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    How do you deal with arrogant/how lian people around you?

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    • B Offline
      Blobbi
      last edited by

      tankee:


      If it was me, I would politely tell them off. This TV actor would have to save his face and apologies.
      I did! Actor just flashed his teeth to a safe distance while aunty, you know aunty lah. Scold back! That's why, never again!

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      • M Offline
        mitten
        last edited by

        Wanna to share last year's experience. When my DD to decide whether to take HCL, she chose NO to HCL. As a mother, I was upset because all my friends' DD are taking HCL :shock: My \"then\" thought was my DD is going to lose out to them if she does not want to pick up HCL! PLUS most of her classmates are taking!!! (BTW my DD is in a good school)

        I couldn't accept that initially, but after talking to her I decided to respect her decision. Well, I tell you, my SIL's DD is taking HCL and they are putting remark like \" your girl chinese no good meh? \" and \"why?? you should push her to the very best\" ARRGGGhhhhhh :x I was then under attack by these comments and went through the stress.... I chose not to put accross my points to them for I knew that \"these\" people have no understanding and the thoughtfulness towards their children. I, on the other hand, I respect my DD's choice and hope that she is under good care 🙏 for her upcoming PSLE. Personally, I am a mother who do not believe in tuition because tuition seems to cater for children who are academically handdicap. (no offence to those who have) My point is that children learn at them on pace and they are being taught well by school teachers. I remember once my son's teaher complained about my son's capability to read when he was just in K1. Do you know how I answered to the teacher?? My answer to her was :\" I've sent my son to school to learn and pick up skills, not going to school to display what he has learnt from home! If going to school is to display on what he has learnt from home, then all the schools should be terminated. Or may as well he don't attend school to pay premium school fees.\" And the teacher got my point and no more complains. Now, my son in primary school he excels in his studies. I told my children that all i want them to pick up knowledge and skills from teachers and friends, NOT in school to \"hao lian\" or showcase to people on what you already knew. At home, I just go through what they have learnt from school and assessment books for 1 hour only from monday to thursday and that it!! Both children are doing perfect work and cultivating good learning attitudes. To me this way, not only they love schools and studies, the most important is enjoying they are suppose to do. I don really want to stress my children as I have seen my experienced fellow friends had done that and the results were not as good as they wanted. It just simply backfired. I was stress when I was in school so I do know the pain. These pains do not gain any good gains. So, to me, enjoy life and enjoy what you are doing, don like it? then stop it. Now my son is picking up cello as he wants to learn so I let him, I love watch my children doing things which they enjoy learning! My DD is in a girls' school and she enjoys her everyday in school. She volunteered to teachers that I would like to stay for remedial even she does not need to do so. But I let her stayed for any remedial classes even she does not need to so. She told me she wants to learn and drill her teachers. 😉

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        • janet88J Offline
          janet88
          last edited by

          2ppaamm,

          I don't know about the inferior part, but the way he brags is hard to take.
          Come on, there is no reason to do that to own family members. :siao:
          My son alson in SAP school but I see no need to say anything.

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          • jedamumJ Offline
            jedamum
            last edited by

            Parent A : I send my kids to ABC Tuition centre and XYZ enrichment so that they can get A++++ results leh...


            Parent B : I did not send my kids to any tuition centre and they still excel in their studies leh...

            Which of the above is a hao lian parent? 😐

            some people may intepret Parent A as sharing their resources, some may say that he is haolian. some people may intepret Parent B as sharing the benefits of no tuition, but some may say that he is haolian.

            personal opinion is that perception of haolian-ness is in the eye of the recipient.

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            • janet88J Offline
              janet88
              last edited by

              I’ve had been compared with my cousin since childhood days…what words I could read in kindergarten, then followed which stream I was in, then boyfriend. Yes, you read correctly. BOYFRIEND - occupation, whether his eyes are big etc etc. :x :x


              My son’s homework seems to have piled up this year, as such I have informed his CL tutor not to give him so much.

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              • H Offline
                hquek
                last edited by

                Blobbi:

                I did! Actor just flashed his teeth to a safe distance while aunty, you know aunty lah. Scold back! That's why, never again!
                Should have told the auntie, 'lao hong' actor also give face....imagine the whole of tcs come down....she is there to earn money or give money?

                I would be :x too!

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                • H Offline
                  hquek
                  last edited by

                  mitten:
                  SIL's DD is taking HCL and they are putting remark like \" your girl chinese no good meh? \" and \"why?? you should push her to the very best\"

                  haiz...sometimes family are the worst commentators. Please lah, to each his own. HCL will only be of use if the sec school offers HCL - else, what is it? 'pang sai chua' (toilet paper). I remember an auntie who always said that academic qualifications are like toilet paper...(her kids are highly successful persons). And I feel she's right. Once you come to working world, it's EQ, not PSLE that counts.
                  mitten:
                  My answer to her was :\" I've sent my son to school to learn and pick up skills, not going to school to display what he has learnt from home! If going to school is to display on what he has learnt from home, then all the schools should be terminated. Or may as well he don't attend school to pay premium school fees.\"
                  :udawoman:

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                  • janet88J Offline
                    janet88
                    last edited by

                    hquek,

                    Family members can be the worst lot. So what in SAP school, very busy with CCA 3-4x a week and on top of that tuition and homework ? Who suffers ? The poor kid.

                    Moderation is the key issue here. As parents, we should look at our children’s strengths and weaknesses. If his/her weakness is related to school and tuition is required, no choice got to take it. Weekdays, my son is busy with his school homework and there isn’t time to learn his 听写/默写, EL spelling and dictation. So got to do that on weekends.
                    Next yr, will get him to drop Higher CL so as not to spend too much time on HCL.

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                    • H Offline
                      hquek
                      last edited by

                      janet_lee88, agree.


                      I once remember that a cousin in law asked which hospital I delivered in. When I said KKH, she rolled her eyes and said, I would never go there (meaning, Mt E etc is the place to be).

                      Please lah…I compared the amounts I paid KKH, it was similar to what my friend paid for private doctor at Mt E. Chey!

                      1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                      • FunzF Offline
                        Funz
                        last edited by

                        Nowadays, parents seem to be singing their children’s praises. In the past, especially with my parents’ generation, they are always saying the opposite. Things like, this one ah very naughty, or very lazy, can pass happy liao. Then PSLE, O LEVEL, A LEVEL score all As. And they still say, results okay only lah. Cannot praise too much, wait too complacent.


                        I agree with Jedamum that whether one is percieved as haolian is dependant on the recipient.

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