toddler staying overnight at other's place?

[atrecord]

my kids take turns to stay at my parents’ place. DD stays on Suns-Thurs, minus Tues. DS stays on Tues. This is for before-school arrangement/convenience.


Noone else would go over there at nights, so there’s no external danger…

[janet88]

ksi:

It is very hard to invite my child for sleepover because she would not barge. Everyone in the extended family loves her to bits but it does not mean that she would like to do sleepovers without her parents. She is not sticky as she is an independent child since young but she just feels that family should be together. Going out with extended family is more acceptable to her, sleepover is a non-attraction.

My kids are close to my parents and only brother...as for going out with them, they are too happy. However, forget about sleepovers because they will never agree. 6 year old daughter will only go out with parents but come bedtime, both will come back to me.

[EASON MAGPIES]

Hi


I am a new daddy. When I read your story, I understand how you feel.

My DD only 8 months old. I am also the BAD guy. Even at such young age, she also want her mummy more. Worse, I stay with my parents and my dad (her grandpa - worst culprit) will run to her even if she make the slightest scream. So my attempt to train my DD failed instantly.

My dad loves to bring her for walk at least twice a day, sometimes 3-4 times. So now my DD will make scream if she wants to go out or if nobody brings her out during the day.

When my DD was born, I got into quite a bit of conflict with wife and my own parents. Miserable for me and I took sometime to adjust. I am a very hands-on dad and like you I also believe kids are like white paper and we adults draw what we want on them. Our own kids whether good or bad are our responsibility (the parents) so I sort of understand all that you going through.

I took a long time communicating first with wife and then my mum to finally get through to them (not my dad). I myself also make some compromise. Now things are better though problems crops up once in a while. I cannot communicate with my dad since young so usually let my mum do it.

The only lucky thing for me is I got NO in laws to deal with.

I would never allow my dd to stay overnight with anyone else. Even my own parents offer to take care of her and let me and DW go on a short holiday, I have yet to accept. Lucky my DW agrees with me on this.

One excuse I use is that they are old and its not easy to take care of young baby through the night.

But since yours is 2 years old already then guess you might not be able to use that same excuse. Maybe you can think of some other excuse.

I think you probably can reject your in-laws but you are worried to put your wife in a difficult position so I guess you got to communicate with your wife and come to a compromise.

I always tell my wife we only have one daughter (I only intend to have 1) so we must really take care of her as accident can happen anywhere and anytime so we have to be very kiasu when it comes to our DD.

I read about the recent death of a young toddler in this forum and I tell my DW and my parents the story.

Recently my nephew and niece got HFMD and my friend baby also. My friend baby - 7 months even had to admit to hospital for a few days so again I use this stories to remind my wife and parents again and again to wash their hands and general hygiene. I am quite particular. My dad likes to bring DD down to the playground and sometimes it really gets me worried.

Now I become more naggy than my parents but I dont mind being called naggy as I want to drill into my wife and parents the things I feel is important for my DD.

Still for a few times daily I dont know where my dad brings my DD downstairs. What to do? I am working and my wife also can stop him. I know I tried my best. So when I am home, I would tell them I want to spend time with my DD.

Guess we can only do our best. My only hope is as we spend more time with our DD, we can also influence even as others do too.

All the best to you.Sometimes I feel so tired and think perhaps I should just let them do what they want. I would then remind myself to persist because if I don’t then who else is going to? So even if you feel tired, do persist and communicate with your wife.

[janet88]

Where kids’ discipline is concerned, BOTH husband and wife must agree with one another and never fight in front of them or else the kid will know whose head he/she can climb on. This applies to maids as well.


My kids never stay overnight at my parents place all these years without hubby & I…son is very close to parents as we stayed at parents place for 3 years before moving back to own place.

[duriz]

EASON MAGPIES:

All the best to you.Sometimes I feel so tired and think perhaps I should just let them do what they want. I would then remind myself to persist because if I don't then who else is going to? So even if you feel tired, do persist and communicate with your wife.

Always good to read and learn from a Daddy's point of view. Thank you Daddy EASON MAGPIES :celebrate:

[buds]

duriz:

Always good to read and learn from a Daddy's point of view.

I share your thoughts, duriz. :hi5:

Since more challenge to get mine to open up or crack up rather... :politebleah:
good to hear from those who are so nice and willing to share a man's perspective..

Useful and insightful.

[duriz]

buds:

I share your thoughts, duriz. :hi5:

Hiya Mummy buds :hi5:

[w_y_chung]

LOLMum:

reading your comments about your mil, i couldnt help but wonder if she has a hand in the way your wife is treating your parents as stated in your other thread.

I hope not. So far I do not see much evidence on this. In fact I start to notice she is asking my DD to interact with me when I am visiting their place. Maybe she sensed I am not happen with them 'taking' my DD away from me

LOLMum:

meanwhile back to the issue of staying overnite at a relative's house which i think is a great idea. both dd and ds have had sleepovers at our relatives' house and so far both kids have slept in the same bed/room with only the female relatives. none of the male (except for a younger boy) have shared a bed with my kids.

cheers

Recently my DD refused to have bath/showers.
DW mentioned this to me and I immediately felt that something happened to DD when she was at BIL's place (stayed there a few days ago).
I didn't say anything and just ask DW what could be the cause but she cannot figure out.

A few days later when DW mentioned to MIL this problem. MIL said it could be DW of BIL put shower on full strength or water too hot/cold and therefore frightened DW, leaving behind this fear in her. Note DW of BIL has not experience looking after toddler. My DW is a guinea-pig for her!!!!! :stupid: :x

Again I did not immediately jumped on it but concurred with MIL that this could be the reason.

During weekend, DW good mood and she brought up the shower problem. I told her then I suspected this right from the start but did not bring it up to avoid her thinking I have something against BIL/DW of BIL.
I expanded to explain to her if shower can go wrong, there could be other things that happened and even harder for DD to recover hence no overnight stay.

Hope this thought stays with her.

[janet88]

w_Y_chung,

I think you really need to sit down and have a good talk with your wife over your daughter.

It’s strange that your BIL’s wife, who has no experience looking after a child would be bathing your daughter. My sister-in-law only carried my daughter to wash her hands.

[Eagle-Ladybird]

duriz:

Always good to read and learn from a Daddy's point of view. Thank you Daddy EASON MAGPIES :celebrate:

Wah, this is ego boosting man !!

OK, daddies don't waste time at Super Daddy Club. Jam here and feed comments, the ladies are patiently waiting :evil: :siam: