In-law problems?

[janet88]

Andaiz:

janet_lee88:

I really salute women who are SAHMs staying with their Empress Dowagers. How do you tolerate and tahan ? 2 tigers under one roof is virtually impossible. I can't even tahan for 1 hour before I have to make my escape to BREATHE.

janet_lee88, yes, we need space to BREATHE!

I salute you ladies, whether SAHM or FTWM who live with their MIL's. \"Hats off\"

I can hardly breathe during CNY...can't wait to make my escape every year. Simply awkward having to to face the TV all the time and avoiding conversations which will make me blow my top on 1st day of CNY.

[3Boys]

tree nymph:

3Boys:

\"Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.\"


Time for your hubs to cut the apron strings. Harsh, but necessary. I don't know the rights or wrongs of your situation, but if this drives you nuts, it is your prerogative as the wife to say NO.

3Boys,
I still patiently waiting for this day to come... and in the mean time, i have to eat the humble pie. I'm living under FIL's roof and so they call the shots - even though I'm paying for the toilet paper to the meals put on the table to any new appliances when the old ones had stopped working... I was told (by my SIL) that since I'm living under their roof, even if it comes to my kids, they will also call the shots. :shock: :shock:

I wish you all the best. Its not an easy situation I know. Your kids are your own, you have accountability and its your right to raise them the way you see fit.

[Picolo]

janet_lee88:

mummy of 2:

[quote=\"buds\"] No, i'm not giving up. After

this long and this close, i wud give it one last pit with all i've got in me.

Hi sista

That's the way to go! Don't give up wothout a fight! You are this close to freedom. I hope you will eventually get your wish to be out of the line of fire, even though it's 10 yeears too late.

We wish you all the best. You have to get your own place and lead own life...after all you have served them for 10 years.[/quote]Hi Buds,

Yes! That's the way! :ugogirl: Keep your spirits up and hang in there. It's now or never. Really. If you give in now, you won't have another chance. Only another episode of you-know-what.

I am very thankful to have an understanding MIL and I don't have to live with her. She needs her space and freedom and I dearly need mine. If she lives with me, there will be 2 Empress Dowagers, can die... thanks to my MIL for her foresight.

About 10 years ago, I attended a Marriage Preparation Course with my HB, and the course instructor told all under his tutelage the danger of staying together with ILs. I think the course was insightful and I feel that all new couples should go through a course like this one.

[janet88]

Hi Picolo,

You are fortunate to have an Empress Dowager who wants her own space and not willing to share her throne with you. HaHaHa.

Some couples are not that lucky to have their own space for certain reasons. However for other reasons, some couples will want to stay together with their in-laws…I know of one couple and the MANY clashes which hv happened but still refuses to move out.

[cherrygal]

My mom says she can be empress dowager only in her own home. So if my bro and SIL wanna stay with them under my parents' roof, my bro and SIL gotta be respectful. Otherwise, they can go back to their own home and look after their own kid.


But my mom says once the parents live under their children's roofs, the parents gotta know when to shut up. To her, it's a matter of who owns the home. So she will never sell her home to live with her kids coz she wanna be dowager.

I agree with her.

[cherrygal]

LKVM:

Yes I agree with you but with some MIL(like mine) even though house is ours ie mine and DH she feels its theirs cause DH is his son oredi :stupid: so can be empress dowager

then you gotta whack that DH of urs... :spank:

[cherrygal]

LKVM:

cherrygal:

[quote=\"LKVM\"]
Yes I agree with you but with some MIL(like mine) even though house is ours ie mine and DH she feels its theirs cause DH is his son oredi :stupid: so can be empress dowager

then you gotta whack that DH of urs... :spank:

DH always plays diplomatically :|[/quote]I think it's easier said than done but if it's our own home, we gotta be the empress, not MIL. If MIL wanna be dowager, then I would ask her to return to her own palace. If she wanna cry to my hubby, then I would tell hubby to find a better woman to take care of him, his kids and his parents.
I will not be relegated to a palace maid in my own home that I used my money and CPF to buy. Speak to me again if he can afford the property by himself, without any help from me.

[shine_fs]

cherrygal:

My mom says she can be empress dowager only in her own home. So if my bro and SIL wanna stay with them under my parents' roof, my bro and SIL gotta be respectful. Otherwise, they can go back to their own home and look after their own kid.


But my mom says once the parents live under their children's roofs, the parents gotta know when to shut up. To her, it's a matter of who owns the home. So she will never sell her home to live with her kids coz she wanna be dowager.

I agree with her.

Ur mum is clever..... :lol:

[janet88]

cherrygal:

My mom says she can be empress dowager only in her own home. So if my bro and SIL wanna stay with them under my parents' roof, my bro and SIL gotta be respectful. Otherwise, they can go back to their own home and look after their own kid.


But my mom says once the parents live under their children's roofs, the parents gotta know when to shut up. To her, it's a matter of who owns the home. So she will never sell her home to live with her kids coz she wanna be dowager.

I agree with her.

So true...if want to be dowager, please stay in own place. My grandmother is 80+, has her own flat (left by my grandfather) but keeps dropping hints of selling it. Problem is she cannot stay with anyone and no one is in favour of her selling it. That flat is for her to throw tantrums.

My mum is also one who will never sell her home to stay with her kids, bcos she wants to be dowager.

[Mrs Ang]

cherrygal:

LKVM:

[quote=\"cherrygal\"]
then you gotta whack that DH of urs... :spank:

DH always plays diplomatically

I think it's easier said than done but if it's our own home, we gotta be the empress, not MIL. If MIL wanna be dowager, then I would ask her to return to her own palace. If she wanna cry to my hubby, then I would tell hubby to find a better woman to take care of him, his kids and his parents.
I will not be relegated to a palace maid in my own home that I used my money and CPF to buy. Speak to me again if he can afford the property by himself, without any help from me.[/quote]You are right! MIL can be the dowager if his son own the property 100%.