Any parents here ever felt pressurized by others?
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Okie, this is a typical scenario of how I would react ....
Say some parent is talking about so and so's child being in a good or premium pre-sch or taking some music lessons or whatever enrichment class ... my ears would perk up, I will listen intently, take note of names if any, and then come back and do my own investigative work ie surf websites, KSP threads on topic, recee/call up the place itself .... So as you can imagine, when it was time for pre-sch research, I was one busy mama, spent almost a year researching. DH thought I had gone :siao: \"its only a presch wat\"
Same thing if I chanced upon something here. But this time, my eyes will be open wide
At the end of the day though, I let my rationale side, instinct and my assessment of DS's personality guide me, though it can be a v v :frustrated: experience (the want vs need battle). Finally, got DS enrolled in a small church kindy with one session. Besides that, wasn't convinced enough by the other enrichment programmes/schs except for Art and Music appreciation.
DS is only in pre-sch now. I hope that the two qualities above will guide me thru successfully when its time to register for P1
:xedfingers:
As it is, DH is again thinking I am :siao: cuz I've started perusing threads on P1 registration -
DesertWind:
hi DesertWind,
The fear of my son ended up being posted to the nearest neighbourhood school possibly ended up with pai-kia friends drove me to be more kiasu. Else his mother is a great believer in neighbourhood schools. However his daddy from a very good school so he insisted on him going there.
Am I pressured by other parents? No, but my hubby is ie. those enrichments etc... But I am pressurized by his insistence on a good, branded school.
But generally hubby & myself believe in not pushing our boy too much, too young, too soon.
Actually we have the same fear. I too fear that ds will mix with the wrong company, not necessary delinquents but more of boys who play truant. To minimize the chance of this happening, I got him into a strict & no nonsense sch. Seeing how fierce the female teachers are there, I'm pretty hopeful my plan will turn out well. -
autumnbronze:
KSP is very good in the sense that there's a lot of sharing involved. I've received some very useful PMs too. I've gained lots of knowledge on how better to bring up my ds.
At the end of the day though, I let my rationale side, instinct and my assessment of DS's personality guide me, though it can be a v v :frustrated: experience (the want vs need battle). Finally, got DS enrolled in a small church kindy with one session. Besides that, wasn't convinced enough by the other enrichment programmes/schs except for Art and Music appreciation.
However like you, I also felt pressurized here sometimes. That's why I stopped myself from viewing the thread on 'How much do you spent on your kids' enrichment'. Just try my best and be happy with it
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markfch:
You summed up pretty well :celebrate:
KSP is very good in the sense that there's a lot of sharing involved. I've received some very useful PMs too. I've gained lots of knowledge on how better to bring up my ds.autumnbronze:
At the end of the day though, I let my rationale side, instinct and my assessment of DS's personality guide me, though it can be a v v :frustrated: experience (the want vs need battle). Finally, got DS enrolled in a small church kindy with one session. Besides that, wasn't convinced enough by the other enrichment programmes/schs except for Art and Music appreciation.
However like you, I also felt pressurized here sometimes. That's why I stopped myself from viewing the thread on 'How much do you spent on your kids' enrichment'. Just try my best and be happy with it
Feeling pressurized by what others have/are doing is unavoidable, I guess. Its how one deals with it that is more important. Like someone else said earlier, its all about finding out about options and exercising them wisely. The last thing I ever want to do is to 'overload' my DS.
Let a child be a child (my personal 2 cents).
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Mark,
Your thread really is quite profound. Here's my second go at it :lol::
I do love the working with your kids and the math/science/language threads. That's why I'm on KSP :lol:, aside from the company of course. Was telling a friend of mine - I'd love for my son to reap the benefits of XYZ classes. But I don't get past the thought because it just won't work with my son's personality. Some people tell me to just stick him in, but the complaints I get, I tell you!
So long as he's happy and learning, I just have to accept it. Besides once he started school, and for him, he's got a whole bunch of therapy to go to, there's a lot less time for what he wants to do anyway. So we have no time for enrichment.
Doesn't stop me from thinking about it sometimes though. :lol: -
markfch:
Hi markfch,hi DesertWind,
Actually we have the same fear. I too fear that ds will mix with the wrong company, not necessary delinquents but more of boys who play truant. To minimize the chance of this happening, I got him into a strict & no nonsense sch. Seeing how fierce the female teachers are there, I'm pretty hopeful my plan will turn out well.
I think you are a \"24-filial-piety\" parent leh! Also only son izzit? That's why so kan cheong lor.
And I read somewhere you are already trying to match-make for him izzit? :!:
Still \"heng\" meh ie. arranged marriage from young? :shock:
:celebrate: -
DesertWind:
Erm, he's not only son, he's the only child (jialet, I put all my eggs into one basket). And first grandchild on both sides. So ds better have broad shoulders to carry the expectations from both families
Hi markfch,
I think you are a \"24-filial-piety\" parent leh! Also only son izzit? That's why so kan cheong lor.
And I read somewhere you are already trying to match-make for him izzit? :!:
Still \"heng\" meh ie. arranged marriage from young? :shock:
:celebrate:
Have you seen the PILs thread? Can't remember if you are one of the main contributors there . Choosing DIL is more impt than choosing pri sch you know. Choose correctly, next time grandchildren will still retain good gene pool. Choose wrongly, next time I can only do this ==> :stupid:
Of course I'm just joking lah. As long as next time ds brings a gal & not a boy home, and she doesn't have facial tattoos/piercing I would be grateful liao
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Blobbi:
hi Blobbi,
I do love the working with your kids and the math/science/language threads. That's why I'm on KSP :lol:, aside from the company of course. Was telling a friend of mine - I'd love for my son to reap the benefits of XYZ classes. But I don't get past the thought because it just won't work with my son's personality. Some people tell me to just stick him in, but the complaints I get, I tell you!
So long as he's happy and learning, I just have to accept it. Besides once he started school, and for him, he's got a whole bunch of therapy to go to, there's a lot less time for what he wants to do anyway. So we have no time for enrichment.
Doesn't stop me from thinking about it sometimes though. :lol:
For a moment I thought you like to work with my kid, keke. May I ask a qn? Does your ds suffer from short attention span or something?
For me, I can be pretty greedy. I always wonder how nice if ds is truly smart, you know the type that is matured beyond his years. Then I looked at myself in the mirror, and I'm glad my parents did not have this kind of ridiculous expectation on me :oops: .
And so, I count my blessings and life goes on .... -
markfch:
[Choosing DIL is more impt than choosing pri sch you know.
:lol: My hubby was the only son but even then I felt that I went through a \"rigorous\" process. Fil looked and scrutinised me from head to toe for the 1st few time we meet. He literally sit facing me and look at me from head to toe :!: Thought I can only see that in the drama.
Told my only son that next time, daddy will also do that to his potential girlfriends.
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MMM:
Told my only son that next time, daddy will also do that to his potential girlfriends.
This reminds me of the first time DH brought me home to meet his parents. When DH went to get me a drink and left me alone with PILs: MIL asked do I cook (yes); do I like to clean (yes); do I love children (yes).
When DH was driving me home, he asked me what we talked about. I told him his Mom was interviewing for a maid :faint:
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