Asian Mums are more SUPERIOR?

[Blobbi]

Cackle. Was wondering when someone was going to comment on Amy Chua’s looks. I don’t know if she looks like she had plastic surgery (looks natural to me), but she sure looks good. 49? Lagi impressive! She really seems like she has it all- good looks, brains, $$, successful offsprings, persumably adoring husband, and now fame/notoriety.


My only worry about her argument is that some parents may go back and tighten the screws further after seeing her good results. I do buy into the discipline yada yada. But not at the same price. And why ruin your relationship with your darlings? You hold the upper hand when your kids are younger and weaker. But watch out for when the boot is on the other foot.

I’m all for "at the pace of the kid", whatever that may be. You can’t over-water a plant in the hopes that it will develop faster.

[2ppaamm]

jtoh:

So they're being over-trained to peak before 12. I suppose DSA is a factor in that. Sad. What sort of long term injuries are these young sports people at risk of?

i

I actually don't know as I'm not an expert in this field.   But all I know is that both western and far eastern concept is contrary to what we are practising, out of a good parental will, I supposed.  Remember,  even in China, the kids leave their home to be with their coaches so parents hv very little say in their training methodology.  Here, it is very different. 

[schweppes]

2ppaamm:

In Singapore, the parents go straight for medals, perhaps for DSA etc. Not sure what the purpose is. There are many concerns raised at the national level about the quality of our matured athletes. In certain sports, we train fantastic aged group athletes but at the Olympic levels, they do not shine at all. If you visit one or two aged group meets, even at the world level, you will see what I mean. U-12, our girls and boys will snatch a large number of medals. But at Olympics, they'll dwindle to nothingness.

To some, it'll be for the good of the child. To others, maybe for bragging rights?? :idea:

[Fairy]

deleted

[jtoh]

schweppes:

2ppaamm:

In Singapore, the parents go straight for medals, perhaps for DSA etc. Not sure what the purpose is. There are many concerns raised at the national level about the quality of our matured athletes. In certain sports, we train fantastic aged group athletes but at the Olympic levels, they do not shine at all. If you visit one or two aged group meets, even at the world level, you will see what I mean. U-12, our girls and boys will snatch a large number of medals. But at Olympics, they'll dwindle to nothingness.

To some, it'll be for the good of the child. To others, maybe for bragging rights?? :idea:

True.

[jtoh]

2ppaamm:

jtoh:

So they're being over-trained to peak before 12. I suppose DSA is a factor in that. Sad. What sort of long term injuries are these young sports people at risk of?

i

I actually don't know as I'm not an expert in this field.   But all I know is that both western and far eastern concept is contrary to what we are practising, out of a good parental will, I supposed.  Remember,  even in China, the kids leave their home to be with their coaches so parents hv very little say in their training methodology.  Here, it is very different. 

I suppose the mantra they subscribe to is No pain, no glory.

[2ppaamm]

jtoh:

I suppose the mantra they subscribe to is No pain, no glory.

Actually, I'm really not sure why it is like that. This is again, the difficulty of being a parent.

You have this precious child. You want to maximize his potential. So you put him in this vigorous training (that every goodwilled parent in the club does anyway), and you don't know what is the best. Every parent is clamoring for more training, you just join in the crowd. You don't ask any more question. When the kid does not perform, you put in more hours, like a Tiger mum would ensure his child would. After all, you must help your child maximize his potential. If the more hours is still not good enough for the medal, you do even more.

No time to sit down and ask if much is too much, you know nothing about injury as a parent. The coaches won't tell you either, because if they tell you, you curse and switch club (except for very few). They know you want results, so they pump the child further. The vicious cycle goes on and on. Some luckier ones, (like my son) have a lazier and busier mum who did not have time to bring them to train 11 times or 14 times a week . But somehow, he made it. By the time we find out that what young athletes have done wrong, the damage is already done, this is because only at the elite level do they analyze and focus on the talents. By then, many would have been 'wasted'. This cycle goes on and on.

I think DSA has a part to play. If you have been driving your kid everyday to train, then he'd better get a place through DSA. Afterall, you rationalize, it will take the pressure off PSLE. So the kid train even harder. Those who make it rejoice and train even harder in Sec school (at 13 hard training is now encouraged), but those who don't make the DSA will likely switch sport at this point - damage already done. Many kid are burnt out (whether or not he made it through DSA) or he will not return to the sport ever again. We would have lost many talents.

I watch this day in and day out. I sit with parents of young athletes and laugh with them and rejoice with them when their children perform. But would I dare tell them they have over trained their kids? No way! They'd think that I am some kind of alien or I am jealous. Better shut up and just enjoy their company. Deep inside, I pity the child.

[Mamalicious Alicia]

Blobbi wrote:

You can't over-water a plant in the hopes that it will develop faster.


Could not agree more.
Sometimes I look at my children and wish they grow up faster but then when I look at other children (infants) I suddenly miss their baby stage...


I suppose this is an endless debatable thread and posting more links to interesting articles or videos will help us decide better how to manage nurture our children! Thanks to those mummies who did.

Mamalicious Alicia

[lisadrome]

The Message Mamalicious Alicia is quite true... one can never over-water the plant in the hopes it will grow faster...


Honestly parents just need to honor their sense and guide their children through life- responsibility- then life will be a chore? The fact is that one has to see their child as part of them... I think that helps to ease esp during emotional rage, anger...

Catch this interesting vid on done by our local Temasek Poly students:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E77VNcNGTIM&feature=related

[micollh]

sometimes, i feel being parents in our times is so much stressful than our parents time due to too much resources to refer to until we ourselves get confuse at which style to follow and all try to stretch our child more and more…


our parents just brought us up in a very relax way and we all grew up just fine…


ultimately, we want our kids to be happy, have a memorable childhood that filled with play and fun… just like ours… hopefully our kids wont remember their childhood with enrichment class after enrichment class… mummy scolding cos cant do certain maths equation…

so, we judge ourselves how we want our kids’ childhood to be !