In-law problems?
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My husband was e one who inform her anout school. Now my MIL is angry with everyone at home.
I am thinking my sending her 5 a full day childcare. Sending her for 2-3 class is good but those classes just let they play nothing much to learn thats what i heard and keep changing school may affect her cos different schools have different methods of teaching.
It just happen that my 2nd niece will be born this Dec, MIL says that she will need to take care of the new baby after taking care of mine daughter, we sure are very good in planning. :? She's good at chaining things up. But what to do she's my MIL anyway. -
Sigh no privacy living with in-laws… but will try to close one eye about conflicts, so as not to make things difficult for DH…
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My STUPID (couldn't find a better word for it) SIL did this yesterday when we had to go there for dinner.
DH was with MIL discussing her family problems (like it's unusual) in a room. So immunity level from IL is especially low.
DS2 (2 year old) was trying to climb up to sit on her lap with the rest of us in the living area watching 'Finding Nemo'.
She carried DS2 to her lap and said the following:
'You are a dirty boy, you know or not? You are very dirty. You are really dirty boy, you know? What a dirty boy!'
I was like :shock:. :whut: did DS2 do?????????
SIL's hubby was at the area too. DS2 tried to climb onto the chair my SIL had sat on. He shouted at him,
'No. No! No! Oeiii!'
I was :x, felt like :torchme: her and :wrongmove: him.
When DH came to join us, OH... everything became so different.
DS2 was sitted beside SIL's hubby. DS2 moved to touch him, his hubby said,'Yes, what do you want? Oh, water.' (Passed the water to DS2 and smiled broadly to DH)
:stupid: :stupid: :stupid:
Related everything to DH and he was very angry too. Why do people just like to ACT? -
winth:
:!: :!: :!: :x :x :xDS2 (2 year old) was trying to climb up to sit on her lap with the rest of us in the living area watching 'Finding Nemo'.
She carried DS2 to her lap and said the following:
'You are a dirty boy, you know or not? You are very dirty. You are really dirty boy, you know? What a dirty boy!'
SIL's hubby was at the area too. DS2 tried to climb onto the chair my SIL had sat on. He shouted at him,
'No. No! No! Oeiii!'
You very patient hor.. if it happened to me, I think I will shoot back leow.. -
RRMummy:
You very patient hor.. if it happened to me, I think I will shoot back leow..
Shoot back no use one. That's not my territory. So I know I am fighting a losing war, plus they will sure gossip about me EVEN MORE behind my back.
My status in the house is that of RK's (the house dog).
DH said I did the right thing bec I shouldn't never 'teach them to out-smart or out-talk us' by correcting/arguing with people of such intelligence/EQ level. If not, next time their attack level increase.
My mum and DH has this same strategy when it comes to dealing with nasty people. So, I just have to 看开 plus wish them
all the luck! Got karma one mar!
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Wa! Didn’t notice I brown belt liao!
YEY -
winth:
on the way to KiasuGrandMaster status....Wa! Didn't notice I brown belt liao!
YEY
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winth:
DH said I did the right thing bec I shouldn't never 'teach them to out-smart or out-talk us' by correcting/arguing with people of such intelligence/EQ level. If not, next time their attack level increase.
I do agree with your DH about this. My sis's ILs are just as bad or sometimes worst. My sis is the type that is 心直口快, so sometimes she shoot b4 thinking and ended up quarreling with her DH becos of it. I always told her that its not worth quarreling with DH becos of ILs.
Just treat them transparent lah, they are not worth your time and blood pressure. My words to my sis, hopefully works for you too: You are more than what you think of yourself, so don't lower yourself to their level. She now learns how to make jokes out of their sometimes ridiculous behaviour. :celebrate: -
MLR:
Yup. My character very similiar to your sis - 心直口快 type. Learnt to keep my mouth shut to avoid conflicts with DH.I do agree with your DH about this. My sis's ILs are just as bad or sometimes worst. My sis is the type that is 心直口快, so sometimes she shoot b4 thinking and ended up quarreling with her DH becos of it. I always told her that its not worth quarreling with DH becos of ILs.
Just treat them transparent lah, they are not worth your time and blood pressure. My words to my sis, hopefully works for you too: You are more than what you think of yourself, so don't lower yourself to their level. She now learns how to make jokes out of their sometimes ridiculous behaviour. :celebrate:
Though angry, DH feels sad for his sis as well... that she doesn't know what is in store for her (err... I read faces quite well). -
Actually when I read through this thread, its like reading through some teenagers forum where the kids are slamming their parents for not being "understanding", or "cruel" or "old fashioned". Say what you like, most of us will be PILs someday, coming from a different culture and mindset of our children and their spouses. Likewise, we can hardly expect our PILs to share our types of values and views of the world. Instead of asking for the PILs to understand us, how about the reverse?
Fundamentally, I believe
1)PILs have the interest of their child (your spouse) and their grandchildren at heart, even if they don’t give 2 shakes about you (and usually, even if they don’t get along with you they typically feel conflicted about that).
2) Parents/PILs have the right to live their lives as they wish.
If there is one thing true about humans, is that we judge ourselves by our ideals, and judge others by their actions. I.e., whilst its easy to say "If I were them, this is what I’d do", the reality may be quite different, and we are likely to be as vexing to our future SIL/DIL as our PILs are to us now. We may complain that our parents/PILs are unwilling to help out, but hey, they’ve done their time, and in a period when it was probably much harder to get external help. I take whatever I can get, if they aren’t available, I compromise. Compromise may mean someone needs to quit their job, take on a maid, etc.
I think we need to be reasonable here, and if there is anything being parents has taught us, its got to be that there are always two sides to a coin.
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