No Problem is problem

[buds]

Donkey Kong:

Hard to comprehend women.:stupid:

DO NOT make your judgment over ONE woman (your wife) to make
a blanket sweep statement over all \"women\". I detest that. :x

ALL we've heard from your posts are depressing issues.

You have a sad sad life.. Your nick \"donkey\" is showing through very
clearly how you are so pinned down on a daily basis... what a little
man you are.. hee hawing your life away.. just like that.. ranting abt
everything under the sun when YOU were responsible for the path that
YOU chose.. the wife you chose.. the son you had a share in making &
raising.

Discipline.. Family appreciation.. Good family values and habits all start
from a new beginning of a new relationship which has now passed by you
the last 11yrs which you now claim YOU have no recollection of?

Mebbe YOU have dementia and not your wife.

And \"kong\" is supposedly the alter ego you wish you had in real life?
Big, strong, respected... uhmmm... plainly put.. more MAN?

For once in your life, stand up for yourself and the things you believe in.
Find & correct the situations that are not going right for the last decade!
MAN UP oredi, donkey kong! More trouble shooting and solving less complaining!

[corneyAmber]

Hi Donkey Kong,

While it is good to have an outlet to release your issues here, what would likely be constructive is to get some real help to straighten the domestic issues.

While we can respond and give you our best experience to share here, we will never be you, so it might help to seek a proper channel to help you analyse the situation.

You may truly be facing detrimental issues which we cannot feel the pulse very well in an open forum like this.

[Donkey Kong]

Think women will support women.


In any marital problem, everyone will blame the man.... :love: why?

Women can be aggresive. :!: ruthless too. :?:

Scary. :shock:

[Donkey Kong]

buds:

Donkey Kong:

Hard to comprehend women.:stupid:

ALL we've heard from your posts are depressing issues.

Discipline..

Don't be angry. I just wish to see if other men in this forum face the same situation, that can give good advice. Unfortunately, I guess mostly are ladies.

Depressing or not is up to individuals. Seen so many divorced cases already. not happy with each other, just split. My male friend just separated now dancing daily but still stay in same flat for HDB's sake. He has mastered all kinds of ballroom dancing. :celebrate:

Iraq needs to be liberated.... right? :?:

[LOLMum]

Donkey Kong:

Thanks for your advice.


But things are not as simple. After so many years of shouting and yelling with kids, wife has become another \"person\". She thinks all men are beasts and doesn't like to be touched. She just wants talking.... and most topics about kids, kids, kids..... Where got romantic?

I am a homely husband.... Sometimes I go out and see old men with China ladies..... wow.... they are so fortunate. Don't have to put up with fierce women at home. Any plain China ladies, even their plain Jane, also look better than the \"mad woman\"at home.. :lol: My colleagues also called their wivies \"mad women\" :stupid: Of course, behind them la.

If I meet the right China lady, may be we will just click.... and have romance elsewhere..... :celebrate:

What do you think?

---------------------------------------------------------------
yeah, i see the bigger picture now. didnt know about this thread earlier.

you are saying :

\"dont blame me if i have a china mistress (or should it be \"already\" instead of \"if\"?). see i told you, i have no happiness at home, wife and kid no good, no more sparks in my relationship with wife. but this china mistress treats me like king, she is not mad woman always scolding me. it is my wife's fault. blame her blame her blame her\"

[Mrsbongz]

hmm.. it's easy to blame each other when a marriage goes stale.. but u have to consider each other in all things isn't it? u married each other for good or worse,.. and just as she is now an 'old woman'.. u too are an old man.. she may not be 'attractive' to u anymore in because of her nagging etc.. but u do realise she may feel the same? that there is nothing more than the children bonding the 2 of u.. it's not only your opinion and feelings that matter u know.. u can gently let her know that u miss her affections and care.. and that u will like to know how u can show her your love and concern... when was the last time u bought her a gift, for no reason other than because u thought of her? Don wait for her to show u her affection before u do anything for her.. if u feel that u are shouldering too much chores, talk to her and see if a solution can be reached.


looking elsewhere at other 'ladies' doesn't solve anything.. just thinking and not actively engaging in an affair does not make things 'right' or make u 'faithful n responsible' It just shows u are not man enough to face and solve the problem u are part of and are thinking of satisfying yourself instead.

Children are sweet and nice when young.. but it is also how we interact with them that influences their behaviour as they grow up. It doesn't mean that they r 'poisoned' by the wife.. they can see your relationship and they take their cue from your behaviour too. as a father that claims to have spent alot of time with the child when he was at his cutest, u should continue your good efforts and try to use the time spent together to mold and guide your child to good virtues and behaviour. If u have also given up on spending time with them and labeled them as monsters.. your child will not be bothered with your opinion anymore, and this will lead them to behave as they please.

There have been guys as well as ladies who have responded to your post... I think that it's a good thing.. as u get to see both the husband's as well as wife's perspective. there isn't an easy solution for u..u can't do much about how your wife or child thinks about u.. but u need to look at your own response to the issues u face, because it's the only thing u CAN do to make a difference in the situation. When they see that u are trying, they will be more open when u try to resolve the issue.

I wish u strength to face the issues you have, and may ur relationship grow stronger from your current obstacles..

[cmm]

Mrsbongz:

hmm.. it's easy to blame each other when a marriage goes stale.. but u have to consider each other in all things isn't it? u married each other for good or worse,.. and just as she is now an 'old woman'.. u too are an old man.. she may not be 'attractive' to u anymore in because of her nagging etc.. but u do realise she may feel the same?

.......
I wish u strength to face the issues you have, and may ur relationship grow stronger from your current obstacles..

:goodpost:

Mrsbongz, you've summed up what I've wanted to say but had not had time to consolidate into a post.

Donkey kong, I wish you the best in creating & maintaining the kind of family life your family so deserves. You can make it happen.

[ningy]

Donkey Kong, hope this site provides a place for u to vent all ur anger, compliants and fantasies so that u will not take any action in grazing on the new grass. i think u are very smart and practical to know that those pretty younger ladies are only interested in ur $$$ and even if u can find a mistress who professed to love u very much, u probably will still feel insecure and imagine the stress, time, energy and $$ needed to upkeep 2 households. what if ur wife and son found out the affair and demanded a divorce ?? pls think very carefully b4 taking any action.

[toddles]

Maybe find a relative that your wife listens to? like does she have an older sister? or close cousin? or aunty?


That person can help mediate, and maybe if she hears your perspective (your sadness at how things are now) from someone else that she knows well, then she might look into adjusting her behaviour too.

Relationships are tough cos it takes two hands to clap, but don’t give up too easily.

there are other worse relationships out there compared to yours that are even harder to salvage.

[EstherTan]

Donkey Kong:

Think women will support women.


In any marital problem, everyone will blame the man.... :love: why?

Women can be aggresive. :!: ruthless too. :?:

Scary. :shock:

If you read through the other threads, you will realize that most of KSP forum readers do not take sides just based on gender. Most of us give comments and encouragement based on what is related, and despite everything, encouragement to communicate and understand is always given.

There are many in this forum who are male, and they read this forum on a daily basis, it is just whether they bother to reply to your thread.

With any relationship, the result is a consequence of participation (or lack of) from all parties, the adults. From what you have been posting/ venting on this forum and how you feel about your wife and kids, perhaps divorce would be the best option for you instead of justification to having yourself 'tender grass'. No point in putting yourself through so much 'torture' since you feel so strongly about things at this point of time.