How to handle complaints from school
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Tam
I totally agreed.
Something happen to my girl in school too.It was not well handled cos teacher doesnt look at things from kid's perspective.
Anyover, case close .
rgdstamarind:
I highly recommend this book for all parents and teachers :
窗边的小豆豆
http://product.dangdang.com/product.aspx?product_id=706089&ref=book-02-L
The English version is Totto-Chan: The Little Girl at the Window, available in all local bookshops.
This is the all time best selling book in Japan, and is also a best seller in China.
The story is a about a little girl who was considered by her teacher to be too disruptive, and was expelled from the school. Her mother understood very well that she was only behaving like a child should be, and put her in another school which turned to be wonderful. This is a true story. The little girl grew up to become one of Japan's most popular television personalities.
Adults often forget what it is like being a child. A good teacher should always try to imagine herself in the kid's position, in order to understand why the child behaves that way. -
Joy:
Well, for you, it's good that the case has closed. For me, somehow, I just feel kind of... and I'm not sure if everyone is able to move on and forget about the incident. I just hope that it does not leave a dent on my DD.
Something happen to my girl in school too.It was not well handled cos teacher doesnt look at things from kid's perspective.
Anyover, case close .
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Busymom, just read your dilemma, have been busy in the word game and the math issues... :lol:
Actually your issue sets me thinking. How serious was the lie? Why was the teacher B harping on it, did it cause any harm? No doubt a lie is a lie but the handling of the various types of lies would be different. If it is truly harmless, the severe consequence has to be explained seriously to the child and no point just telling her \"don't lie\", it won't work. If it is not harmful but it still happened, you can explain the losing of credibility as a person and how this will affect future events.
At kindy level, sometimes children are still living in a highly imaginative world. They may fabricate tales as opposed to lying and not know the difference at times. As adults, we are more discerning, so we need to be able to detect the difference.
Cannot help much but since the incident has passed, there is no point dealing with the teacher anymore. What is important that your child learn something from this incident, such as, to have higher situational awareness in order not to get into such problems. -
ha ha, haven't gone back to your maths visual issues thread... :lol: :lol:
The lie... well, I think it is possible that DD had a mix-up. Anyway, have sent you a PM already.
About having higher situational awareness... sigh! I can be quite blur myself about certain things (although I will definitely remember what I said or did not say). The KL story that I shared before was a case in point. :stupid: Or maybe DD is still young or it's just her 傻大姐 character? -
Busymom
I have just pm you...
Rgds
JoyBusymom:
ha ha, haven't gone back to your maths visual issues thread... :lol: :lol:
The lie... well, I think it is possible that DD had a mix-up. Anyway, have sent you a PM already.
About having higher situational awareness... sigh! I can be quite blur myself about certain things (although I will definitely remember what I said or did not say). The KL story that I shared before was a case in point. :stupid: Or maybe DD is still young or it's just her 傻大姐 character? -
Busymom:
Busymom, replied your PM.ha ha, haven't gone back to your maths visual issues thread... :lol: :lol:
The lie... well, I think it is possible that DD had a mix-up. Anyway, have sent you a PM already.
About having higher situational awareness... sigh! I can be quite blur myself about certain things (although I will definitely remember what I said or did not say). The KL story that I shared before was a case in point. :stupid: Or maybe DD is still young or it's just her 傻大姐 character?
Yes she is still young but good to prepare her for P1 in this area.
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Another good book to recommend for all teachers and parents :
How Children Fail
by John Holt
http://www.educationreformbooks.net/failure.htm
1. Fear and failure: Schools promote an atmosphere of fear – fear of failure, fear of humiliation, fear of disapproval - that most severely affects a student's capacity for intellectual growth. External motivation – rewards such as grades and gold stars – reinforces children’s fears of failing exams and receiving disapproval from the adults in their lives. Rather than learning the actual content of the lessons, students learn how to avoid embarrassment. This atmosphere of fear not only quells a child's love of learning and suppresses his native curiosity, but also makes him afraid of taking chances and risks which may be necessary for true learning to occur.
2. Boredom: Boredom serves as another major obstacle, blocking both the child’s innate motivation to learn and his love of learning. Before attending school, children feel free to explore and discover those things that interest them. But once the child becomes part of our modern school system, both the institutions and the parents unknowingly sabotage their child’s education. Schools demand that children perform dull, repetitive tasks which make limited demands on their wide range of capabilities; such demands may or may not be suitable to a particular child’s interests or needs.
...
Holt concludes that there is a vast difference between what children really know, and what they only appear to know. Rather than learning the content of a lesson, children learn how to perform, or how to survive by deflecting the teacher’s questions with the least possible amount of embarrassment. Almost everything we do in our schools tends to make children ‘answer-centered,’ rather than ‘problem centered,’ which inadvertently deprives them of the skills that they need to function in the real world.
From the time of birth until the age of three years, children have a \"tremendous capacity for learning, understanding, and creating.\" Adults – either through their own actions, or through excessively dictating their children’s actions - destroy most of the this intellectual and creative capacity. Most frequently, we destroy this capacity by making our children afraid; afraid of being wrong. Holt’s examination of our present educational system is a critical and insightful study, one which forces us to look more closely at the lessons that we are unwittingly imparting to our young ones. -
stayhome
My DS1 is having the same problem as your son… except that my DS1 is in K2 and his misbehavour only started in K1 in this new childcare.
His childcare setting is like primary school, it is a very academic childcare that prepares the kids to primary school.
His teacher is also getting very impatient with him… during the last meet the parents session, his teacher even told us that she locked my son out of her classroom when she overheard my son telling his friend that he does not like her!
incidents triggered me desperately look for solution:
1) last week, he slapped his friend for teasing him (i was mad and caned him. i warned him that if he hurt his friend again, he will get more canes from me - i shared this with his principal, she disapproved it).
2) yesterday he bite his friend for not lending him book. This time i did not cane him but trying to relate it to his favourite Ben10 and magic school bus - telling him naughty boy cannot be Ben’s friend and friend of magic school bus. seriously i donno whether it will work but i am out of ideas…
anyone has any links to share?
Thank u very much!!! -
Hi osakachan,
I had also tried using cane, it only work for short term. I’m using reward and punishment method now, it work better and result last long. It is quite difficult initially, ds took some time to learn this method. But is it worth it. You have to be firmed what you had set and your ds may try not to follow. Then, you will just used punishment like taking away his favourite activity for a day or week…
It’s not easy and can be very stressful initially. But it’s just parenting. Goodluck. -
tamarind:
Yes that is a great book. Need to read it again to put myself back on track, sigh.Another good book to recommend for all teachers and parents :
How Children Fail
by John Holt
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