SAHP or working is better?

[skunk]

ks2me:

What you see is the surface value of loss but the ultimate win is sweeter. I have met an obnoxious mum who spoke like a hooligan n I walked away. I would not even waste any further breath to speak another word with her. Eventually she aged faster than me and had lesser friends.

Not always true.

I know of obnoxious people who are \"rewarded\" in life with money, friends, power, even youth and happiness. They simply couldn't care less about the people they hurt, so they won't \"kek\" in their heart....only those they hurt age even more. And they have a loyal following of friends, these are the people they fervently defend.

Remember an obnoxious hooligan to one person, is a loving parent, loyal friend and filial child to others.

I know these hooligans, because I'm half a hooligan myself LOL Most likely, the hooligan mother must be thinking, \"she has walked away, so I win\" They simply don't give a F about people around them.

anyway, we OT too much already lol

[minnie2004]

chamonix:

For my own son, I advised him to defend for himself if alerting adults don't work. Guess what his reply was? \"What if I hurt him/her?\" :stupid: Then came the same question \"What if I lose?\" :stupid: :stupid: :stupid: I had to tell him that he would get a thrashing from me if he did lose. Either fight or flight. If he chose to fight, then be sure that he emerged as the winner (even with injuries). Otherwise, the bullying would never stop.

That's why I put my 2 kids in taekwondo class to prepare them for bullies

Both my DD & DS are the non-aggressive type. When DD was around 2, my friend's daughter (only 3 months older than her) came to our house to visit and grabbed her toys from her. She just stood there, looking shocked, and then burst into tears . She has since become more assertive and always tells the teacher if there's a bully in class (the bullies may not be as fierce as the others mentioned here as they're still in kindergarten). It also helps that she's among the oldest in her class.

[metz]

minnie2004:

That's why I put my 2 kids in taekwondo class to prepare them for bullies

Both my DD & DS are the non-aggressive type. When DD was around 2, my friend's daughter (only 3 months older than her) came to our house to visit and grabbed her toys from her. She just stood there, looking shocked, and then burst into tears . She has since become more assertive and always tells the teacher if there's a bully in class (the bullies may not be as fierce as the others mentioned here as they're still in kindergarten). It also helps that she's among the oldest in her class.

Hi minnie2004,

Exactly. Sometimes it's not that we enjoy teaching our kids to be \"nasty\", but for non-aggressive kids like ours, we just have to adopt a different parenting approach.

You made the right move to enrol the kids for martial arts. That's what I have in store for my kids too. Erm, when he's more settled in school.

[Funz]

Whether or not a child turns out to be a bully or obnoxious or a softee has got nothing to do with whether there is a SAHP.


It boils down to parenting style and the parents’ own behaviour and attitude, especially during the preteen years.

I agree with skunk that parents should as far as possible, let children resolve their disagreements themselves. Step in only if it gets out of control. As parents, we should give them the tools to resolve conflicts but never fight their fight for them.

I have had parents coming and requesting that we do not let a classmate play or go near their own child as the other child is aggressive. And we have had parents withdrawing their child because we do not comply. We have seen parents/grandparents shouting at each other because one child received a bruise or scratch from another child during play. And the irony of it all, while the adults are shouting at each other, the 2 kids are playing tag around the adults.

[corneyAmber]

Fun, I agree with you that it is parenting style not about SAHP or not.


The case my child faced with the verbal violence, the teacher had not seen the parents before after registration and could not contact them via the phone yet to inform them of the incident. Incredibly busy parents, only see the maid so far.

[mintcc]

May be, besides, parenting style, it is not so much SAHM or FTWM but how much time and guidance we can give our kids.


Some FTWM are lucky to have jobs that are not as demanding or are exteremely good at time management so they can still guide and spent a good amount of time with their kids. There may also be SAHM who may be overwhelm with life/health/problems and can give little time or guidance to their kids. I had a classmate whose mum do not work but spend her days on majong sessions.

Both ways there are sacrifices.

[KSP]

mintcc:

I had a classmate whose mum do not work but spend her days on majong sessions. /

:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:


This is a good one!!!

[2ppaamm]

lovekidsverymuch:

ks2me:

Incredibly busy parents, only see the maid so far.

:!:

nothing shocking quite common nowadays . Don't you pity the child?

[2ppaamm]

KSP:

mintcc:

I had a classmate whose mum do not work but spend her days on majong sessions. /

:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:

Also common leh tai Taos can be so busy with their lives the don't even hv time for kids. Sahm and ftwm all must remember our responsibility to our kids is a duty, not a favour don't you think?

[corneyAmber]

lovekidsverymuch:

A lot.. i thought now we have like 7 days of child care leaves for both parents which is like a lot right :?

Sorry don't even need child care leave, this was a weekend class but parents nowhere to be seen for prolonged periods according to the teacher, unless we assume parents do shiftwork, then it is possible but lower probability.