SAHP or working is better?

[Tri-mum]

[quote]
BTW where is he getting posted?[/quote]Most likely HCM[/quote]

[MMM]

toddles:

Cos I've heard too many real life stories of bad things happening.

Yes... it's true. It's not restricted to China. I've heard cases from China, Philippines,etc.... Someone we know eventually gave up his pregnant wife and unborn baby for another woman :x Anyway, the lady is happily remarried. I was just thinking, probably the place with lowest risk IMO is a chinese man going to India to work :roll:

I do travel for biz and sometimes up for a week. Hubby and kids will call me every evening but it's just not the same being physically at home. You also want to avoid being on the phone for too long due to call charges,etc... One week is fine but after the 3rd day and enough of exploring around, things will start to get really bored.

[MMM]

lovekidsverymuch:

Tri-mum:

[quote]
BTW where is he getting posted?

Most likely HCM

wats HCM :?[/quote]Ho Chi Minh

[Andaiz]

Ho Chi Minh City?


IMHO, it’d be better for the family to go along, if budget permits. Close the family home up for this period (if not too long). Honestly, it’s better for family togetherness and the kids do remember this as they grow up.

[MMM]

Andaiz:

Ho Chi Minh City?


kids do remember this as they grow up.

Yes true, it's a different exposure for them.

[KSP]

MMM:

You also want to avoid being on the phone for too long due to call charges,

Talking about phone charges, I have a colleague who went to China for 3 weeks and the phone bill was like more than S$3k!!! :!: :!: :!:

The boss didn't approve the claim because they were all personal calls. Very sad.....

[minnie2004]

The place to avoid is Shanghai. I’ve heard from a friend that every guy he knows who are posted there ended up in a divorce. There’re no exceptions. In some cases even if the wife goes along, still no use. It’s not just the girls there are attractive but also very "li hai" (manipilative).

[MMM]

KSP:

Talking about phone charges, I have a colleague who went to China for 3 weeks and the phone bill was like more than S$3k!!! :!: :!: :!:

Yes... I think the per min call is not cheap. Can't remember if it is something like $3 per min. I always have to watch the clock when I talk to the family though it's paid by co. Don't want to overdo it. So I would do emails with hubby instead.

[Andaiz]

Tri-mum,


It’s not my intention to sound flippant in my previous post. There are many considerations for an overseas posting for a married person and a huge part of it is the family.

I’m not sure of your circumstances but for us, here are some key considerations:
(1) Is it possible for the accompanying spouse to follow?

(2) What is the opportunity cost for this (e.g., must he/she quit or take no pay leave or leave of absence)?

(3) Children education - okay to stop school and homeschool for this period? (not just lessons, sometimes, it’s practical stuff like doing groceries together, having one pick up after themselves) and/or other alternatives? Availability of SG-based syllabus? I’ve heard of schools who assist parents/support them during the time they are away (e.g., scan worksheets etc and help parents along just so that the kids are in touch with the syllabus here)

(4) Possibility of closing family home (i.e., maintain only the away-home rather than both here and in HCM for e.g.,)? Possibility of renting out if timing/tenure permits.

And for us, (5) Ageing parents. By then my sis was not married and my dad went for his quadruple bypass (deliberately after we’d left).

Being a SAHM is not a luxury everyone can afford but if it’s for a limited period only (i.e., tenure of his posting), and all other conditions are favourable, I’d say you go for it coz the benefits are far greater - and not all is monetary!

[MMM]

minnie2004:

The place to avoid is Shanghai. I've heard from a friend that every guy he knows who are posted there ended up in a divorce. There're no exceptions. In some cases even if the wife goes along, still no use. It's not just the girls there are attractive but also very \"li hai\" (manipilative).

Actually, I was looking at my Shanghai colleagues and they are all decent people and their earning power is not low either.... Was having this conversation with the taxi driver and he said that the Shanghai ladies are more high class type :lol: So those who eventually tag to someone's hubby tend to be from outskirt.