Help!!! Does your child suffer from anxiety due to puberty

[osim]

My kids went thru puberty okay.


At 11, she will start to get more self-consious, worrying what people think of her. This problem is worse if the child has low self-esteem. Pre-teens can get pretty nasty towards their friends these days, unaware that their behaviour can cause a lot of psychological stress to their friends. Girls like to clique and some use friendship as a threat to coerce others to conform to their ways or ideas.

The way to help her is to just give her a listening ear and you are lucky if she opens up and tell you things. As she talks about her problem, it will allow her to process her feelings rather than suppressing them.

[sharonkhoo]

Both my girls (now 15 and 17yo) went through puberty without any issues. As osim said, maybe encourage her to talk about it with you, and maybe she will get things into perspective better? Also, check her reading material - I found that a lot of pre-teen and teen fiction for girls (especially from the US) tends to over-emphasise appearance and popularity. That can be a negative influence.

[ammonite]

ESTA:

Hi, my gal is 11yrs and just had her first menses. As of recent weeks, she has started worrying excessively about friendships, people's opinion of her and lots of other emotions. She is very affected and feels fearful about the worst all the time. She used to be a really cheerful gal. I would like to know if anybody has experienced this and if it is normal due to hormonal changes?

TIA.

Maybe it is accumulative stress? Ie too many things happening at the same time? I understand that P5 semester 2 is no walk in the park either. So academic stress,plus puberty changes, and maybe some recent issues with friends? How about her skin or any weight issues? Just some stuff to consider.

[ngl2010]

How about boys? Would they experience anxiety too?

[ammonite]

Well, mine is starting to be appearance conscious and worried about zits and balding - ?! He was counting the number of hair he lost every day, and that got ds2 started - !?


I dunno whether to be cracked up or what!

Anyway I took the opportunity to drill into them the basics for good skin and healthy hair (no oily food, wash scalp thoroughly etc) and got ds1 a face wash. Once his zit disappeared he relaxed again. I see a lot of nudging and jokes about chest hair and pubic hair among the prepubescent boys in my neighbourhood though and they are starting to be height conscious now.

And every time an older boy(14/15 year old) "casually" mentions "my girlfriend" they will all stop, look at one another and collapse in giggles.

[ammonite]

By the way, I think simkhoo’s idea of checking reading materials is a good one. Beyond appearance, some stuff are too sexually explicit for this age. (or am I a prude?)

[ngl2010]

ammonite:

Well, mine is starting to be appearance conscious and worried about zits and balding - ?! He was counting the number of hair he lost every day, and that got ds2 started - !?


I dunno whether to be cracked up or what!

Anyway I took the opportunity to drill into them the basics for good skin and healthy hair (no oily food, wash scalp thoroughly etc) and got ds1 a face wash. Once his zit disappeared he relaxed again. I see a lot of nudging and jokes about chest hair and pubic hair among the prepubescent boys in my neighbourhood though and they are starting to be height conscious now.

And every time an older boy(14/15 year old) \"casually\" mentions \"my girlfriend\" they will all stop, look at one another and collapse in giggles.

:rotflmao:

Sorry, it is funny. I didn't know that boys will be concerned about zits, balding and height. No wonder my husband is so kancheong every time he saw a pimple on DS's face. Maybe it is a men's thing.

[ESTA]

Hi all, thank you for sharing.


Thankfully, my girl and. I have an open communication system as I am a SAHM.

Presently, her worries are unrelated to academic. What started off as a worry if her friend would spill the beans on her crush developed into full fledged worries of if her friends are talking behind her, if her teacher dislike her, if she has misinterpreted her friends words, what if this and what if dat etc. She has all along excelled in her studies and teachers have written good feedback of her in report book and has had no lack of friends.

I am wondering if it is due certain vitamin deficeincy? I read dat anxiety and depression can be caused by lack of B complex vitamins. Also wondering if evening primrose oil and fish oil would help.

Slimkhoo, I hav oso considered the influence of reading material. You are right that the reading material for their age group focuses on BGR and friendships. But we do not have much other choices as they enjoy reading about things they can relate to.

I really hope my gal can overcome this soon. I have read some teenage gals go into depression partly due to the hormonal changes. Not sure if there is a need to bring her to the doctor...

[Pen88n]

I think teens are generally curious - it’s good to ensure appropriate reading materials, but must be also prepared to give a little leeway for some teen reading materials. They will have friends reading the latest movie books that has a little more boy-girl relationship contents, but if parents object and stop that totally, they are going to feel left-out and also "kill" their reading interest. I can understand because we girls were "hooked’ on historical romance novels in sec schools too.


Having said that, I find introducing some appropriate books will help them too - sometimes teens do not want parents to "nag" / advise them too much and it might be easier they read some of these too. Chicken soup has some preteens and teens books that are touches teen issues and stories that teaches them to have a heart and be more considerate. Short stories, easy to read so I introduce these to my kids.