is it possible to make it without tuition

[atutor2001]

Tuition or no tuition, I feel that we are hiding from the truth.


Put it crudely - If my kids would listen to me, no need tuition. If kid bo chap my words then need good tuition to make him chap.

Personal experience - my kids all no tuition but ok because they listen to DH. Many complained that their kids are more naughty than mind. I assure you that my youngest one is of the worst type any parent would wish to have. Rebellious, lazy, receive complaints from school so many times - so embarrassing. Somehow, my DH has a way with this kid; peaking at PSLE and now going downhill again. DH said study is like sport, cannot maintain peak form all the way for people like them - can get burn out. I am secretly praying that he would not lose control of this last one because there is still Air level to go.

[Lock]

mrswongtuition:

[

I encourage independent learning and even with tuition, this is possible.
It really depends on how the tutor push & prods the students, not just handing out answers.

Honestly, after teaching so many kids for years, those who are NOT independent learners are mostly those whose mums are SAHMs who sit with them to do their work.

What about independence on what to study and how to study?

Opps...I am a SAHM. but i do not sit with my kids to do their work. In fact, I leave all sch wk to them. But I do have to tell them what to study and what to practice.

Can you share with me how to train them to be independent even with tuition?

[Lock]

atutor2001:

Tuition or no tuition, I feel that we are hiding from the truth.

Sorry, a bit slow here. What truth are we hiding from :?

What about subject proficiency? My fear is that I may not be proficient enough in the various subjects to impart knowledge to my kids (u know how maths n science is like nowadays), then am I depriving the kids of learning from a professional?

[jedamum]

mrswongtuition:

Honestly, after teaching so many kids for years, those who are NOT independent learners are mostly those whose mums are SAHMs who sit with them to do their work.

chicken and egg issues.
are they NOT independent learners cos their SAHMs sit with them?
or their SAHMs sit with them cos they are NOT independent learners?

How about kids who are independent learners but complacent in their achievement? my dh is an independent learner. he taught himself may things including sports and games. but he only skim the surface and moved on once he knows these stuff and never excel in any; however, the skills that he learnt is that of self-teaching. i am an independent learner, but i put in 150% effort just to try to get 100% outcome; i am obsessed with perfection and frustrated cos i couldn't exceed certain mark barrier while at the same time i see fellow classmates who spent little time studying and yet can do just as well or even better than i do (maybe i could have done better with lesser time committing to try to swim by myself if i have the benefit of studying tips from external source?).
so there is a downside to being an independent learner without tuition.

[jedamum]

Lock:

What about subject proficiency? My fear is that I may not be proficient enough in the various subjects to impart knowledge to my kids (u know how maths n science is like nowadays), then am I depriving the kids of learning from a professional?

Lock,
i am at this same crossroad as you. :stupid: :stupid:

[Jennifer]

jedamum:

mrswongtuition:

Honestly, after teaching so many kids for years, those who are NOT independent learners are mostly those whose mums are SAHMs who sit with them to do their work.

chicken and egg issues.
are they NOT independent learners cos their SAHMs sit with them?
or their SAHMs sit with them cos they are NOT independent learners?

I think parents must learn to let go. It's a matter of when to let go. I coached my elder boy since P1, sent him to EL creative writing courses since I cant teach this subject, and outsourced CL when we ended up shouting at each other most of the times. I chose to let go when he was in mid P4. Sure enough there was a slip in results, but it served as a wake-up call to him. His unexpected results in P5 CA1 further jolted him to pay more attention to how he managed on his own. I always tell my hubby we must let the child fails at some pt in time so that he learns to pick himself up. IMO the earlier we let go, the better since the stakes are not so high yet. Now he is an independent learner, except when it comes to MT :oops:

[Lock]

jedamum:

Lock:

What about subject proficiency? My fear is that I may not be proficient enough in the various subjects to impart knowledge to my kids (u know how maths n science is like nowadays), then am I depriving the kids of learning from a professional?

Lock,
i am at this same crossroad as you. :stupid: :stupid:

Ya. Very frustrating. Cos now is the period where most centres are doing recruitment for 2011 classes and I got to decide quick, otherwise no more vacancy (esp for very popular and good centres).

My dd is the very obedient, disciplined and diligent type. Very attentive also, so I don't have problem to teach her myself and I homeschooled my children when they were in pre-pri. Its just that now my kiasu instinct is bugging me, making me think that letting her continue with her tuition will enable her to be at her optimal performance since she is learning from the professionals. I can teach but probably can't be as good as those with years of experience behind them and tons of tried and tested materials.

But I have other concerns as mentioned in my earlier post.
Hence :stupid: :stupid: :stupid:

[jedamum]

Jennifer:

I think parents must learn to let go.

I always tell my hubby we must let the child fails at some pt in time so that he learns to pick himself up. IMO the earlier we let go, the better since the stakes are not so high yet.

:goodpost:

[atutor2001]

Lock:

atutor2001:

Tuition or no tuition, I feel that we are hiding from the truth.

Sorry, a bit slow here. What truth are we hiding from :?

What about subject proficiency? My fear is that I may not be proficient enough in the various subjects to impart knowledge to my kids (u know how maths n science is like nowadays), then am I depriving the kids of learning from a professional?

Lack of subject proficiency is the most common reasons parents feel as to why we can't teach our kids. However, I have a relative with not even primary education, too poor to pay for tuition, got her sons to HC (though they qualified for RI). Many will think that she is lucky to have kids that are self-disciplined. However, I witnessed how she taught and disciplined them since young. She made them help in cleaning toilets, make bed... at very young age (pre-primary). I believe many mummies would cry foul. They were explained of the reality that they cannot match others in wealth and need to strive on their own.

The truth that we are hiding from is : \"we do not accept the fact that we are unable to motivate and move our kids i.e. we have lost control to a certain extent\" - I am included because it is DH who is doing all that. Hiding from this reality, we send our kids to tutors, and justify our actions with reasons such as - syllabus too tough, I don't know how to teach, my kid is slower and more playful.....

[Lock]

atutor2001:

The truth that we are hiding from is : \"we do not accept the fact that we are unable to motivate and move our kids i.e. we have lost control to a certain extent\" - I am included because it is DH who is doing all that. Hiding from this reality, we send our kids to tutors, and justify our actions with reasons such as - syllabus too tough, I don't know how to teach, my kid is slower and more playful.....

Hmm...interesting point.