SAHP or working is better?

[Lock]

I guess parenting is all about spending quality time with our kids and teaching them right, doesn’t matter whether u r FTWM or SAHM.


I know a SAHM whose child spends half the time in sch and the other half attending tuitions and enrichment classes. She told me her kid is beyond her control and she just has to ‘send’ him out of the hse to keep herself sane. This is very sad cos the more she doesn’t spend time with him, teaching him, the more out of control he will be.

When I 1st knew this family the kid is just 5 yrs old and was already very spoilt and behaved like a brat, now he is already 9 and has total disrespect for his mum. I witnessed a couple of times when he shouted at his mum and was very very rude, almost treating his mum like a ma

[jedamum]

Lock:

When I 1st knew this family the kid is just 5 yrs old and was already very spoilt and behaved like a brat, now he is already 9 and has total disrespect for his mum. I witnessed a couple of times when he shouted at his mum and was very very rude, almost treating his mum like a ma

personally, i believe at at times, kids respect to their mum depends on the dad's involvement.
if dad can be the 'bad' guy so that mummy is the good one, chances are that kid will be scare of dad more and allied with mum.
if dad oppose to mum's disciplinary mtd in front of kid, kid will lose respect for mum.
if dad bochap, kid thinks he is king.
jmho.

[2ppaamm]

Lock:

I guess parenting is all about spending quality time with our kids and teaching them right, doesn't matter whether u r FTWM or SAHM.


I know a SAHM whose child spends half the time in sch and the other half attending tuitions and enrichment classes. She told me her kid is beyond her control and she just has to 'send' him out of the hse to keep herself sane. This is very sad cos the more she doesn't spend time with him, teaching him, the more out of control he will be.

When I 1st knew this family the kid is just 5 yrs old and was already very spoilt and behaved like a brat, now he is already 9 and has total disrespect for his mum. I witnessed a couple of times when he shouted at his mum and was very very rude, almost treating his mum like a ma

I have seen such kids before and I feel so sad for the mum... I even heard some calling their mums 4 letter words, and the mum is a SAHM, join the Parents' association kind, do everything. Wonder why like that...

When I look at the mom closely, she did many things, but she seldom teaches the kids. Wonder why? :?

[autumnbronze]

2ppaamm:

[I have seen such kids before and I feel so sad for the mum... I even heard some calling their mums 4 letter words, and the mum is a SAHM, join the Parents' association kind, do everything. Wonder why like that...


When I look at the mom closely, she did many things, but she seldom teaches the kids. Wonder why? :?

I am just musing ....

Could it that its a vicious cycle repeating ie maybe mom's mom was like that?

OR

Could it be that she is not the maternal sort and had kids because she had to??

[2ppaamm]

autumnbronze:

Could it that its a vicious cycle repeating ie maybe mom's mom was like that?

OR

Could it be that she is not the maternal sort and had kids because she had to??

Actually, she's the very materialistic sort, married for the sake of $$$, and very B***y kind, so none of the mothers like her. But no matter, these are her kids you know. And to hear a child from such a good family with such a vulgar mouth just saddens everyone. The grandfather is a very well-known doctor...

So, that's why not all SAHM stay home because of the kids, I guess. Some stay because that's expected of them, and they make the best out of it. Tai tai kind lah...

[Blobbi]

2ppaamm:

I have seen such kids before and I feel so sad for the mum... I even heard some calling their mums 4 letter words, and the mum is a SAHM, join the Parents' association kind, do everything. Wonder why like that...


When I look at the mom closely, she did many things, but she seldom teaches the kids. Wonder why? :?

It's so hard to generalize.

I know ths family - not very well to do. Dad died when the kids were young. The mother is one of those self-sacrificing sort - do everything she can for the kids, and she's very maternal. She had great support in bringing up the kids from her own mother. Could tell back then that she was too soft with the kids. The eldest one is super smart, GEP and all. This daughter is now in uni living with some guy and just shows up home for more money every now and then. Strangely, this is the same family with the same upbringing, but the younger two are much closer and protective of the mother.

Sometime I wonder if it's also the child's intrinsic personality which allows for external influences to have a greater bearing on outcomes despite the strength of the family unit.

[Blobbi]

lovekidsverymuch:

...but then the upbringing maters a lot and then wat kids see they do even if they may get strayed but maybe down the line they will behave wat they have seen :?

So true. The game ain't over till it's over, and she's still a young person. Maybe this is her period of rebellion.

[daisyt]

Hi lock, autumnbrozne and all teachers .... yes, teaching is a very noble job and you cannot just drop everything from school to attend your own kids. Certain jobs don't allow you to do that. I have heard of a teacher mentioned before \"If I have kids, I won't be able to spend time training up your kids.\" Its quite sad to hear that ....


Thanks to all teachers ... :love:

[Tri-mum]

If your spouse will be posted overseas, will you give up your job to stay home so that you can spend more time with your child since the other half is not around?

[mummy of 2]

I will. I feel that kids should have at least one parent around. Not working will also mean I have the flexibility to bring the kids to see DH whenever their school schedule permits. This is not quite possible if I’m FTWM.


In fact, I would prefer the whole family go overseas, if the kids are still in pre-school or younger.