In-law problems?

[buds]

I’m not tired, lovekidsverymuch… I’m dead exhausted.

Just 2 days ago, i felt so exhausted that i slept very
very early and to my surprise, very peacefully too.

This may not sound like a good thing… but i felt 2 nites
ago that i have been right all along and i know darn
well how hard i’ve tried to make things work. And that
nite i slept so well cos i know no matter what happens
now, it’s not my fault. Never. My conscience is crystal clear.

If hubs can’t shape the future for me, i guess i have and
i WILL shape my future for myself. I have gotten over self
pity… self-blame… self-esteem crumble… self-respect lost
and many other things to do with self. So now, i’m going
to think for myself… after 10yrs of empty promises… 10yrs
of forgotten and wasted chances that have given selflessly.

I am at a crossroad right now, but i know i am so much stronger
than before. 10yrs of training gave me the upper advantage. It’s
time to "take" now. No more of the giving. I’ve given enough & taken
none. The best part is… this time i will not trouble hubs with the option
to choose. Since he has been forever indecisive when it comes to his
immediate family… me and my girls… He doesn’t hafta choose anymore.
So he can live on without guilt that he was never unfilial to his family…

Since i’ve always been the black sheep, the unfilial one, the one who
cudn’t give birth to a boy to continue the family name, the one whom
they have always told people who gave them a hard time, the most
disrespectful, authoritarian, peck husband… hey… what’s another title
on top of those already, aye. Oh i forgot one more title… the whale.
Yep, FIL termed me a whale.

Andaiz, it’s not just double whammy. It’s left, right centre i already kena.
So i’m all whammed up.

So bring it on.

I’m ready.

[Andaiz]

love dusts to you, dear buds.... and a good, big :hugs: from me to you!

[buds]

Thanks sweetie. I suppose you knew i needed that. :hugs: you back.

[Andaiz]

Thank you...we're all on a journey together here....more travellers make it bearable! :love:

[tree nymph]

Buds,


Just do it.

[buds]

Tree nymph, your quiet understanding means a lot to me.


I truly appreciate it. :hugs:

[buds]

Andaiz:

Thank you...we're all on a journey together here....more travellers make it bearable! :love:

That sounds very good. I'll bear that in mind.

[MMM]

Buds,


I am speechless. From your posting, can see that you are still very angry over something/ issues and that you feel that you’ve reached your ultimatum and you need to explode this time round.

No one knows your situation better than yourself as well as the next best step you should take.

But I hope that you will cool down and think about it rationally before doing anything drastic. It’s like the moment you start a "battle", there will be war and is that the outcome you want in the end?

I just had a conversation with my mum. She was complaining to me that my dad appeared to change. He has become defiant. My dad has been labelled as the hao hao xian sheng type and all along, he appeared to be the little sheep beside my mum. Due to his character, he is not the ambitious type who will bring "good life" for the family but he is definitely a good man. Due to that, my mum has been very sore about it for the last 38 years.

I am not trying to side my father but I told her my own observation. The way she speaks to my dad has been very bossy so maybe he has enough of it and turned defiant? My mum was like yah but we are family so don’t expect me to be very ke ke qi qi with him. I told her it’s not that but rather I am sure if I talk that way to my hubby everyday, he will be pissed with me too. Then she lamented that all their life, she was the one who helped him etc… what has he done,etc… I told her those are facts since years ago. He is in his mid 60’s, so what can be change now? There is no point bringing up the same issue to talk about it and why can’t she just accept the fact and move on. Iso looking back at past issues. I think it is not easy for her and it’s easy for me to say that.

But if we can’t change the fact, then we probably got to try to accept it and move on.

[tree nymph]

MMM,


I understand where you are coming from. But Bud’s situation is a little different. she has been the good DIL to his parents, good mother and lover to her hubby and their gals. But if her PIL does not appreciate it and try ways and means to drive them apart, she has to do something. And it didn;t help that her husband is indecisive and procrastinating!

[en107rn.01056yahoo.01056com.01056sg]

Buds, I don’t know what other comfort words to say to you. All I can give is a big warm hug and a little prayer.