Any parents here ever felt pressurized by others?
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I was \"pressured\" to come into KSP and take a look?
No lah, I was curious when DH's friend's wife mentioned KSP, so I came to take a look and joined only a year after she asked me to.
Yesterday, I was telling my friend (a super Mom with 4 kids and no maid) that I don't intend to send DD to any classes prior to kindergarten. She was shocked! She said \"cannot!\" must go preschool else in kindergarten cannot catch up. I aske her catch up to what, she couldn't say for sure. I asked is it to interact and play with other kids, she said yes. Then I pointed to DD who was playing well with her 4 kids (whom DD has only met one other time, during her 1st month party
I can't really say for sure but I think I will stick to our plan. Both DH and I are cool cucumbers. We'd like to keep DD at home for as long as possible, then \"release\" her to the craziness of the Singaporean school system.
But you know DD is only 9 months young, we could be all talk only lah. When the time comes, maybe we more kancheong than spiders. Who knows? Like MM said \"The only constant thing in life is change\". -
duriz:
I was \"pressured\" to come into KSP and take a look?
No lah, I was curious when DH's friend's wife mentioned KSP, so I came to take a look and joined only a year after she asked me to.
Yesterday, I was telling my friend (a super Mom with 4 kids and no maid) that I don't intend to send DD to any classes prior to kindergarten. She was shocked! She said \"cannot!\" must go preschool else in kindergarten cannot catch up. I aske her catch up to what, she couldn't say for sure. I asked is it to interact and play with other kids, she said yes. Then I pointed to DD who was playing well with her 4 kids (whom DD has only met one other time, during her 1st month party
I can't really say for sure but I think I will stick to our plan. Both DH and I are cool cucumbers. We'd like to keep DD at home for as long as possible, then \"release\" her to the craziness of the Singaporean school system.
But you know DD is only 9 months young, we could be all talk only lah. When the time comes, maybe we more kancheong than spiders. Who knows? Like MM said \"The only constant thing in life is change\".
hahaha, you are certainly more kiasu than a kancheong spider....
I did not join ksp when my first child was 9 months young ..... -
:oops:
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verykiasu2010:
probably bcos there was no ksp at that time :lol:duriz:
I was \"pressured\" to come into KSP and take a look?
No lah, I was curious when DH's friend's wife mentioned KSP, so I came to take a look and joined only a year after she asked me to.
Yesterday, I was telling my friend (a super Mom with 4 kids and no maid) that I don't intend to send DD to any classes prior to kindergarten. She was shocked! She said \"cannot!\" must go preschool else in kindergarten cannot catch up. I aske her catch up to what, she couldn't say for sure. I asked is it to interact and play with other kids, she said yes. Then I pointed to DD who was playing well with her 4 kids (whom DD has only met one other time, during her 1st month party
I can't really say for sure but I think I will stick to our plan. Both DH and I are cool cucumbers. We'd like to keep DD at home for as long as possible, then \"release\" her to the craziness of the Singaporean school system.
But you know DD is only 9 months young, we could be all talk only lah. When the time comes, maybe we more kancheong than spiders. Who knows? Like MM said \"The only constant thing in life is change\".
hahaha, you are certainly more kiasu than a kancheong spider....
I did not join ksp when my first child was 9 months young ..... -
Sun_2010:
probably bcos there was no ksp at that time :lol:[/quote]alamak ! u exposed my age group !verykiasu2010:
[quote=\"duriz\"]I was \"pressured\" to come into KSP and take a look?
No lah, I was curious when DH's friend's wife mentioned KSP, so I came to take a look and joined only a year after she asked me to.
Yesterday, I was telling my friend (a super Mom with 4 kids and no maid) that I don't intend to send DD to any classes prior to kindergarten. She was shocked! She said \"cannot!\" must go preschool else in kindergarten cannot catch up. I aske her catch up to what, she couldn't say for sure. I asked is it to interact and play with other kids, she said yes. Then I pointed to DD who was playing well with her 4 kids (whom DD has only met one other time, during her 1st month party
I can't really say for sure but I think I will stick to our plan. Both DH and I are cool cucumbers. We'd like to keep DD at home for as long as possible, then \"release\" her to the craziness of the Singaporean school system.
But you know DD is only 9 months young, we could be all talk only lah. When the time comes, maybe we more kancheong than spiders. Who knows? Like MM said \"The only constant thing in life is change\".
hahaha, you are certainly more kiasu than a kancheong spider....
I did not join ksp when my first child was 9 months young ..... -
Living in Singapore, its pretty tough not to get caught up in the academic pressures that childhood education brings. Indeed, seeing how your child stacks up against his peers is not an unreasonable way to see if you need to take some steps to stretch or motivate him to do better. This is fine if done with sensitivity. I would not like to be in a situation, one day, where in fact academic accomplishments were de-emphasised in Singapore schools. That would be the start of the slippery slope towards underachievement. I.e., push and stretch your child, but as an individual and to the best of HIS abilities.
However, pertinent to the question at hand, what I do not subscribed to is the silliness around the enrichment class arms-race…or the obsession around whether one’s home is within 1km, or balloting history of your fav P school.
In my view, not only is it unhealthy and a waste of time, I believe the behaviours demonstrated by parents in the pursuit of such may have a negative impact on a child’s upbringing. If the parents model the attitude that the CHILD is central, that the EDUCATION was all that mattered, then the child takes it all on board. A short generation later, we complain about young adults who don’t get up off the MRT benches for pregnant ladies, or young men who park their Dad’s cars in disabled parking lots, then we ask ourselves, 'Where do these people come from? How were they brought up?" Well, its all about them isn’t it? And apart from doing well in school, does consideration about others really matter?
So, as someone else pointed out, I feel more pressured by my kids, their constant pushing, desire for knowledge, behavioural issues, moral upbringing. Do I feel pressured by other parents? Well, I know little of other parents value systems, their priorities, constraints, so it seems very silly for me to want to compare myself with them, or for them to compare themselves with me. To each his own…
Those that are cool about the rat race,
, hope you stay that way and don’t get too swayed by some of the insanity… -
Alamak, I belong to the other group?!! Probably where other parents felt pressurized by me instead :faint:
So nowsaday I keep my mouth shut unless someone specifically asked for my advice or opinion
Forum is probably the only place I can blah blah blah
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Well said, 3boys!
To add, I have come across "underachiever" environment, and it really makes you become complacent.
It is very easy to fall in the rat race, sometimes without us realizing it.
To look at the local competitiveness in a positive light for my kids and learn to strike a balance in myself for the sake of my kids and not to feel overwhelmed by what other parents are doing, is something that I have to constantly remind myself of. -
markfch:
Both my hubby and myself were formerly from top schools, but we both did not feel that our kids should go to a brand name primary school. The reason is because we know the truth, even in top schools, we have to depend on ourselves to study hard. I could not depend on the teachers.This world is made up of different types of people. Some parents will spare no effort to ensure that their kids are given a perceived headstart over others, for eg by registering in top sch, by enrichment and what not.
I also have friends who are very sure about themselves. This group of parents does not succumb to the frenzy of the rat race. They are really cool and collected during P1 registration. And a lot of the parents I know from this group were actually formerly from top sch themselves (but not pri level). They say that let nature take its course, whatever will be will be.
My qn for this post is this. If you belong to the latter group, do you feel unneccessary pressurized when your peers are telling you they're doing this and that for their kids, and you're not. How do you handle this situation?
So it does not mean that once a child is in a brand name school, he will definitely do well.
We put our kids in a neighbourhood primary school, and our colleagues were often surprised at our decision.
The fact is that the neighbourhood primary school also produce students that score above 270 at PSLE every year, even though the % is lower than the brand name schools.
So I am quite amused when I see parents try so hard to get into the brand name schools. I have seen parents who curse and swear (in this forum) when they fail to get in. If a child scores 80+ in a neighbourhood school, he will still score 80+ in a brand name school. It does not make any difference.
I do not feel pressurized by others, but I really feel very sad for the kids. I knew kids who were so small and skinny for their age, because their mothers kept rushing them to CC and/or numerous enrichment classes and did not care whether they were eating well or not.
I wonder what these mothers are thinking. We should never sacrifice a child's health for anything ! -
duriz:
Actually now at K1, kids are expected to know how to read words already.
Yesterday, I was telling my friend (a super Mom with 4 kids and no maid) that I don't intend to send DD to any classes prior to kindergarten. She was shocked! She said \"cannot!\" must go preschool else in kindergarten cannot catch up. I aske her catch up to what, she couldn't say for sure. I asked is it to interact and play with other kids, she said yes.
They should have learned all the A,B,Cs at 3 and 4 years old.
When my girl was in K1, she had spelling words like \"ambulance\", \"submarine\", etc. She also had creative writing class in K1. She is only in a kindergarten in the neighbourhood. I expect those brand name kindergarten should have even higher standards.
So kids do not start to learn A,B,Cs at K1 anymore.
I am not saying that parents should start sending their kid to enrichment classes before kindergarten. We can easily teach our kids the alphabet and reading at home
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