Time schedule & life of Secondary School

[daisyt]

kuzco:

Agree with you, julongmum. This is my real fear.
Anyway, I am keeping a close watch and will not hesitate to block websites when the time comes.

:celebrate:

[dunnoleh]

girlmum:

... My DDs are not allowed to use the com without permission.

... She blew the sms limit a few times, 1st mth DH paid with warning, 2 & 3rd mths she paid. Now guai guai within limit.
... I will keep her Hp when she is revising for exams.
... Told her if grades Ok, mum will be Ok/yes mum, grades not Ok, mum will be Not Ok/No mum. Want new CD, grades Ok, I'm Ok.

girlmum, I like your style!

:celebrate:

[Fairy]

daisyt:

Hi Fairy, I thought I am the only one having this msn, facebook and blog problems. .... No choice, my hubby did something very drastic - block them in her laptop. I have no other options as I am seeing her BEGINNING to get addicted. I know this created some unhappiness but slowly, I can see, she is beginning to understand our good intention.

Hi daisyt, Hi All who gave suggestions,

Sorry I just saw your responses to my request for advice. I definitely can't block sites like facebook, msn, chats and lately, class blogs. Firstly, my ds is very tech savy. He has his way to get around. Secondly, they will definitely create a scene, if you understand what I meant. Not that I'm worried about their outbursts, I do not wish to get to the situation where the tension/conflict is too much. It's difficult to unwind them and it's not good if you're trying to understand them, 'be their friend' (you know, at this age, FRIENDS IS EVERYTHING, particularly for girls) and their confidante. Once the trust (ie. trust that we really understand them and is on their side.... sigh ) is broken, it will be difficult to build up again.

Especially to my dd, ALL AND SUNDRY are doing this, so, what's the big deal? :x

kuzco:

Hi Fairy. Yes, it has been a war of words and tension in the air since school started. How have your ds and dd been doing in their school work so far?

My thinking is that if they are able to produce results (in their school work), then I will let it be. However, if grades suffer, then something must be done.

kuzco,
Isn't it a bit too late to wait half a year to see if their results has suffered due to time spent online? Moreover, I don't really like the idea of using results as a trade off for computer time, just like I'll never use monetary reward to coax my kids to study.

westmom:

I think being \"prepared\" works for me. I've been warned by many of the negative effects of facebook/online chatting/games/hp msg on their lives (including academic aspects). I bring up all these worries/concerns (with stories of others ..to show dd how bad such influences are & consequences) and therefore I inform her that I need to take measure as \"responsible\" mother to curb such activies. I sought her understanding. After PSLE, I allowed her freely to play, facebooking and chat but I already pre-warned her beforehand that non-sch related activities on computer/hp will taken away when Sec 1 school starts. This makes it easier to implement when the time comes. I told her that the hp is only for emergencies use (& I can track because technology is very advance) and all other communications with friends and classmates must be done through the house phone (no hp) and within reasonable time during her breaks. During hols, we agree that such priviledges will be given back to her but only after she does all necessary hw and will be limited to certain duration only. So far she has not protested because some of her friends had similar \"treatment\" too from their parents.

westmon,
I think your strategy is the most ideal. You did the right thing by setting the rules for online activities & hp usage right at the beginning. Once they have tasted the fruits/enjoyed the freedom, it's difficult to withdraw, re-set a more stringent rule or demand to take back those priviledges. They will perceive it as unreasonable behavior on our part and that will contribute more to their defiance. I made the mistake of not making the rule clear at the onset. Now, I have a lot of s*** to clear. Gotta constantly nag (bad...) about hp & comp. Dd is texting way too often, apart from visiting class blog, facebook lately.

Yes, the treatment/priviledge that theie peers are receiving do impact the actions we took. eg. if their friends are also controlled by their parents in these areas, they will be more receptive to such treatments from their parents.

I still have not figure out how to handle the situation in the best possible way. Anyway, nice to share and learn from all at this forum.

[daisyt]

Hi Fairy, it all voice down to what approach best suit the kids before we find out a solution.


I don’t just block and full stop. I explained to dd our act and show her the newspaper articles about computer addiction. My philosophy towards all issues is always this "Others are doing it doesn’t mean you have to follow, everyone has their own lifestyle, every family is different". So far, regarding the blocking issue, I am very glad, dd has finally accepted our good intention. I also believe self discipline is very important but when I see there is lack in this, I would step in to help.

[Serafiel]

Well, my schedule varies.

Sec 1-2:
Mon: ends at 6.30 due to Japanese.
Tue: Ends at 6.30 due to CCA.
Wed: ends at 5.30 due to CCA.
Thurs: ends at 6.30 due to Japanese.
Fri: ends at 2.30.
Sec 3-4:
Mon: ends at 2.30
Tue: Ends at 6.30 due to CCA.
Wed: ends at 7 due to japanese.
Thurs: Ends at 2.30
Fri: Ends at 6.30 due to CCA.
The change is because MOELC now holds weekly lessons for third language.

[xxjustakidxx]

Serafiel:

Well, my schedule varies.

Sec 1-2:
Mon: ends at 6.30 due to Japanese.
Tue: Ends at 6.30 due to CCA.
Wed: ends at 5.30 due to CCA.
Thurs: ends at 6.30 due to Japanese.
Fri: ends at 2.30.
Sec 3-4:
Mon: ends at 2.30
Tue: Ends at 6.30 due to CCA.
Wed: ends at 7 due to japanese.
Thurs: Ends at 2.30
Fri: Ends at 6.30 due to CCA.
The change is because MOELC now holds weekly lessons for third language.

Ya, now students end at 6.45/6.15 during 3rd lang days (once a week)

[jedamum]

came across this 2009 thread...

bump this up for sec sch parents who may be interested.

[janet88]

Hi jedamum,

Thanks. I am keen to read this thread.

[SuccessTutors]

From a rather young age, my kids decided for themselves which schools and universities they wanted to go to. Similarly, they decided for themselves how much time to spend on their studies, hobbies, CCA, friend outings, family time etc

[janet88]

mummyjoyce:

The moment she was online, many of her classmates started to chat with her asking her abt her day and homework questions :x

I was sitting next to her and obvious to close to 15min. NOW, i can totally understand the problem with kids going online chatting unnecessary stuffs and it is totally a waste of time.

my daughter's mobile is super active and filled with who and who following you on instagram.
i monitor her closely as it is a complete waste of time to yak when precious time can be spent on getting work done. even if asking about homework, don't they have a planner to copy down the work for the day? :mad: