Ok to carry kids' sch bags when picking them up from sch?

[janet88]

verykiasu2010:

markfch:

I pick ds from his sch daily. I observed that a lot of parents will help carry their kids' sch bags to their cars. I refused to do that cos I'm paranoid that this will encourage ds to be reliant on me in future.


Qn: Am I paranoid?

I think you are paranoid because it does not necessarily mean that your DS will be reliant on you to carry his bag in the future.

That part on \"reliant\" on others is very much part of the overall bringing up process and day to day value-impartation to him

One day, he will say to you, \"Dad, it is ok, I can manage\".....and soon see him helping you to carry your bags of cash / grocery without being told to do so.

I do carry son's bag when I walk him to school every morn...once he gets the locker key...don't think I will do so since his school bag will be much lighter after that. He does offer to help carry some bags of supermarket grocery from the car until doorstep.

[markfch]

I don’t mean that I’m worried ds will expect me to carry his bag in future. I’m more coming from the angle that it is his (ds’s) responsibility to carry his own sch bag, so he should do it himself. Of course I helped by investing in a good ergonomics bag for him.


In the house whenever ds messed up anything, he knows my expectation is that he cleans up the mess himself. I hope that by doing all these, ds grows up with a stronger & more resilient character than me. Don’t know whether my reasoning makes sense?

[verykiasu2010]

markfch:

I don't mean that I'm worried ds will expect me to carry his bag in future. I'm more coming from the angle that it is his (ds's) responsibility to carry his own sch bag, so he should do it himself. Of course I helped by investing in a good ergonomics bag for him.


In the house whenever ds messed up anything, he knows my expectation is that he cleans up the mess himself. I hope that by doing all these, ds grows up with a stronger & more resilient character than me. Don't know whether my reasoning makes sense?

of course makes sense lah......eh, you only have one DS, better make sure his back is not hurt especially these days school bags are heavy, causing spine to be compressed, retarding growth in height, etc. think about it. I am NOT being sarcastic hor, mark

[markfch]

verykiasu2010:

of course makes sense lah......eh, you only have one DS, better make sure his back is not hurt especially these days school bags are heavy, causing spine to be compressed, retarding growth in height, etc. think about it. I am NOT being sarcastic hor, mark

You got me worried with your health talk. Single child or not, I would still resist carrying ds's bag unless it is absolutely necessary. Just weighed ds's bag fully loaded. DS is 25kg, bag is 2.8kg. Would there be any health issues?

[Alex001]

Children, in the first place, should not leave their school bags with parents just to carry UNLESS they have had went on a field trip/very tired. I walk home from the bus everyday carrying the school bag myself.


Exercising self-discipline is important, especially for children. Self-discipline allows oneself to be able to handle his/herself in tough situations. Even if its just carrying a bag, at least he/she will receive enough practice to carry his OWN things when he gets over.

However, if the child seriously has a heavy school bag and is starting to get thinner, then that’s a different issue.

[carebear]

If i pick my kids from school by car, they will carry their bags to the car.

However if my maid or myself pick them up from school by foot, then we carry the bag for them as it is a 1 km walk home and i fear that carrying the heavy bag may stunt their growth.

[sall]

I think it’s ok to carry bags for them, when they’re a bit older, they would automatically reject your offer, cos they feel embarrassed. They dun even want you to pick them from school. So dun have to worry about training them to be independent.

[carebear]

sall:

I think it's ok to carry bags for them, when they're a bit older, they would automatically reject your offer, cos they feel embarrassed. They dun even want you to pick them from school. So dun have to worry about training them to be independent.

Hahahaha.... u r rite sall!
My DS1 who is in S2 will carry his own bag to the car even if i offer to carry it for him.
He will offer to carry the grocery for me too.
I think as parents, if we offer to carry their bags for them when they are young, they will follow our example when they are older to help us carry things !

[verykiasu2010]

carebear:

sall:

I think it's ok to carry bags for them, when they're a bit older, they would automatically reject your offer, cos they feel embarrassed. They dun even want you to pick them from school. So dun have to worry about training them to be independent.

Hahahaha.... u r rite sall!
My DS1 who is in S2 will carry his own bag to the car even if i offer to carry it for him.
He will offer to carry the grocery for me too.
I think as parents, if we offer to carry their bags for them when they are young, they will follow our example when they are older to help us carry things !

it is teaching by example, helping a needy person in need, regardless of age

[Happy Mama]

I have been carrying my DD's bag from the car to the back gate and vice versa as their bags are just too heavy and being P1s and P2s, they are too tiny to call such a heavy load. So as far as I can minimise her load (even for that few steps), I will do so. DH and I are worried that the heavy load will cause her to slouch or hunch.


BUT, I have just decided that since she is in Pri 3 now, she should be carrying her own bag. Hence, from tomorrow onwards, she has to carry her own bag. Mornings are fine, since I drop her doorstep in school.