How do I minimise the damage my SPOILT nephew has on my kids

[auntieM]

meeyah:

auntieM:

When my DS repeated the spitting and rolling eye, he kena 'red ang pow' and has never done it again up to now.. in my presence that is.

It a slap, but not those that send one flying against wall hor...

Juz me $0.02

Wow, I don't think I would ever dare to try that... Have not lay a finger on her yet. My gal is also very petty ji 4 chow 2.

One of the rare few times I just have to.. He spit at granny and made face :x

[on_plus_kiasu]

Thanks all,


Haiyah... Must really accept the fact.

Both my family and my DH family say I very fierce one. All my naughty nieces or nephews have been :spank: by me. I'm very thick-skinned, not scared to shoot parents especially when they come over my house. But this nephew ah... :stupid: :stupid: :stupid: parents are more thick-skinned than me :frustrated. I :nunchuk: him infront of his parents and they didn't even bat an eye. Feel like :pokeeye: Relatives rarely invite their family to outings and all the other nieces and nephew avoid playing with him. Yes, he is that bad!

Okay, must accept fact that I am going to be a naggy mum. Repetition is the key to instilling good behaviour. I don't know what to expect when they go to CC this June.

:?: :?: :?:

[mocharita]

meeyah:

Imagine my toddler gal has now learnt to spit on the floor from her friends. I have been telling her not to, it is bad and illegal to spit on the floor. Sometimes she listens sometimes she would do it just to irk me. Bad things are so easily picked up...I ever asked her why don't you pick up the good traits from your friends instead of all the bad ones....She never answered me.

:!: :!: :!:

[pinkapple]

meeyah:

Imagine my toddler gal has now learnt to spit on the floor from her friends. I have been telling her not to, it is bad and illegal to spit on the floor. Sometimes she listens sometimes she would do it just to irk me. Bad things are so easily picked up...I ever asked her why don't you pick up the good traits from your friends instead of all the bad ones....She never answered me.

because there's no carrot. nor stick.

besides just telling, nagging, etc, I think parents need to discipline their kids when they do something undesirable/ unacceptable.
so what if they picked it up from some1? they're the ones who decide to follow the actions.

I applaud what auntieM did.

[EstherTan]

I think we can’t avoid contact with bad habits/ manners that our own kids pick up from others (my girl has recently learnt to accumulate her saliva and spit that out). I think what we can do is constant reinforcement/ reminders to what is acceptable and not acceptable behavior (now I know how my own mother got so naggy ;p)


auntieM - I think if you’ve even had to hit your nephew in front of his parents (with no reaction) then it’s very much a ‘reap what you sow’ for them when he grows up. I encountered this before with kids in public areas screaming loudly (for no apparent reason) or pushing other kids at public play areas. How I dealt with it was to tell my girl - THAT is not being a good boy/ girl. They do it does not mean you can do it. (If parents are louder, my volume gets even louder ;p). How about bringing things to distract your girls when you are at PIL, or to outright ban playing with him when things get rough/ vulgar? Of course, I think this needs to be explained to your girls before pulling them away, else you will have a tantrum on hand.

[sleepy]

on_plus_kiasu:

Thanks all,


Haiyah... Must really accept the fact.

I cannot influnence how other kids behave but I believe I can influence mine. Before my dd started childcare at 2yo, I had been telling her 'don't imitate your friends' behaviour or action'.
She's in primary school now and still obeying this motto diligently. Classmates eating junk food and spending all their recess money at the bookshop. She proudly declares she did not follow suite

[Jennifer]

Maybe try to reform the boy? It is better for everyone in the long term.

[heyhoe]

I’d try to minimise contact.


On occassions that can’t be helped - when they questions why he can do it and they can’t. I would tell them that since we’re at their place, we need to be a good guests. I’d tell them to behave well and follow our family rules if they wish to stay on.

Otherwise, we will have to leave (with cooperation from hubby of course). Hope this helps.

[sunflower]

auntieM:

meeyah:

Imagine my toddler gal has now learnt to spit on the floor from her friends. I have been telling her not to, it is bad and illegal to spit on the floor. Sometimes she listens sometimes she would do it just to irk me. Bad things are so easily picked up...I ever asked her why don't you pick up the good traits from your friends instead of all the bad ones....She never answered me.

When my DS repeated the spitting and rolling eye, he kena 'red ang pow' and has never done it again up to now.. in my presence that is.

It a slap, but not those that send one flying against wall hor...

Juz me $0.02

My hubby shared with me before that when he was in primary school, he followed some boys and shouted some f* words during assembly to gain peer acceptance. Guess what! He didn't realise that a teacher was standing nearby and heard him. The male teacher came over gave him many tight slaps on his face and scolded him. Ha,ha...my hubby said so many lefts and rights that he felt giddy after that. But, that did the trick and the message that those were bad words that one shouldn't say was stuck in his head forever, to the extend that he never, ever even wanted to mutter those bad words, even during army days where it was common to hear people say them all the time.

[EstherTan]

[quote]
... The male teacher came over gave him many tight slaps on his face and scolded him. Ha,ha...my hubby said so many lefts and rights that he felt giddy after that. But, that did the trick and the message that those were bad words that one shouldn't say was stuck in his head forever, to the extend that he never, ever even wanted to mutter those bad words, even during army days where it was common to hear people say them all the time. [/quote]Just curious, how many parents on this forum would find this behavior acceptable (in our times) from a teacher? Whilst I'm for physical punishment when called for (THAT makes the lesson learnt unforgettable), I know many parents will make a lot of noise when their kids are punished via physical means.