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    A*Star Scholar Charged with Poisoning Classmates @ Stanford

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    • ChiefKiasuC Offline
      ChiefKiasu
      last edited by

      It’s the stress of having to continuously perform at the top of your form. The knowledge that you might not be the best and that others are better than you can be devastating to anyone who never had to encounter such a situation.


      This case clearly highlight the risks of pushing our kids to seek excellence. I learnt an important lesson on the very first time I was taught how to skate. The instructor spent the whole lesson teaching us how to fall first. It is through the knowledge that we can handle falls safely that give us the confidence to skate effectively.

      Perhaps our early childhood education system should also include some of these lessons too, to build resilience in the long term.

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      • jedamumJ Offline
        jedamum
        last edited by

        Some kids push themselves hard, need not be parents who done it.


        Could it be because under bond, so didn’t want others to find out her depressive condition, so it deteriorated til she snapped ? What are the exit clauses in the scholarship bond? So sad.

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        • S Offline
          Sun_2010
          last edited by

          jedamum:
          Some kids push themselves hard, need not be parents who done it.


          Could it be because under bond, so didn't want others to find out her depressive condition, so it deteriorated til she snapped ? What are the exit clauses in the scholarship bond? So sad.
          It is usually children who push themselves too hard who can snap.

          I dont know about the bond exit clauses but there needs to be a balance. If too rigid, then desperate scholars may feel trapped while too lenient then it will be exploited.

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          • M Offline
            Mawar
            last edited by

            Life is about balance and perspective. If you put everything into one basket, sooner or later the basket will give way, and there is nothing left.


            She had everything going for her, and now she has nothing. I hope after this episode, she can pick up the pieces and make something good out of her life and for others.

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            • J Offline
              jetsetter
              last edited by

              jedamum:
              Some kids push themselves hard, need not be parents who done it.


              Could it be because under bond, so didn't want others to find out her depressive condition, so it deteriorated til she snapped ? What are the exit clauses in the scholarship bond? So sad.
              With these criminal charges pressed agst her, I'm sure the stat board's scholarship panel/inquiry committee or whatever will review (revoke) her contractual obligations, as necessary.

              c.f. Jonathan Wong, former MOE scholar turned paedo.

              Wasn't there another A*star scholar who walked down HV naked with a Swede? She's gone into the arts field, a big jump from life sciences to the arts.

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              • phtthpP Offline
                phtthp
                last edited by

                hope no student drank the water that she poisoned, else if student die after drinking, she can be charged for murder


                Btw, at Child Guidance clinic (Health Promotion Board, beside SGH) : besides students go there for Attention Deficit cases, Autism, some learning issue, a number of Secondary school students also go there Depression. Some depressed over studies, some are anorexic cases, other kinds of depression seep in.

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                • D Offline
                  Dreamaurora
                  last edited by

                  Reading about this news really drives home the point that we cannot neglect the social and emotional developments of our children. I think it is often hard for parents to emphatize with their children if they themselves do not go through it.


                  I read that the scholar complained that she had no friends and often wondered how it would feel to have a boyfriend. My past life was somewhat similar to her. I was strong academically and my parents cultivated this competitive environment for me to ensure I was always stellar. They often compared me to their friends’ children saying how more hardworking they are compared to me. And how these other children are destined for great careers and I would not reach the same height if I didn’t study hard. I had very little friends as well because I was obssessively competitive and many of my classmates viewed me as arrogant and boastful. I was very unhappy and often depressed because many of my peers despised me, so that prompted me to ask my mum to send me to Singapore to study secondary school.

                  Being in Singapore alone allowed me to slowly develop my social skills. I was still very much competitive, but without my parents around I could start afresh. The first few years were rough and I still somewhat acted like an arse. But at least I started to learn. I had to admit that my decision to study music was partly because I wanted to break free of the shackles my parents imposed me. Sure, going into a field that was hardly my forte therefore placing me at a severe disadvantage compared to those with earlier starts might seem unwise. But for the first time in my life, I felt humbled and normal. I struggled the same like the rest of my classmates instead of being this superior jerk. And so those experience shaped me into what I am today.

                  Whenever I read news about seeming gifted people going astray it really saddens me. Alvin Tan, that pedophile MOE teacher, and now this AStar scholar. I think all these cases can be great lessons for us parents to what would happen if we made our kids pursuit academic excellence at all cost. I know that some parents would just think these are isolated cases and their kids would not turn out the same, but I urge all parents to put themselves in their children’s shoes for a moment. I hated my childhood and teenage years; I truly wanted to erase memories of them. I excelled academically during those years, but there were far too many painful memories that left deep emotional scars on me. And those are the memories I remembered, not my academic achievements.

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                  • NebbermindN Offline
                    Nebbermind
                    last edited by

                    phtthp:
                    hope no student drank the water that she poisoned, else if student die after drinking, she can be charged for murder


                    Btw, at Child Guidance clinic (Health Promotion Board, beside SGH) : besides students go there for Attention Deficit cases, Autism, some learning issue, a number of Secondary school students also go there Depression. Some depressed over studies, some are anorexic cases, other kinds of depression seep in.
                    I think she's 27....not 7 leh!

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                    • jedamumJ Offline
                      jedamum
                      last edited by

                      jetsetter:
                      jedamum:

                      Some kids push themselves hard, need not be parents who done it.


                      Could it be because under bond, so didn't want others to find out her depressive condition, so it deteriorated til she snapped ? What are the exit clauses in the scholarship bond? So sad.

                      With these criminal charges pressed agst her, I'm sure the stat board's scholarship panel/inquiry committee or whatever will review (revoke) her contractual obligations, as necessary.

                      c.f. Jonathan Wong, former MOE scholar turned paedo.

                      Wasn't there another A*star scholar who walked down HV naked with a Swede? She's gone into the arts field, a big jump from life sciences to the arts.

                      I mean... maybe they want to seek help earlier but worry they will be penalized as they are on bond, the bottling up will cause explosion one day. Breaking of bond comes wit a very hefty cost.

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