned her.


Then the father now seems to talk insensitively and shoots off his mouth? I pity the girl for being so busy with all the extra activities, but just cannot understand why is the father such a show off now ???
Trust me, I will minimize contact as much as possible. Hubby is affected but yet cannot do anything.

People brag because they feel inferior.

[Blobbi]

tankee:

If it was me, I would politely tell them off. This TV actor would have to save his face and apologies.

I did! Actor just flashed his teeth to a safe distance while aunty, you know aunty lah. Scold back! That's why, never again!

[mitten]

Wanna to share last year's experience. When my DD to decide whether to take HCL, she chose NO to HCL. As a mother, I was upset because all my friends' DD are taking HCL :shock: My \"then\" thought was my DD is going to lose out to them if she does not want to pick up HCL! PLUS most of her classmates are taking!!! (BTW my DD is in a good school)

I couldn't accept that initially, but after talking to her I decided to respect her decision. Well, I tell you, my SIL's DD is taking HCL and they are putting remark like \" your girl chinese no good meh? \" and \"why?? you should push her to the very best\" ARRGGGhhhhhh :x I was then under attack by these comments and went through the stress.... I chose not to put accross my points to them for I knew that \"these\" people have no understanding and the thoughtfulness towards their children. I, on the other hand, I respect my DD's choice and hope that she is under good care for her upcoming PSLE. Personally, I am a mother who do not believe in tuition because tuition seems to cater for children who are academically handdicap. (no offence to those who have) My point is that children learn at them on pace and they are being taught well by school teachers. I remember once my son's teaher complained about my son's capability to read when he was just in K1. Do you know how I answered to the teacher?? My answer to her was :\" I've sent my son to school to learn and pick up skills, not going to school to display what he has learnt from home! If going to school is to display on what he has learnt from home, then all the schools should be terminated. Or may as well he don't attend school to pay premium school fees.\" And the teacher got my point and no more complains. Now, my son in primary school he excels in his studies. I told my children that all i want them to pick up knowledge and skills from teachers and friends, NOT in school to \"hao lian\" or showcase to people on what you already knew. At home, I just go through what they have learnt from school and assessment books for 1 hour only from monday to thursday and that it!! Both children are doing perfect work and cultivating good learning attitudes. To me this way, not only they love schools and studies, the most important is enjoying they are suppose to do. I don really want to stress my children as I have seen my experienced fellow friends had done that and the results were not as good as they wanted. It just simply backfired. I was stress when I was in school so I do know the pain. These pains do not gain any good gains. So, to me, enjoy life and enjoy what you are doing, don like it? then stop it. Now my son is picking up cello as he wants to learn so I let him, I love watch my children doing things which they enjoy learning! My DD is in a girls' school and she enjoys her everyday in school. She volunteered to teachers that I would like to stay for remedial even she does not need to do so. But I let her stayed for any remedial classes even she does not need to so. She told me she wants to learn and drill her teachers.

[janet88]

2ppaamm,

I don't know about the inferior part, but the way he brags is hard to take.
Come on, there is no reason to do that to own family members. :siao:
My son alson in SAP school but I see no need to say anything.

[jedamum]

Parent A : I send my kids to ABC Tuition centre and XYZ enrichment so that they can get A++++ results leh...


Parent B : I did not send my kids to any tuition centre and they still excel in their studies leh...

Which of the above is a hao lian parent?

some people may intepret Parent A as sharing their resources, some may say that he is haolian. some people may intepret Parent B as sharing the benefits of no tuition, but some may say that he is haolian.

personal opinion is that perception of haolian-ness is in the eye of the recipient.

[janet88]

I’ve had been compared with my cousin since childhood days…what words I could read in kindergarten, then followed which stream I was in, then boyfriend. Yes, you read correctly. BOYFRIEND - occupation, whether his eyes are big etc etc. :x :x


My son’s homework seems to have piled up this year, as such I have informed his CL tutor not to give him so much.

[hquek]

Blobbi:

I did! Actor just flashed his teeth to a safe distance while aunty, you know aunty lah. Scold back! That's why, never again!

Should have told the auntie, 'lao hong' actor also give face....imagine the whole of tcs come down....she is there to earn money or give money?

I would be :x too!

[hquek]

mitten:

SIL's DD is taking HCL and they are putting remark like \" your girl chinese no good meh? \" and \"why?? you should push her to the very best\"

haiz...sometimes family are the worst commentators. Please lah, to each his own. HCL will only be of use if the sec school offers HCL - else, what is it? 'pang sai chua' (toilet paper). I remember an auntie who always said that academic qualifications are like toilet paper...(her kids are highly successful persons). And I feel she's right. Once you come to working world, it's EQ, not PSLE that counts.

mitten:

My answer to her was :\" I've sent my son to school to learn and pick up skills, not going to school to display what he has learnt from home! If going to school is to display on what he has learnt from home, then all the schools should be terminated. Or may as well he don't attend school to pay premium school fees.\"

:udawoman:

[janet88]

hquek,

Family members can be the worst lot. So what in SAP school, very busy with CCA 3-4x a week and on top of that tuition and homework ? Who suffers ? The poor kid.

Moderation is the key issue here. As parents, we should look at our children’s strengths and weaknesses. If his/her weakness is related to school and tuition is required, no choice got to take it. Weekdays, my son is busy with his school homework and there isn’t time to learn his 听写/默写, EL spelling and dictation. So got to do that on weekends.
Next yr, will get him to drop Higher CL so as not to spend too much time on HCL.