In-law problems?

[kiasume]

autumnbronze:

You are not alone, dear :hugs:

If you need to talk, here's where you can unburden your woes

http://www.kiasuparents.com/kiasu/forum/viewtopic.php?p=143202#143202

Thanks autumnbronze, this is really good platform to unburden my woes, which have been suppressing me for years.

I used to be very embarrassed with the type of mother I have and will not share with my best friends what type of mother I have. :oops:

After the children incident, I no longer feels that way. I am very open with others what sort of mother I have.

[Jennifer]

These few days newspaper has been focusing on how great a woman the late Mrs LKY was as a wife, a mum and a grandma. Let’s try to forget the unhappiness in our life and work on the happy moments and creating more of these happy moments.

[Jennifer]

kiasume:

I used to be very embarrassed with the type of mother I have and will not share with my best friends what type of mother I have. :oops:


After the children incident, I no longer feels that way. I am very open with others what sort of mother I have.

U r fortunate in a way that there is a mother figure in your life all this while. Mine? No recollection of how she looked like until I was in my teens. By then, she was a total stranger. I did not even attend her funeral. I hv only 1 piece of vivid memory of her- canning me.

[Sun_2010]

Jennifer:

These few days newspaper has been focusing on how great a woman the late Mrs LKY was as a wife, a mum and a grandma. Let's try to forget the unhappiness in our life and work on the happy moments and creating more of these happy moments.

Wise advice.

I'm trying , trying, trying...

[buds]

Jennifer:

I hv only 1 piece of vivid memory of her- canning me.

Oh dear...

:hugs: Jen..

[kiasume]

angela:

Now, my BIL's wife is pregnant and going to deliver end of November. Both brothers can discuss to get a maid to help their mother as my mil will be looking after their baby. I disagree as later the maid need to look after whose kids? Hb always wants his mother to look after our kids but the problem is his mother does not want to. She always has many excuses.

Anyway, now I am hoping that my mil will stay at my bil's house to look after their bb.

Hello Angela,

Yes you are correct. Never never share maid.

No one will ever believes me. My own sister shared the maid with me and my bro. Guess what....behind my back....sis will screamed at the maid. Of course the maid is scared lah, and so concerntrate on her loh.

How do I know this? Sometime by standing outside the main door and you will hear all her shouts and screams. The maid also told me all these when she left SGP.

After that, I became a changed person. I started to make plans.

So my advise to you.....NEVER NEVER SHARE MAIDS. Not even with your own siblings.

[buds]

Jennifer:

These few days newspaper has been focusing on how great a woman the late Mrs LKY was as a wife, a mum and a grandma. Let's try to forget the unhappiness in our life and work on the happy moments and creating more of these happy moments.

Agree..

We have past experiences to reflect upon and better ourselves...
mirror ourselves to \"try\" be better mothers / parents ourselves..

Forgetting unhappiness may be a lil' far fetched for me right now
honestly... can overlook awhile lar a bit here a bit there until new
issues surface or even old issues \"re-surface\".. :faint: ... but to me
somehow, the old unhappiness does in a way motivate me to create
and work on having happier ones..

Like some say, without the past there won't be a future.

[kiasume]

Jennifer:

These few days newspaper has been focusing on how great a woman the late Mrs LKY was as a wife, a mum and a grandma. Let's try to forget the unhappiness in our life and work on the happy moments and creating more of these happy moments.

You know Jen, it is so difficult.

Till today, I just can't see what exactly my mum has done good things for me in all these years. :roll: To be honest, I am cracking my brain to see whether is there any goodness in her for me. :?

All I can remember is she dunk my head in a squating toilet and big earthen pot. That is what I only remember most.

She made me run errand for her when I am sitting for a big exam the next day while the other sibilings are playing around. By the way, I am not the older child.

[buds]

angela:

Anyway, now I am hoping that my mil will stay at my bil's house to look after their bb.

Heyya angela, been sometime since i've seen you around here.. you must
be utterly busy with both your children now. I sincerely hope you are well
and that your children are healthy and happy... I too that your MIL
will decide to stay over at your BIL's place to look after their baby, so that
you can look after yours... but, wouldn't it mean it would be hard for you
to work full time?

I can fully understand your situation with such a filial son to his mother.. :snuggles:

I fully understand... mine can flare up the slightest bit when it comes to his parents
especially with mother... He has this sense of protective-ness over her
unlike with the children and i... BIL is different. He knows his mom's pattern
& protects his wife's and children's interest first before acceeding to whimsical
demands of his mom's. He really puts his family's happiness first before his
or his mother's own... cos he says if his family is unhappy then he would be
going back to an unhappy environment... and he does not like that at all.
He specifically states he does not want his parents to interfere with how he
and his wife manages their children or their household and not to purposely
create friction btwn people in the house...

wow...

[kiasume]

Totally agreed with Buds. I can never forget the past especially coming from my own mother.


I will learn from her mistake and will not do it to my children. I will control my children not to be hurtful to one another. I will teach my children never to get jealous with one another.

Instead tap on each other strength to create a unity for a family. I always nag at my older boy that he has only one brother and that is very precious. When my younger ones is old enough, I will do the same for him as well.