All about Cancer

[sharonkhoo]

MrsKiasu:

never really gave it a thought..if to think it now..I hope dh can just have a woman outside when the kids still young..I dont want my kids to need to 'accept' another situation :sad:

My kids are grown now, but when I was thinking of this in earlier years, I decided that I would trust my husband not to choose someone who would not care for our kids. Not all step-mothers are evil and cruel; I know a few who love their step-kids and are loved in return.

[ChiefKiasu]

I never thought women are so 大方


Personally, I don't think I'll remarry. Love is what brought us together and remarrying just makes a joke of the years we spend in our marriage.

[starlight1968sg]

I won’t bother whether dh remarry

[MrsKiasu]

ChiefKiasu:

I never thought women are so 大方


Personally, I don't think I'll remarry. Love is what brought us together and remarrying just makes a joke of the years we spend in our marriage.

chief, you are such a good husband!

[mommyNg]

starlight1968sg:

I won’t bother whether dh remarry

I won’t bother too.

[hercules]

The two re-marry cases I mentioned earlier.


The female married her husband’s best friend. It went something like husband was battling cancer for a few years. During those few years, this best friend helped in whatever he could for the family (fetching and sending kids to schools, etc). Woman and husband’s best friend took good care of her husband till the very end. If I remember correctly, the husband ‘entrusted’ his family to his best friend at his last moment (sort of 托孤）.

The male friend’s wife also battling with lung cancer for a few years before passing on. He took very good care of her during those few years (went for a final cruise with all the chemo drugs along with the kids). He lost maybe 10+ kgs over those years and looked underweight and haggard (and now start to be ‘rounded’ again).

Never easy for these caregivers of cancer patients.

[hercules]

ChiefKiasu:

A very sad story. I can imagine how devastated his parents would be. When life is on a counter it changes a person's perspective. I had an auntie who had terminal stomach cancer who decided to stay home to meet her end. I was shocked by how thin she was but was comforted by her seeming acceptance of her fate.

One of my aunts passed on due to kidney failure two weeks ago at 80 yo.

Her kidneys were functioning at about 30% last year and doc advised dialysis. Aunt refused despite her kids persuaded. Aunt said 'enough of living' and she would want to just complete her life without 'artificial lengthening'.

So kidneys failed further. Arranged into hospice and then completed her journey.

Relatives were talking about why her kids never 'forced' her into going for dialysis. I find these relatives funny coz it is my belief that everyone should have a choice of how they want to live / end their lives. 'Departing' at 80 yo is not too bad in my opinion (instead of lengthening it and maybe have to suffer other complications and be more painful).

[mommyNg]

hercules:

One of my aunts passed on due to kidney failure two weeks ago at 80 yo.

Her kidneys were functioning at about 30% last year and doc advised dialysis. Aunt refused despite her kids persuaded. Aunt said 'enough of living' and she would want to just complete her life without 'artificial lengthening'.

So kidneys failed further. Arranged into hospice and then completed her journey.

Relatives were talking about why her kids never 'forced' her into going for dialysis. I find these relatives funny coz it is my belief that everyone should have a choice of how they want to live / end their lives. 'Departing' at 80 yo is not too bad in my opinion (instead of lengthening it and maybe have to suffer other complications and be more painful).

I guess up to a certain point, enough is enough.....? Such decisions are always not easy for the next of kin to bear. On one hand, we should respect how the person choose to complete the journey, yet on the other hand, we hope we can walk our journey with the person a bit longer....

[starlight1968sg]

My mum though ‘enough is enough’ was unwilling to accept her fate to leave. She didn’t get to see her grandkids enter U, find a job, get married etc. There were so many uncompleted dreams.

[sharonkhoo]

ChiefKiasu:

I never thought women are so 大方


Personally, I don't think I'll remarry. Love is what brought us together and remarrying just makes a joke of the years we spend in our marriage.

I guess it depends on how you regard \"Love\", and whether it's only once in a lifetime. I expect the love for a 2nd wife will always be somewhat different, although not necessarily less, simply because of different stages of life, different shared experiences etc. As a wife, I would want my husband to continue to have a life partner to share with if he so wishes, rather than live alone simply because he doesn't want to \"offend\" me or \"replace\" me. We've been married over 30 years, and I think he would find it quite hard to be alone, especially once the kids are grown. My neighbour, now over 70, lost his wife more than 10 yrs ago to cancer. He remarried about 5 yrs ago and we are happy to see him have someone to talk to, go out with, travel with, with etc. His children have their own lives and are busy with careers etc, and although they visit etc, they don't live with him.