TIME magazine:Spanking makes children violent later in life

[adhdadhd]

I have 3 ways to punish my DS,

1) "face the wall" aka time out or thinking corner
2) kneel down and pull your eye.
3) physical cane, hand or backside.

whatever way to punish is fine, but it must be with a reason.
The reason must be explained to the kid after the punishment.

But, the best don’t do 3 lah, he got the pain, I got deep cut in my mind… tears also cannot come out…

[corneyAmber]

I believe the article refers to senseless spanking which will build resentment in a child certainly.


The kind of spanking I have for my child contingents on my bonding level with her. For every spanking experience, alot of communication is made to let her understand why spanking is required. Having said this, spanking only lasted from 5-6YO…but not frequently, only when stubborness was totally unbearable. And it started from 5YO because old enough to understand but chose to defy senselessly and it took a year for messages to internalise. So voting now would mean no more spanking.

[markfch]

adhdadhd:

I have 3 ways to punish my DS,

1) \"face the wall\" aka time out or thinking corner
2) kneel down and pull your eye.
3) physical cane, hand or backside.

whatever way to punish is fine, but it must be with a reason.
The reason must be explained to the kid after the punishment.

But, the best don't do 3 lah, he got the pain, I got deep cut in my mind... tears also cannot come out...

wah adhd,
I think 2) is more insidious than spanking. You not scared long term psychology damage to your DS hah? I heard of this mum who after slapping her DS will force him to say (loudly) that he loves her. Still gives me the chill when I think of it.

[corneyAmber]

Btw, slapping is a terrible punishment, refrain by all means, as it can cause deafness.


Beethovan was often slapped by his dad when young. By the time he was 35 if I recalled rightly, he became deaf. Such a tragic for a musician.

And for the mum who did that to the child and asked the child to say "love her", she sounded like a mental case to me. :x

[markfch]

ksi:

And for the mum who did that to the child and asked the child to say \"love her\", she sounded like a mental case to me. :x

And according to my relative, this 'nut' case is so proud of the way she handles her child that she goes around the office boosting her methods to her colleagues. If her child turns out unbalanced, guess who will suffer in her old age.

[corneyAmber]

markfch:

ksi:

And for the mum who did that to the child and asked the child to say \"love her\", she sounded like a mental case to me. :x

And according to my relative, this 'nut' case is so proud of the way she handles her child that she goes around the office boosting her methods to her colleagues. If her child turns out unbalanced, guess who will suffer in her old age.

Actually she can be reported for child abuse, it is beyond physical anguish, it is hurting the child mentally too.

Can you imagine if the child grows up and batters the wife and still wants his wife to say she loves him? :x

[markfch]

ksi:

markfch:

[quote=\"ksi\"]And for the mum who did that to the child and asked the child to say \"love her\", she sounded like a mental case to me. :x

And according to my relative, this 'nut' case is so proud of the way she handles her child that she goes around the office boosting her methods to her colleagues. If her child turns out unbalanced, guess who will suffer in her old age.

Actually she can be reported for child abuse, it is beyond physical anguish, it is hurting the child mentally too.

Can you imagine if the child grows up and batters the wife and still wants his wife to say she loves him? :x[/quote]But an adult victim still can seek external help, a child can't.

[corneyAmber]

Exactly my point. If the observers monitor and confirm that clearly this mum is abusing her child, it should be reported to MYCS to prevent future adults to be abused, GWIM?

[autumnbronze]

When DH and I started out as parents, we decided on a reasoning via logic approach. The thing is, we'd been talking to him ever since he was a baby, we never used baby language. So we figured we'd had ample time to set him up so that he would 'get' us whenever we rationalize his misdeeds. Well, he does 'get' us, because he acknowledges, but I suppose a child has to be a child and will, inadvertently be up to mischief again.


DS is almost turning three. While he does generally listen to us, there are times that he gets us really :frustrated: with his nonsense. I think many would refer to this as a 'testing phase'. There have been times we'd resort to smacking his leg or hand as a very very last resort, though honestly, we make it a point for it to be few and far in between. We really don't like using this method ... but we use it after warning him several times as we don't want it to be a sudden thing and that he has to understand that he has 'earned' it due to his naughtiness. This will kind of 'stun' him, bring him to his senses and he will quieten down (after a short but huge burst of crying fit lah). We will then make it a point to explain to him our course of action a little later.

I hope to be able to do away with this completely

Hence, spanking is not something that I would advocate as a 'routine' form of punishment. Children tend to emulate. So my vote is on the second one.

Actually come to think of it, I think for me, I tend to raise my voice as a last resort a lot more than to smack him

[markfch]

ksi:

Exactly my point. If the observers monitor and confirm that clearly this mum is abusing her child, it should be reported to MYCS to prevent future adults to be abused, GWIM?

I must be a frog in the proverbial well. What is GWIM?