Is it possible to treat your children equally?

[kids_r_innocent]

Haha... in my opinion, how u treat someone will be how much u love tat person. Well, as parents, we will always try to love our children as fairly as we can. :love:

[TimmyOwner]

I always tell myself and my DH that we will treat all our children equally and love them equally, because it is not fair to show favortism.


I have seen my MIL show favortism to 2 of her children e.g. she is afraid to offend them, does not rebuke them when they do wrong, covers up their mistakes, sacrifice herself to love them without complaints, while she treats her 2 other children shabbily, e.g. grumble about them, embarrass them, take it for granted when they treat her well, make up lies about them, reveal their secrets to her 2 favored children. It causes lots of hurts and disharmony in the family.

I wonder why my MIL show favortism. Is it because the other 2 children that she favours appear to be richer? Parents, will you favour your child who has more success in life but who is selfish towards you and look down your child who is fillal and takes care of you, but appear to have less success in life?

[janet88]

[/quote]I have seen my MIL show favortism to 2 of her children e.g. she is afraid to offend them, does not rebuke them when they do wrong, covers up their mistakes, sacrifice herself to love them without complaints, while she treats her 2 other children shabbily, e.g. grumble about them, embarrass them, take it for granted when they treat her well, make up lies about them, reveal their secrets to her 2 favored children. It causes lots of hurts and disharmony in the family.


I wonder why my MIL show favortism. Is it because the other 2 children that she favours appear to be richer and more powerful? Parents, will you favour your child who has more success in life but who is selfish towards you and look down your child who is fillal and takes care of you, but appear to have less success in life?[/quote]

Same same here. Hubby is not exactly richer nor more powerful. But easily bullied bcos he doesn’t say NO. So his mother, youngest sister and brother will make full use of him to do things at their beck and call.
It was worse before we got married…youngest sister can stay out until wee hours of the morn and yet brother has to go home before a certain time. :x :x Heard that b4 ?

[markfch]

TimmyOwner:

I wonder why my MIL show favortism. Is it because the other 2 children that she favours appear to be richer? Parents, will you favour your child who has more success in life but who is selfish towards you and look down your child who is fillal and takes care of you, but appear to have less success in life?

Luckily success was never in my parents' criteria, cos I was the most useless amongst my siblings

[sleepy]

Whenever my dd1 throws tantrum, I say she 无理取闹

Whenever my dd2 throws tantrum, I say she 艺术家脾气

Obviously not fair! I know :siam:


Between the two of them, my dd1 is cleverer & more talented. Theoretically she should be the preferred child. Not that I love her any less. But somehow dd2 tucks at my heartstring more and makes me melt :love:

[KSP]

Give more love to dd is better. Here are my reasons.


1. dd next time marry, the parent will "earn" half a son; that will eventually equal to 1.5.
2. ds next time marry, the parent will "lose" half a son; that will eventaully left only 0.5.

So the decision obvious.

Actually this is becoming so obvious even in our generation now.

[Sun_2010]

sleepy:

Whenever my dd1 throws tantrum, I say she 无理取闹

Whenever my dd2 throws tantrum, I say she 艺术家脾气

Obviously not fair! I know :siam:


Between the two of them, my dd1 is cleverer & more talented. Theoretically she should be the preferred child. Not that I love her any less. But somehow dd2 tucks at my heartstring more and makes me melt :love:

I think most mums are like that ...

For grown up children:
The more talented, smarter, etc one will survive, what about the lesser one? For them to be equal, a mom has to care more abt the lesser one ...

In fact i know of a few such people. One close friend told me that the price of her success is her mom thinks she needs lesser love.

So do make sure both feel well loved...

[Sun_2010]

KSP:

Give more love to dd is better. Here are my reasons.


1. dd next time marry, the parent will \"earn\" half a son; that will eventually equal to 1.5.
2. ds next time marry, the parent will \"lose\" half a son; that will eventaully left only 0.5.

So the decision obvious.

Actually this is becoming so obvious even in our generation now.

An accountant I presume.
:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:

[markfch]

sleepy:

Whenever my dd1 throws tantrum, I say she 无理取闹

Whenever my dd2 throws tantrum, I say she 艺术家脾气

Obviously not fair! I know :siam:


Between the two of them, my dd1 is cleverer & more talented. Theoretically she should be the preferred child. Not that I love her any less. But somehow dd2 tucks at my heartstring more and makes me melt :love:

so dd1 is more talented, but dd2 is more cunning? :lol:

[markfch]

KSP:

Give more love to dd is better. Here are my reasons.


1. dd next time marry, the parent will \"earn\" half a son; that will eventually equal to 1.5.
2. ds next time marry, the parent will \"lose\" half a son; that will eventaully left only 0.5.

So the decision obvious.

Actually this is becoming so obvious even in our generation now.

KSP, you're being generous to me. Cos when ds gets married, dw & I already expect 0 son. So that we can go ahead and spend our twilight yrs w/o any more burdens