disappointment wif kids

[kids_r_innocent]

24hr-mum:

thanks. but sometimes when i nag at them, my hubby will say why u so fierce, sigh....n i get blamed instead.


we sacrifice our $ time effort on lettg them learn this n that n they instead complain, 'i practise already', not becos they not interested, but due to sheer laziness n complacency. i get very frus..feel like givg up

Not sure how old are your children. As for my preschoolers, after i advise them, i would adopt the \"make your own choice and bear your own consequences\" method even on homeworks.

I dun repeat or nag at them and try to stay calm when dealing with them but of course, both Daddy and Mummy have to stand by the same house rules for my two kids; be consistent and it works!!

As for enrichment classes, i have also learn to let go from my 2nd kid. Learn based on their interest, if not we will drop them out of the class. I have also learn that by making learning fun and involve yourself in it, the results are definitely better than sending them to enrichment classes.

[24hr-mum]

for academic classes, usu the kids are not interested in subjects that they are weak. so cant let them learn ‘based on interest’. i feel that they must learn that in life, some things u hv to do even if u are not interested, if they are essential. avoiding difficulties only make them soft

[kids_r_innocent]

24hr-mum:

for academic classes, usu the kids are not interested in subjects that they are weak. so cant let them learn 'based on interest'. i feel that they must learn that in life, some things u hv to do even if u are not interested, if they are essential. avoiding difficulties only make them soft

OIC.. its academic supplementary classes. Sure!! I do agree that they have to understand that in life that there are tings that we have to do even if we do not like it.

Like in my kid's case, if the elder kid does not want to complete the assignment given by the abacus teacher, then we will let it be coz the child will have to learn to face the music (answer to the teacher!!). We normally dun let them avoid the difficulties but instead let them learn the hard way if they insist on their decisions.

On the other side of the coin, we praise them and catch them doing the right ting when they try even if the answers are wrong or it's juz a few mins of sitting down and doing their work.

[3Boys]

I think we need to accept our kids for what they are, and not what we wish for them to be. Its natural that we want them to do well in life, but it should be that we wish for them to do well for THEMselves, and not for OUR sakes. That way, we do not set ourselves to be disappointed, if they fail to meet OUR expectations.


By all means, set lofty goals, challenge your children to better themselves, but should they not achieve them, they need to know they can come back to a safe zone with their parents.

As parents, I don’t think we have an option to give up on our kids.

[tamarind]

24hr-mum:

for academic classes, usu the kids are not interested in subjects that they are weak. so cant let them learn 'based on interest'. i feel that they must learn that in life, some things u hv to do even if u are not interested, if they are essential. avoiding difficulties only make them soft

As parents, we should still have our own life. That's why I continue to work even after I have 2 kids. I love traveling, and I even continue to travel for leisure on my own, without the kids. I work not only to provide for the kids, but so that I can enjoy retail therapy when necessary. This way, I am still living my life the way I want it to be, so I don't have to pin all my hopes on my kids.

As for enrichment classes for English/Chinese/Maths, these can be a big waste of money. It is not true that if kids attend expensive classes, then they will do well academically. Many of these classes do not have the best methods to teach kids.

I do my own research to find out what the most effective methods to teach my kids at home. I only need to spend less than 30 mins teaching each child, and I am very happy with their English and Chinese, no enrichment classes can achieve that kind of standards.

Instead of sending to enrichment classes, parents should spend more time finding out what are the best methods to teach your kids. I believe that all kids love to learn by nature, but it is just that the teaching methods in the classes do not suit them. It is not fair to blame the kids for being lazy.

The only thing that I am disappointed with, is that my boy do not like maths. My hubby and I, and even my older girl, are all able to do maths effortlessly, and we all love maths. Sometimes I do feel sad that my boy have not inherited this ability, but that is really not his fault. I taught Maths to a large number of students before, and I know that if a person does not have strong abilities in Maths, he may still be able to score an A or B, if he is very hardworking, but we cannot hope for near perfect scores. That is why, I do not even bother to send him to maths enrichment classes, it would have been useless, and may even make him hate maths even more. I am still thinking of ways to encourage him to like maths, and I do hope that he is just a late developer.

[24hr-mum]

what if u are just asking ur boy to do only 1 page or 2page of worksheet n he tells u, why ask me do so much wk, i cant finish leh? and starts to whine n whine?


if he doesnt want tuition, surely u hv to teach urself. but if he is not willig to cooperate and work wif u, ie unteachable at hm, how?

let him fail his sch exam?
u know, there are some kids who say, fail, fail lor.
eg when i told my girl, if u dont get ready now i wld leave the house wifout u, and she say then i dont go lor. n u know u cant leave her alone at home but hv to bring her out, then how?

[pummanuel]

tamarind:

...parents should spend more time finding out what are the best methods to teach your kids. I believe that all kids love to learn by nature, but it is just that the teaching methods in the classes do not suit them.

I second Tamarind on this. Many of my daughter's classmates attend academic enrichment programmes and my daughter also wanted to try. She tried trial classes but didn't like them and told me she preferred me to teach. Being an untrained mother, I tried several methods before getting it right. Though we still have our 'confrontations' at times (hehe), but generally our lessons are fun and enjoyable.

Of course, I do not know what she will become when she grows up. So I just invest and save hard to plan for an overseas tertiary education. I may or may not use it but at least with Plan B, I'm not so stressed out.

tamarind:

The only thing that I am disappointed with, is that my boy do not like maths. My hubby and I, and even my older girl, are all able to do maths effortlessly, and we all love maths. Sometimes I do feel sad that my boy have not inherited this ability, but that is really not his fault.

I know of a family of CPAs (Chartered Accountants). They groomed the eldest son to be an accountant. He's working in the top accounting firm now. The plan is he will either become a partner through his family's connections or take over his uncle's accounting firm.

As for the second son, he was always struggling with Maths. Though he managed to get an A or B but by his family's standards, he did not make the mark in terms of numerical sense. BUT he reads very extensively. He went to HCI Humanities scheme, topped the Humanities cohort and got a scholarship to Oxford/Cambridge (I cannot remember).

[24hr-mum]

but not all kids can be homeschooled.

my boy only listens to outsiders to whom he will not whine.

[tamarind]

pummanuel,

My boy likes English much better, and I will support him in whatever courses that he wants to do in the future.
But he has to study maths until A levels, and I just feel sad for him, that he is going to have to put in a lot more hard work to get above average grades.

My boy also prefers me to teach him, our lessons are also fun and enjoyable.

24hr-mum,
I would not say that I homeschooled my kids, because they attended kindergarten. I do enrichment at home, so that I don’t need to spend extra money. When I teach at home, it is completely different from how the teachers teach in the classroom. The child has my undivided attention, and he is always engaged in interesting activities. Many parents think that kids should learn by sitting at a desk and write for many hours a day, this is a mistake. If we use effective methods, a child can spend less than 30 mins a day learning, and still be far more advance than other kids.

[MMM]

We were at a family gathering and were discussing about kids. One of my sils and her hubby were \"bickering\" on favouritism. My sil claimed that my bil cannot teach my PSLE nephew as he is always impatient with him (he was doing badly academic). My bil was like if you can teach him well and is so patient why are you starting to scream at him now???? Even the neighbours can hear.


Then we came to a realisation that she is not the only one who did it (*scream at kids*). Another sil also did it with her P4 son. Er... my hubby chipped in and said I do that too so our neighbours probably know us very well already The scolding mum and the lazy kids

Sometimes I feel that it stems from our stressful lives. I know I am not very patient when I coach them at night after a day at work. Sometimes I also have to manage with night conference calls. So if they are cooperative, good. If not.. then I would get frustrated and started to scold them.

Also, I agree that I do get sorely disappointed if they don't do well in school. This is because after spending so much time with them and spending so much money, we do expect to see results. I always tell them passing is never a issue in their case. We are not talking about passing but doing their best and getting good scores. I also told them, if they do badly because the question is difficult, I accept it. But I cannot accept careless mistakes. This will make me very angry...