Molest by someone you know

[Gooby]

insider:

ZacK:

Hi insider,


Sorry to read abt your experience and indignity that you were subject to.

Thanks all for the ‘consolations’. As I can’t really share this embarrassing sticky matter with many others who know me, I can only sort of vent it here and hope to hear from external parties.

What Zack and others advised are sound about thrashing thing out with him though chances are he will deny and ended up in a words-against-words kind of situation. Anyway, I think the integrity I built through the years would make my words more credible than his. To really arrange for a confrontation would need more strong men to be around as his physique is really not something to take it lightly in the event that he goes crazy and starts to act irrationally. After what he had done, I take him as someone who is psychologically imbalanced and so cannot treat him like what I would treat a normal person (whom I can predict with logic).

My friend is going for her 3 weeks honeymoon this weekend and I will be taking this period of time to consider about the matter. It is difficult to swallow as said but am really weighing whether it is worth to destroy a family (in most likelihood the moment I spill the beans) and make the two old folks sad and feel shameful about their son-in-law just because I want very much to settle the score.

Off track, I am thinking of whether he had ever molested my best friend before and maybe my best friend has also kept quiet about it and whether he also ever molested his own daughter who is currently 14? This man set me into wild imagination as in my eyes, he is as bad as a beast…

Hi Insider, it is good that you managed to come to terms with yourself so quickly. But something that you mentioned bugs me.

Seems to me that this man is definitely not simple and is a wolf clad in a sheepskin that preys on women. What happens if he really does the same to his daughter and the poor girl is currently suffering in silence? I can't

We keep hearing news of father raping their daughter over and over again. Now, even boys are not safe as well.

Could there be a reason why you have to encounter this? So that his wrong-doings can be exposed and the little girl will be saved from his father's wrong-doings? We as adults already feel taken aback by such acts. What more to say for a young girl?

I was also molested before during during my younger days at 'Swing Singapore', peeped at in public toilets, buses and MRT. Once on the MRT, a 40 plus man purposely used his elbow to poked at my right breast before alighting quickly from the train. I just sat there angry and upset. As I grew up now, I vowed to myself that I WILL DEFINITELY not let these predators off so easily.

[autumnbronze]

insider:

I decided to let the matter rest, without telling my husband or my best friend. But should there be a second time, that scum will get the ‘black’ (gangsters’) and ‘white’ (legal) retaliation from me!

Falling back to the preaching of:

面对它,接受它,处理它,放下它

Thanks everyone once again!

Hi insider,

I am sorry that what shd have been a joyus occasion for you was marred by this traumatic incident caused by a, to quote some others, scumbag.

Yes, I do agree with E-Ladybird that the longer you drag this matter, the weaker your case will be.

But then I noticed that you have arrived at a resolution. So my wish for you now is that I hope you will be able to regain some measure of peace and move on ....

All the best ..... :celebrate:

[corneyAmber]

hmmm...I don't know whether he would stop harassing you since he got away scotfree.


So even if you do not pursue the case now, perhaps for an attractive person like you, it might be useful to get a zapper and put yr bag. So if he attacks again and if you do not wish to create too much commotion, at least you get to zap him before he can advance further. Kicking him hard at the unmentionable will create too much attention. Sorry guys, call me mean but I am pragmatic.....

[skirtdressnsuch]

my line o=would be...........kick him where he hurts!!!!

[mumma_bear]

I’m sorry you’re going through such a traumatizing experience. It’s either you keep silent about it or tell your friend about it. Whether you do either of the two, your friendship still gets affected since the scumbag has a connection to both of you. If you wouldn’t want to cause so much trouble with your friend’s family, stay away from them in the meantime.But I suggest you tell your friend so that she would at least know why you’re staying away from them. It’s up to your friend if she confronts her BIL about it…That bastard should at least be warned before doing that again to you. If he does it again, don’t hesitate to talk to the authorities already. I hope all goes well in the end.

[peh-boo]

good for all of us to come out n share our own experiences of sexual offences, be it molest or rape or other sick stuff.

we’re a loving couple, new to this forum, but we both had our fair share of such disgusting experiences too.
we dun hide from each other but talk it out so that we are more aware of such things happening around us, even in our homes where we think are the safest place.
as the saying goes: the most dangerous place maybe the safest place, n the safest place may be the most dangerous place.
if anyone too shy to share such things in public can pm us - private n confidential assured.
ofcoz we will share with u ours too.

[peh-boo]

recently there's this guy arrested for childporn n supposedly still teaching in our very own local school while his case is still pending.

wat u all think? wat if ur own kid happens to be in his class? u feel safe or wat?
good to talk it out in public? :?

[kaka]

Even if we take a forgive and forget stance, it is important to give him a warning. He needs to know it should not happen again, to anyone. He needs to understand the trauma it could cause to other people.

[northernstar]

kaka:

Even if we take a forgive and forget stance, it is important to give him a warning. He needs to know it should not happen again, to anyone. He needs to understand the trauma it could cause to other people.

if the man is a sicko, do you think he will heed ur warning or cares? maybe we should let God or law punish him..

[peh-boo]

kaka:

Even if we take a forgive and forget stance, it is important to give him a warning. He needs to know it should not happen again, to anyone. He needs to understand the trauma it could cause to other people.

easier to forgive then forget lah.
being a scholar with so much knowledge in his brain surely he knows the consequences n trauma u mentioned mah - just deliberately doing it disregarding feelings n emotions lor.
and is he the only one or just a tip of mountain?
theres a saying: the unknown is more dangerous than the known.