In-law problems?
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winth:
got the same impression too (but i might be too sensitive). mil sometimes went : \"oh, she is going as well??????\" and then a long pause and who's gonna look after kids?\".
MIL: So, like dat, who will take care of the kids?
(I was totally confused... she got me there and I couldn't answer...)
I interpreted from the conversation as me and my kids are excluded.
i just laughed, tag along and make myself happy.
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Hello all!
Just saw the latest topic on Mother's Day hence I just share here:
For my MIL my hubby cooked a REALLY WONDERFUL Mother's Day lunch for her! He cooked EVERYTHING including baking a cake!
He roasted a lamb as main course, did giant asparagus and baked portabello mushrooms. Oh...he also made tomato soup as starter, not can soup but from fresh tomatoes!
I did not help at all because I am hopeless in cooking.
What did my MIL says? Needless to say she was very touched but I expected it and she said to me \" You should have done this ma...!\".
Yes, MIL, I will try next time...perhaps on Father's Day.....
:oops:
:celebrate: -
DesertWind:
What did my MIL says? Needless to say she was very touched but I expected it and she said to me \" You should have done this ma...!\".
haha, my MIL wud have said the same thing. don't know why all DILs are expected to be good cooks
. If I do cook on mother's day, sorry I'm cooking for my own mom not you lah 
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DesertWind:
Wow, your DH is really sincere & filial. If I did that, my mum will think that either I'm dying of cancer or more likely trying to borrow money from her
He roasted a lamb as main course, did giant asparagus and baked portabello mushrooms. Oh...he also made tomato soup as starter, not can soup but from fresh tomatoes!
.
Your kids would have taken a leaf from this, and next time they will also cook for you guys. Isn't this wonderful. -
Jennifer:
For my case, there r 3 sons in DH family. DH is the middle child, and in my thots, staying with PIL is not our duty :oops: But sad to say, my mil is not an easy going woman, see her once every week for that 5 mins, i will also :x . Think we do not belong to the same \"key\", our conversation dun click.....My ILs would be hitting the 70+ soon (another 3 years). Hubby is the only son and ILs has two other married daughters. One SIL married a only child, the other SIL married the only son. Both SILs not staying with their ILs.
We used to stay tge till my second child was 3plus. Had one major quarrel with MIL. The last draw was during my second child's K2 graduation concert. Sth happened and I lost any bit of respect left for MIL.
Now that both ILs are getting old, is it my duty to move the whole family back? Hubby has not mentioned anything. Dun know if he is waiting for me to suggest willingly or he really has not thought abt it.
Moving back means many adjustments for all.
My elder BIL always argue with MIL, they can't have a nice,smooth chat,mostly end up both screaming with each other. Anyway, BIL & his family has been stationed overseas for these years, and extended another 4 years, it is unlikely MIL (FIL had passed on 2 years back) will be staying with elder BIL. And with both their strong characters, i dun think BIL would like to if he is in Singapore.....
As my younger BIL, he is still single, stays with MIL (MIL's flat has been paid, so no loan repayment to worry) but attached with long run relationship. Sound like they r settling soon :roll: , i wonder if they would stay with MIL....Again, this younger BIL is just like his elder bro who \"buay gum\" with MIL type....MIL said thing like disowning younger BIL during a recent quarrel....I was shocked!!!
I dun deny DH is the MOST filial among the 3 sons.......He is the only son (as compared with the other 2 BIL) who can chat with MIL without screaming at her......
I never raise my concern to DH anything on regards of letting MIL coming to stay with us while she can pass down her flat to younger BIL, but i really pray hard
NO NO NO. Over these years, the 2 extra rooms in my house have been renting out so as to \"keep away\" MIL from moving here. Now DS1 is older, we have already decided to let him have a room to share with DS2 by end of this year. Will MIL grab the chance of moving in and squeeze with 2 DS????
Now MIL is in her mid 60s,still able to move freely around by her own, no worries for us. But years down the road, i really dare not to think, especaillyyounger BIL is getting married, will he push MIL to us??? I mention to DH that BIL should get their own flat, instead of staying with MIL since they all (MIL,BIL & future SIL) \"buay gum\". Dun touch MIL's flat since it is hers, she can continue have a roof peacefully by herself...... DH juz :roll:
Sound that i am bad, but i REALLY REALLY dun wish to stay with MIL/she moves in with us.........Another 20-30 years, will i have the same treating as her by my future DIL????
HAIZ........ -
We have never celebrated mother's day with MIL.She will eventually celebrate with her second son even though she has four sons.
Actually, second son will not celebrate with her too.But, mil will call him during the mother's day week and hint him.This sunday, are you all coming, if not, I will let the contractor to come in and get some work done....every year is similar excuse...Mrs Ang:
Did you'll celebrate Mothers' Day with your mil? I didn't
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Jennifer:
Move back despite knowing you need to make many adjustments. It will be too late if 1 of them is gone and then u need to move back. The surviving 1 is unlikely to forgive u; the deceased may not forgive you / son; you hubby may grudge against you if not openly but silently if he does love his parents; your SILs may do the same.
Now that both ILs are getting old, is it my duty to move the whole family back? Hubby has not mentioned anything. Dun know if he is waiting for me to suggest willingly or he really has not thought abt it.
Moving back means many adjustments for all.
What u r about to do or not to do now is likely to be a mirror of what u r going to hv during yr old age. Put yourself in their shoes and think and rethink. These old people don't hv many years to nag and create troubles for u. Maybe can take it as a kind of 'repayment' for bringing up a son fit enough to be yr husband and a father of yr children.
Discuss the issue with yr hubby. Listen to what he has to say. If he can tell u, \"Don't need to worry about them\" then I think u also got to worry about yr hubby's basic responsibility as a son. Set a time frame, something like to stay with them when one of them turns 70 yrs old. Let them know about yr planning and listen to what they hv to say. Most old people feel worried about no one taking care of them when they grow old but many r simply too proud to speak it out and so they act it out in other ways. U will also be old 1 day and facing the same fear. -
hercules:
Most old people feel worried about no one taking care of them when they grow old but many r simply too proud to speak it out and so they act it out in other ways.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts, hercules.
Yap, another few more years of freedom, then it's back to the cage.
When I was abt to marry my hubby, he said: \"Let's live tge first, if you really cant get along, then we'll move out.\" My late granny also said: \"You r working, by the time you reach home, it will be night, not many hours to face your ILs, dun worry too much.\" Hm, seems like I will back to the workforce soon. -
Mothers Day is commercialized…no need to make restaurants richer by celebrating there. If I were to cook, it would be for my own mother.
I always pray hard my SIL don’t have the crazy idea to celebrate for the old one…or else not only do I have to drag myself there but also spend money.
If SIL were to plan any of such occasions, it is because her hubby (the eldest son) initiates it out of guilt. I just hate it. :x
Hubby has 3 siblings (he is 2nd son). All married and moved out. The flat which the 2 old folks staying in are paid up. I cannot have a decent talk with the old one without boiling up. She is so scheming…in front of hubby, she’s an angel but behind his back, her horns appear. She can get the Mediacorp Star Awards for Best Actress. -
Jennifer:
my 2 cents worth ...My ILs would be hitting the 70+ soon (another 3 years). Hubby is the only son and ILs has two other married daughters. One SIL married a only child, the other SIL married the only son. Both SILs not staying with their ILs.
We used to stay tge till my second child was 3plus. Had one major quarrel with MIL. The last draw was during my second child's K2 graduation concert. Sth happened and I lost any bit of respect left for MIL.
Now that both ILs are getting old, is it my duty to move the whole family back? Hubby has not mentioned anything. Dun know if he is waiting for me to suggest willingly or he really has not thought abt it.
Moving back means many adjustments for all.
if your ILs are healthy and active and enjoying their freedom, you may be over-worrying in thinking that they need your company.
if your DH thinks that its ok to leave them as they are, it could really be the case of leaving them as they are. he is the son, he should know best.
of course, if things are otherwise then the decision can be different again.
the chines saying about easy to see one another but difficult to stay together is really true, cos it has happened to me and my ILs.
especially if you have had a brush with your MIL years ago.
again, its my two cents' worth ... you would know your situation best.
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