Parents out there, please give me some advise, I'm blank

[sotongmom76]

cherrygal:

Really sad to read your situation.


1) Did you not obtain alimony from your ex-hubby? Where is the child support?
2) Do you have relatives here who can help you? You seem all alone...
3) Can you return to Malaysia since things are less expensive over there and you can then tap on the country's financial assistance schemes?
4) Find a more flexible job that may earn more money eg. housing agent, insurance agent etc

Your situation is so sticky primarily because of the citizenship issue. As verykiasu had suggested, ask your MP for help to see if the kids can become citizens since you are one.

Stay strong, gal!

HI, thks for giving me advise.

1) He didn't gave me because he said that it's my will to divorce, so he'll gave me the custory of the children but no alimony. Wat do you mean \"where is the child support\"?

2) Ya, I should be all alone. Cause I've been married to Malaysia for 13yrs, so we are not so close.

3) I can't go back to Malaysia because I'm not a Malaysian or PR. All these 13yrs I'm just having visit social pass. Even I'm back there, I can't find a job.

4) I'm not good at sales...

:stupid: right????

[sotongmom76]

If in West Malaysia, go see Michael Chong of MCA (or has the person-in-charge has been changed ?)


In Singapore, go see the MP, or any Church group[/quote]

Well, I had been to MP. MP had written a letter to CDC at Toa Payoh. But I was rejected by CDC because I’m working and the most thing is my children are foregin.

[sotongmom76]

TREX8:

1. Financial aid - see if your children's schools are able to provide any financial aid. Some aids are restricted to citizens, but others are provided by the school and applies to all students in the school. For example, ask school to see if can help with textbooks, uniform and pocket money etc.

2. Supervision help - work with your children's teachers. See if some system can be worked out for your child to stay back in school and complete homework in school. You might want to arrange a meeting with the school Principal and see what can be worked out.

For your P6 boy whom you said is \"lazy, telling lies\" - was he like this previously? You've mentioned that you've come to Singapore in Dec 2009 with your children. Where were they previously educated in? In Malaysia? Chinese or Malay medium school?

Could it be that your child is not lazy but simply cannot cope with school demands and hence didn't do his homework? Could it be that he lied to you in order not to worry you?
.

They used to study in Malaysia Chinese School.

Tomorrow I'll meet my boy's teacher and maybe we'll sort out things.

Thank you very much for your advise.

[sotongmom76]

Thanks parent who came in here to advise and encourage me!


Yesterday I and my P6 boy had a talk. Because out of a sudden he told me that he wanted to go back to his dad’s place.

I knew that he’s not really willing to go back to his dad’s place, so we had a talk just him and I.

Found out that, he said he’s going to give himself up because he don’t know whether he can make it through PSLE and he’s unwilling going to school.

Because he felt sorry that he didn’t do his homework and telling lies to him and felt that he had let his P5 teacher and P6 teacher down. He said he can’t help being lazy and want to play. He said that since Monday, he don’t have recess until the last 5 mins because his teacher asked him to stay in the class to read his Sci.

THEN, I realise that I’m TOTALLY WRONG. Ya, totally wrong. So now I think that I should give up my nite job, and spend times with the kids. I had told my other 3 children, they said that it’s ok even through that they can eat bread or white rice.

I had a great cry alone by myself and was sleepless the whole nite. So I intent to have a talk with his teacher and see how can we work together.

I’ll be strong and try to pay the dets which I had owned to the SP, HDB and phone line. Then from there, I’m going to plan out everything again, and be more hardworking looking for home based job which I can do in the nite and weekends.

[verykiasu2010]

sotongmom76:

Thanks parent who came in here to advise and encourage me!


Yesterday I and my P6 boy had a talk. Because out of a sudden he told me that he wanted to go back to his dad's place.

I knew that he's not really willing to go back to his dad's place, so we had a talk just him and I.

Found out that, he said he's going to give himself up because he don't know whether he can make it through PSLE and he's unwilling going to school.

Because he felt sorry that he didn't do his homework and telling lies to him and felt that he had let his P5 teacher and P6 teacher down. He said he can't help being lazy and want to play. He said that since Monday, he don't have recess until the last 5 mins because his teacher asked him to stay in the class to read his Sci.

THEN, I realise that I'm TOTALLY WRONG. Ya, totally wrong. So now I think that I should give up my nite job, and spend times with the kids. I had told my other 3 children, they said that it's ok even through that they can eat bread or white rice.

I had a great cry alone by myself and was sleepless the whole nite. So I intent to have a talk with his teacher and see how can we work together.

I'll be strong and try to pay the dets which I had owned to the SP, HDB and phone line. Then from there, I'm going to plan out everything again, and be more hardworking looking for home based job which I can do in the nite and weekends.

sotong, please see your inbox of of 'private message' i believe that organisation can give you some help. no strings attached

[3Boys]

sotongmom76:

I had a great cry alone by myself and was sleepless the whole nite. So I intent to have a talk with his teacher and see how can we work together.

I'll be strong and try to pay the dets which I had owned to the SP, HDB and phone line. Then from there, I'm going to plan out everything again, and be more hardworking looking for home based job which I can do in the nite and weekends.

Is your hubby(ex?) paying any child maintenance? Perhaps get him to understand your children's situation.

[TREX8]

Dear sotongmom76, now that you've mentioned that your child used to study in Malaysia Chinese school, it probably explains part of the reason why he's not enjoying school. Primary 6 is the year when Singapore children take the Primary School Leaving Examination (PSLE). Schools are rushing to finish teaching everything by end May and then it will be preparation for this examination. It is a very stressful year for Primary 6 students here, let along your boy who joined the Singapore system mid way.


Don't be too disheartened by your boy saying that he wants to go back to his father- I don't think he wants to leave you. Rather, it could be that he yearns to go back in time to when things were \"normal\" and familiar.

Anyway, it seems like there has been some positive:
1. You managed to have a good talk with your child
2. You are meeting up with your child's teacher and see if you can work together to help your boy
3. You have made the decision to quit the night job.

I think quitting your night job is a good decision. At least, in the evening, the children can come home to Mummy, have a good home cook meal, do their homework or watch TV with you etc. These are probably the things that you all have been doing when you were a stay-at-home mum in Malaysia. By being around in the evening, at least, you can restore some things that are \"familiar\" to your children.

All the best! 加油！

sotongmom76:

Thanks parent who came in here to advise and encourage me!

Yesterday I and my P6 boy had a talk. Because out of a sudden he told me that he wanted to go back to his dad's place.

I knew that he's not really willing to go back to his dad's place, so we had a talk just him and I.

Found out that, he said he's going to give himself up because he don't know whether he can make it through PSLE and he's unwilling going to school.

Because he felt sorry that he didn't do his homework and telling lies to him and felt that he had let his P5 teacher and P6 teacher down. He said he can't help being lazy and want to play. He said that since Monday, he don't have recess until the last 5 mins because his teacher asked him to stay in the class to read his Sci.

THEN, I realise that I'm TOTALLY WRONG. Ya, totally wrong. So now I think that I should give up my nite job, and spend times with the kids. I had told my other 3 children, they said that it's ok even through that they can eat bread or white rice.

I had a great cry alone by myself and was sleepless the whole nite. So I intent to have a talk with his teacher and see how can we work together.

I'll be strong and try to pay the dets which I had owned to the SP, HDB and phone line. Then from there, I'm going to plan out everything again, and be more hardworking looking for home based job which I can do in the nite and weekends.

[sotongmom76]

3Boys:

Is your hubby(ex?) paying any child maintenance? Perhaps get him to understand your children's situation.

he supposed to and he did in till feb 2010....then he disappeared....

[lisadrome]

Hope all is better with your house and family situation...


How are you finding yourself now w/o having to go for the night shifts and spending time with your children? Love to hear that?

Sharing with you a motivational take to life for a parent:
I recently read smt on parent pyramid: \"Parents weren't meant to spend most of their time correcting their children, How do we help things go right, instead of react when things go wrong?\"

I have a pdf and am willing to pass it to you or anyone whom wants it... my email is [email protected]. Just att to me and say smt like you want to read the Parenting Pyramid pdf.

Thnks![/img]

[fussyMummy]

sotongmom76:

....I'll be strong and try to pay the dets which I had owned to the SP, HDB and phone line. Then from there, I'm going to plan out everything again, and be more hardworking looking for home based job which I can do in the nite and weekends.

Hi sotongmom76,

Stay strong , gal. :celebrate: Give you 101% moral support~

You arent alone!