No Problem is problem

[Angelight]

This topic on 'teh-ing' and showing appreciation is getting more and more interesting that I have to log on everyday to read.


Being a SAHM, DH will kiss and hug me and DD before he leaves for work, and also receives kisses and hugs from his '2 girls' who would see him off at the door.

When he comes home in the evening, he never fails to give a loud cheery \"Honey, I'm home!\" unless on days when he has an extremely bad or tired day. DD will usually greet him at the door; for me, it depends what I'm busy with at that moment.

At dinner time, DH always thanks me for the home cooked dinner. And lately, he has been thanking me for \"giving him DD\" :love:

I show my love in more practical ways like replenishing his shampoo and shower gel; getting his work shirts and tie ready in the morning; and leaving him love notes once in a while.

Actually, come to think of it, these gestures of teh-ing and showing appreciation all boils down to the languages of love, which is very important to keep a marriage alive and strong.

[Funz]

buds:

Funz:

And he wants me to show appreciation to him for his effort in coming home to have dinner with us. For this, I just stared bug eyed at him. I am suppose to say thank you for THAT?!?!?!?

I have friends whose husbands never seem to BE at the dinner table at
all... or even be home by the time they go to bed. These friends are
that their husbands are not making effort to come home (cos sometimes
out entertaining with clients or having drinks and supper with friends) &
just be around the family... They say if their husbands do not need to do
the school run in the mornings, the children may never get to see them
at all.

I suppose the appreciation is simply being there.. :hugs: No words needed.
For some things, actions do speak louder than words.

I guess for years I have been in the same position as those friends of yours. When we were first married, I came home to an empty house and go to bed on my own practically every night. When preggy with DD, I would rather roam orchard road till midnight rather then come home to an empty house. That says a lot for one who hates crowd and finds shopping a chore. We quarrelled incessantly about his late nights. I will call and ask him if he will be back for dinner, he will say yes but I will be waiting until as late as 10pm and he is not back. And when I call again he will sound totally harrassed. Eventually in our some of our many quarrels, he said that he feels stressed about this dinner thing. Cos when I call asking him, he does not want to tell me no so he says yes but when he finds himself caught up with whatever engagement he has and when I call he gets defensive and thus lash out at me. Eventually I stopped calling or asking him if he will be home for dinner, I made my own dinner plans.

So, now he wants me to thank him for coming home for dinner... well you can see, never ever gonna happen.

Greeting him at the door? That is more likely to happen. As it is we are heading to the airport later to pick him up. See, above and beyond, I am not waiting for him to come home, I am going to the doorstep of Singapore to greet him. Guess he did get himself a dog afterall.

Haiz. so many issues to resolve.

[autumnbronze]

Funz:

Haiz. so many issues to resolve.

Hey Funz,

From your postings, you are one strong and determined babe :ugogirl:

Hang in there ...

All the best :hugs: :hugs:

ps: Not sure if you saw my posting of list of counsellors/life coaches for you in the thread under Health. If you are still looking for one, then its on pg 6

[Sun_2010]

Funz:

I am going to the doorstep of Singapore to greet him. Guess he did get himself a dog afterall.


Haiz. so many issues to resolve.

Now now the air port is a public place so dont go licking n yapping

But seriously jedamum's sharing was kinda eye opener. Not that dh expects me to be there , atleast he hasnt told me, still i feel guilty for not doing it.

Jedamum :salute: to you

[duriz]

Sun_2010:

Now now the air port is a public place so dont go licking n yapping

Now won't that be a sight for sore eyes?
REEL life indeed

[DesertWind]

3Boys:

I very scared to post in this thread.....

Woa...haa...haa..! 3boys scared to post in KSP? :nailbite:

That must be a first! Surely kuddos to us ladies here! :rahrah:

But don't be intimidated by us here, it does not befits your reputation.

So by all means share your teh-ing skills here - we promise not to put you on the rotary board and hold our darts.

I DARE YOU TO!
:cheeky:

[DesertWind]

autumnbronze:

I never bothered to step out of my room to say goodbye to my dad when he left for KL. Two days later, he passed away in a fatal hit and run accident there. The feeling of regret really gnaws at me whenever I think about it.

Oh... we all take our own parents for granted one way or the other autumnbronze!

[Funz]

autumnbronze:

Funz:

Haiz. so many issues to resolve.

Hey Funz,

From your postings, you are one strong and determined babe :ugogirl:

Hang in there ...

All the best :hugs: :hugs:

ps: Not sure if you saw my posting of list of counsellors/life coaches for you in the thread under Health. If you are still looking for one, then its on pg 6

Yup, thanks. DH is currently seeing a counsellor. However, he refuse to tell me how each session goes. I have a feeling that he may go for maybe another 1 or 2 session and then stop completely claiming it does not help. Well I hope to be proven wrong. :xedfingers:

[3Boys]

DesertWind:

3Boys:

I very scared to post in this thread.....

Woa...haa...haa..! 3boys scared to post in KSP? :nailbite:

That must be a first! Surely kuddos to us ladies here! :rahrah:

But don't be intimidated by us here, it does not befits your reputation.

So by all means share your teh-ing skills here - we promise not to put you on the rotary board and hold our darts.

I DARE YOU TO!
:cheeky:

Heh heh, have been busy lah!

Someone mentioned that not all couples react the same way to 'teh-ing' and I can only agree. So yes, different strokes for different folks, and I am only sharing about my current state of relationship between DW and myself, which I think its very good. At the least I light up when I see her, we talk a lot, laugh a lot and like to spend time together, and we are passionate in love. That's all I mean to say, and not meant to be taken as gloating, yah?

How do I dissect this? Its been a evolutionary process, and we didn't always get along so famously, but communication has been key. During some periods of our relationship, she had taken the lead in initiating things, and in some periods in had been myself. This thing about love languages was merely an evolution of the growth in communication. Underlying all that, was the determination that we are in this together for life, and that we are no.2 in each others lives (no.1 being God), and that we would not take each other for granted. So if I were to boil it down, this last point is probably it. The physical side of our relationship is the best its ever been, communications work well and we have a ton of fun.

So is it 'teh-ing'? Perhaps, 'cause DW is flexible, responsive and willing to play ball and put my interests first, and I hers.

Obviously circumstances are different in different families. In many ways, I have been blessed, but I do not take that for granted either for circumstances can always change.

Have been rather woolly in this post, not sure if I have clarified or 'obfuscated'.....

[duriz]

3Boys:

So is it 'teh-ing'? Perhaps, 'cause DW is flexible, responsive and willing to play ball and put my interests first, and I hers.


Obviously circumstances are different in different families. In many ways, I have been blessed, but I do not take that for granted either for circumstances can always change.

Have been rather woolly in this post, not sure if I have clarified or 'obfuscated'.....

:celebrate: Congratulations on a successful and rewarding marriage, oh woolly one yessir yessir 3 bags full :celebrate:

No worries, methinks our grasp of English here is pretty good here and we understood you purrrrr-fit-ly.

See I can teh too :rotflmao: