Molest by someone you know

[Eagle-Ladybird]

insider:

PS: I will never meet him alone. Though an ex body builder, he is still as fit as in the past. His arms are muscular and I think is three to four times of my tiny one. He can crush me anytime (and my husband if want to fight him also will be no match. His kind need my gangster brother type to deal with him).

Insider, this world is won not by brawn but by brain (great if you have both). So don't be intimidated by the \"muscles\". All he needs is to touch you 1 simple hair, you can land him in \"hot soup\". And to think of whacking him from behind or any other \"gangterish\" way, is foolish. This is not Johor. The law is against the one who throws the first punch.

You have witnesses, and many of your friends were there, and they can testify. Speak to your lawyer so that you know where you stand. File a police report and get your lawyers ready to pounce. Go for the neck, and draw the blood. His family is collateral damage, and is just too bad !

You cannot accomodate everybody's well being. The longer you drag, the weaker the case against the scumback.

Pardon my language.

[ZacK]

insider:

It is difficult to swallow as said but am really weighing whether it is worth to destroy a family (in most likelihood the moment I spill the beans) and make the two old folks sad and feel shameful about their son-in-law just because I want very much to settle the score.

Dear insider,

Whatever your decision, pls be sure you can be at peace with yourself... Do not let this incident leave a \"thorn\" in your heart

:celebrate:

[cmm]

Wise insider, you have the answer of what you should do right in your heart. We are all here to support you. Do what you need to do so you will look back on this incident with no regrets.

[hquek]

hi insider,


My personal thoughts are that leaving this to days after that scumbag can make a lot of claims - he was drunk, you made the first move. A lot of he said, she said…end up things will only get too messy.

Glad you have come to peace with yourself - and also on a course of action should that idiot strike again.

I very bad to say this…but I believe in karma!

[ZacK]

insider:

After looking at the happy photos, I decided to let the matter rest, without telling my husband or my best friend. But should there be a second time, that scum will get the ‘black’ (gangsters’) and ‘white’ (legal) retaliation from me!

Glad that you have managed to sort out what you are feeling... Sometimes along the way, we are faced with \"imperfections\" that spoil our experience, but once we have the end (of what we hope to see or achieve) objective in mind... All these \"imperfections\" will then be less of an issue.

I have been faced with difficult situations as well, but once we sit down to think exactly what we hope to achieve, then these \"set backs\" become sur-mountable that we are able to move on.

I can understand why you choose to keep this to yourself... However if there is a chance to see the scum again during any gatherings... I will give him a stern warning privately that I am willing to let the incident pass, but should he ever try to do anything funny, he better be prepared to face the full consequences. This is so that he knows that you will not suffer in silence and be trifled with.

Cheers :celebrate:

[Gooby]

insider:

ZacK:

Hi insider,


Sorry to read abt your experience and indignity that you were subject to.

Thanks all for the ‘consolations’. As I can’t really share this embarrassing sticky matter with many others who know me, I can only sort of vent it here and hope to hear from external parties.

What Zack and others advised are sound about thrashing thing out with him though chances are he will deny and ended up in a words-against-words kind of situation. Anyway, I think the integrity I built through the years would make my words more credible than his. To really arrange for a confrontation would need more strong men to be around as his physique is really not something to take it lightly in the event that he goes crazy and starts to act irrationally. After what he had done, I take him as someone who is psychologically imbalanced and so cannot treat him like what I would treat a normal person (whom I can predict with logic).

My friend is going for her 3 weeks honeymoon this weekend and I will be taking this period of time to consider about the matter. It is difficult to swallow as said but am really weighing whether it is worth to destroy a family (in most likelihood the moment I spill the beans) and make the two old folks sad and feel shameful about their son-in-law just because I want very much to settle the score.

Off track, I am thinking of whether he had ever molested my best friend before and maybe my best friend has also kept quiet about it and whether he also ever molested his own daughter who is currently 14? This man set me into wild imagination as in my eyes, he is as bad as a beast…

Hi Insider, it is good that you managed to come to terms with yourself so quickly. But something that you mentioned bugs me.

Seems to me that this man is definitely not simple and is a wolf clad in a sheepskin that preys on women. What happens if he really does the same to his daughter and the poor girl is currently suffering in silence? I can't

We keep hearing news of father raping their daughter over and over again. Now, even boys are not safe as well.

Could there be a reason why you have to encounter this? So that his wrong-doings can be exposed and the little girl will be saved from his father's wrong-doings? We as adults already feel taken aback by such acts. What more to say for a young girl?

I was also molested before during during my younger days at 'Swing Singapore', peeped at in public toilets, buses and MRT. Once on the MRT, a 40 plus man purposely used his elbow to poked at my right breast before alighting quickly from the train. I just sat there angry and upset. As I grew up now, I vowed to myself that I WILL DEFINITELY not let these predators off so easily.

[autumnbronze]

insider:

I decided to let the matter rest, without telling my husband or my best friend. But should there be a second time, that scum will get the ‘black’ (gangsters’) and ‘white’ (legal) retaliation from me!

Falling back to the preaching of:

面对它,接受它,处理它,放下它

Thanks everyone once again!

Hi insider,

I am sorry that what shd have been a joyus occasion for you was marred by this traumatic incident caused by a, to quote some others, scumbag.

Yes, I do agree with E-Ladybird that the longer you drag this matter, the weaker your case will be.

But then I noticed that you have arrived at a resolution. So my wish for you now is that I hope you will be able to regain some measure of peace and move on ....

All the best ..... :celebrate:

[corneyAmber]

hmmm...I don't know whether he would stop harassing you since he got away scotfree.


So even if you do not pursue the case now, perhaps for an attractive person like you, it might be useful to get a zapper and put yr bag. So if he attacks again and if you do not wish to create too much commotion, at least you get to zap him before he can advance further. Kicking him hard at the unmentionable will create too much attention. Sorry guys, call me mean but I am pragmatic.....

[skirtdressnsuch]

my line o=would be...........kick him where he hurts!!!!

[mumma_bear]

I’m sorry you’re going through such a traumatizing experience. It’s either you keep silent about it or tell your friend about it. Whether you do either of the two, your friendship still gets affected since the scumbag has a connection to both of you. If you wouldn’t want to cause so much trouble with your friend’s family, stay away from them in the meantime.But I suggest you tell your friend so that she would at least know why you’re staying away from them. It’s up to your friend if she confronts her BIL about it…That bastard should at least be warned before doing that again to you. If he does it again, don’t hesitate to talk to the authorities already. I hope all goes well in the end.